


SCARRED

by Ccicchini



Category: IU (Musician), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: BTS AU, F/F, F/M, I don't know, I don't know what to put, IU - Freeform, M/M, bangtan?, i guess, inamorata - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:42:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 58,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29937741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ccicchini/pseuds/Ccicchini
Summary: Weird and stupid BTS au with a fake group





	1. Chapter 1

**Koda POV**

"Welcome to Incheon international airport. We will begin departing shortly. Please remain in your seats until the fasten seatbelt sign is off and thank you again for flying AirKorea." I looked at Snow, smiling softly, exhausted from lack of sleep on the flight. Thankfully, we were in first class so we got to leave the plane first.

"I still don't understand why they're sending us to Korea for training. We have a Grammy for fucks sake," Snow complained. I shrugged and sighed. She has a point, you'd think you wouldn't need anymore training after a Grammy win.

"It's probably because of the merger. They're merging with that company BigStiff remember?" Snow looked at me like I was an idiot.

"It's BigHit, dumbass." My face reddened.

"I knew that."

She rolled her eyes. "No. You didn't."

"Well, whatever." The fasten seatbelt light turned off and we stood up. After collecting our bags we walked off the place to the arrival gate. Kristoff, our bodyguard, following close behind. As soon as we got out of the gate, we were met with screaming fans, calling our names and crying.

"I will never get used to this," Snow said, adjusting the mask that covered my face. I pulled my hair forward to cover my face more and she followed suit. "People actually freaking out because we exist. Yet, they have no idea what we even look like."

"I don't understand why we can't just come in our normal clothes. We can be so much sneakier that way," I whined. I hated having to dress in our Inamorata costumes. It's fine for music videos, award shows, or performances but, I'd rather just have a quiet flight where nobody bothers us.

"Me too. I would rather prefer to be a nobody at airports. The camera flashes are blinding me." I nodded in agreement. "We need to get to the car as fast as possible."

Snow and I walked with Kristoff and some airport security to the exit. Fans were lining the walkway with more security holding them off, a couple reporters were there too. Damn vultures. I was told Korea was going to be different than back at home. Then again, they aren't shoving the cameras down our throats trying to find out what we at for dinner last night.

Once we got to the SUV, Kristoff ushered us in the back seat and got into the passenger seat. The SUV was all black and surprisingly comfortable. The seats were leather but the cushion felt like it was a tempurpedic bed. I hate flying so I couldn't sleep at all, and my lack of sleep caused Snow not to sleep cause everytime the plane moved I groaned in fear.

I looked over at her and she was tapping away on her phone like she hadn't used it in a year. A smile came over my face. "Koda." Kristoff interrupted my train of thought. "We're going straight to the company to meet with the CEO then we will get you settled in the hotel, alright?"

"Alright. Does he speak English?" I asked with a lot of hope. I had tried learning Korean but I failed miserably.

"He does. Most of them there do. Even most of their artists." I breathed a sigh of relief. At least there won't be a huge language barrier. If I'm gonna be in Korea for a while, I should get a dictionary or something.

"Hey, Kris?" I asked. He grunted in response. "Can we stop by a bookstore or something? I'm gonna pick up a learning Korean book." He looked at the driver and the driver nodded.

"We can do that." He said something to the driver in Korean and I stared at him confused. The driver responded with something and he nodded. "There's a book store right down the street from the building. We can stop there."

"Since when do you speak Korean?" I asked.

"Since I was a child. You know I'm Korean." I gave him an incredulous look.

"You said you were Japanese," I retorted, eyes narrowed at him.

"I'm both. My mom is Korean and my dad is Japanese." He never told me that. He told me he was Japanese.

"And yet, your name is Kristoff. I'm sorry, is there some German in you somewhere?" I is confusion.

"My parents thought it'd be a nice name for growing up in America. They didn't realize that it was a pretty uncommon name versus Christopher." I nodded in understanding. That kind of made sense.

"How long is it to the bookstore?"

"About ten minutes, Just relax, I know you didn't sleep well on the plane." I nodded and grabbed my headphones from my bag. I popped them in and started listening to a Korean song called 'Stay with Me'. It's a nice ballad that kinda hits my soul.

It felt like ten seconds when I felt a tap on my knee. I opened my eyes and saw Kris' smiling face. "Morning, Sunshine. We're here." I looked outside and saw we were in front of a bookstore. I nodded and went to open the door and Kris' cleared his throat. I looked at him and he used his finger to make a circle around his face.

I looked in the mirror and saw my mask was gone. My eyes widened before giving Kris a sheepish smile. "Thanks." I found my mask next to Snow who was bobbing her head to some song she was listening to.

"Where are we?" she asked, noticing we were at a tiny building that looked nothing like BigHit's building.

"I wanted to stop and get a learning Korean book since we're going to be here for a while." She nodded. Kris turned around.

"Here's some Korean money. Most places here won't take foreign money. I exchanged it for you per Jason." I thanked him and mentally rolled my eyes. Our stupid manager couldn't even come with us cause of some stupid band he was researching. Just throw us into another country alone. Thanks, dick.

"Cool. Pick me one up too, preferably one with a CD so I can just listen to it." Snow chimed. I nodded and stepped out of the car, walking inside the store. The store was small and cute. The walls were a light orange and the walls were filled with tons and tons of books. It was like a dream come true. I love books.

"Can I help you find anything?" the lady at the counter asked in English. She sounded native. Thank god I wasn't gonna have to use Google Translate. It sucks.

"Yes. Could you tell me where the language section is?" She smiled and nodded, walking out from behind the counter.

"Follow me." I walked behind her as she led me to the correct section. "You're Koda, right?"

"Yes, Ma'am, I am." She knows me, hmmm. Interesting.

"Nice to meet you. I'm SooYoung. Yes, I'm a fan." My face got red at how calm and blunt she was.

"It's nice to meet you too. I'm Koda. But, then again, you just said my name so you already knew that, I guess." She laughed and stopped to turn to me.

"I had heard a rumor about you guys coming here to train under one of the companies." I nodded. "That's cool. How long are you guys gonna be here for?"

"Probably over a year. That's why I'm picking up some language books. I'm not good at sign language." Sooyoung chuckled. I smile. She has a beautiful laugh.

"Well, here we are. If you want the most accurate books that will help you the most, take these." She grabbed some books off the counter and handed them to me. "These guys started a website called TalkToMeInKorean.com and they're the best. They also have CD's that come with them to help you as well."

I smiled. Exactly what I was looking for. "Perfect! I'll take two of each." She smiled and gave me about six books and grabbed six more. She started walking towards the cash register and I followed suit. She placed them on the counter.

"Is this all you needed?" I nodded. She rang up each one. and placed them into two large bags. "It comes out to $116." I handed her the appropriate cash, thankfully I knew the exchange rate. She opened the register and gave me change. She wrote something on the receipt and handed it to me. "Being a trainee is a little crazy, schedule wise, but if you need anyone to show you around here's my number."

I smiled at her. "Thanks. I'm probably going to need that soon. If I'm gonna be living here for a while."

"Well, you've been here for...?" she trailed off.

I looked at my watch. "About two hours."

"See, two hours into your move and you already made a friend, look at you!" She laughed. I giggled.

"Well thank you, Sooyoung." I grabbed the bags off the counter and walked towards the door. "I'll text you!" She waved and I walked out the door to the car. I got in and handed the bags to Snow. She grabbed them and looked inside.

"There's a lot of books," she mumbled.

"There's six each. The bookkeeper said that those are the best way to learn." She nodded in response. The driver started the car and backed out of the parking lot. Driving to the BigHit building. Once we got there, I looked at the large building, my nerves wracking themselves around.

"We're here, kids." Snow jumped out of the car excitedly. I went to grab the handle and noticed my hand shaking. I know that Kris saw it because he started at me. "Koda," he started. I looked at him. "It's going to be alright. Don't stress. I'm here." I nodded and opened the door.

I stayed right next to Snow when we walked into the building. It was a nice building and beautiful on the inside, like an upper class doctors office; it smelled like a doctors office too. Kris walked up to the counter. "We have an appointment with Bang PD for Inamorata." The receptionist looked over to us and smiled. She handed us three lanyards and said something in Korean.

"What did she say?" Snow asked. Kris turned back to us.

"Our meeting is going to be on the second floor, third door on the right." We nodded and he directed us to the stairs. We walked up to the second floor and I took a deep breath before walking into the hall.

"I'm gonna puke," I whined. Snow looked at me and gave me a soft smile.

"Don't be that guy. We're gonna be fine and there is nothing to worry about. You got me and super beefy Kris." Kris just looked at her before smirking. Kris did have a large amount of muscles. And yes, he was hot.

I started walking down the hall and stopped at the third door on the right. I opened it and walked in, pretending--and possibly failing--to be confident. There were eleven people around the rectangular table. I got nauseous and now I want to puke again. Oh no. They're hot too. Shit.


	2. Chapter 2

Me, being the idiot I am, tripped over a cord and landed face first on the carpet. "Son of a bitch!" I yelled, clutching my throbbing nose. I looked up and all the men were staring at me.

"This is why we can't have nice things," Snow complained. I stared at her. She smiled at me and winked. Rude! I stood up, dusting myself off and fixing my shirt. "Are you okay?"

I flicked a piece of my long blonde wig behind my shoulder. "Bitch, I might be." She laughed out loud. Then I realized, there is a room full of hot Korean men and I just cursed. Fuck. My eyes traveled to the amused expressions around the room. Stopping on the man laughing.

"Hello, My name is Si-Hyuk Bang. I am the CEO of BigHit. It's nice to meet you." My face turned fifty shades of mortified. I looked at Snow and then we both bowed a full ninety-degrees.

"Hello. PD-nim. My name is Koda."

"My name is Snow. Nice to meet you." The rest of the sitting men looked at us with raised eyebrows. Si-Hyuk chuckled.

"I see that someone told you about formalities here. Considering you used my Korean pronoun." We nodded, both looking slightly uncomfortable. He stood up and gestured to two empty chairs. "Please, take a seat."

Snow immediately sat down before grabbing my arm and pulling me to sit down next to her. She now looked calm but I was sitting here freaking the hell out cause I just realized who I'm sitting directly in front of, BT-Fucking-S. My eyes go up and meet Jungkook's paralyzing gaze. My face turns beet red and he smiles.

"Well, let me introduce everyone," PD-nim started. Before he could get out the first name, one of the BTS boys, Suga, I think, piped up.

"Do you know BTS?" I nodded slowly. He smiled. "Do you know our songs?" I nodded again, refusing to say that I've been an A.R.M.Y. forever and I know every lyric to every single song, including their solo songs.

"Yoongi," SiHyuk warned. Suga sunk down into his chair looking disappointed. He turned his attention back to us. "I assume you've done research on our company then?"

"We know almost everyone here. We know BTS and Homme," Snow explained. He nodded.

"So I assume I don't need to tell you everyone's names?" We both shook our heads. "Perfect. Well, since you know each other now. I should explain the terms of the training. Your manager, Jason, seemed to be very interested in your being trained here with us. I also decided that you shouldn't be on your own because you are not accustomed to Korean culture and our entertainment systems."

"Correct," I squeaked. Jimin chuckled but quickly stopped and continued to look at the CEO. Sihyuk looked at Jimin and smiled.

"Well, since you are new here and I am assuming your Korean skills are minimal?" We both nodded.

"We got books that will hopefully help us with it."

"Excellent. I also have asked our BTS members to mentor you during the training. They will be watching over you to make sure that you settle in and will be there to answer any questions that you might have." he promised. Snow smiled.

"I have no problem being mentored by such fine men as BTS," she flirted. I stare at her incredulously. "What?" I shook my head.

"Neither do I," I agreed. Namjoon smiled widely, showing his perfect teeth. My stomach dropped when I saw his dimples. Damn, he's cute.

"Awesome. Don't worry, we'll make sure that you're taken care of. We can also help you with your Korean." Hoseok said. I shivered at the sound of his voice. J-hope? More like J-Dope.

"Thank you," Snow cooed. I looked back to Jungkook and he was still smiling. My face got even more red. I didn't think that it could but I was proven wrong.

"Also, we have your backup dancers here and they will be training as well. So, during your practices, they will be with you so you can use them for your songs." My eyebrows shot up. I didn't think we'd have them with us. That makes me a little more comfortable. Damon is gonna be here, thank god.

"Thank you," I breathed. At least I'll have more people that I know.

"Your dorms will be available in the next few days but until then, we have you set up at the hotel two streets over. Will that be acceptable?" We both nodded. "We will also have your training start when you move into the dorms. BTS will be flying overseas for a couple schedules they have. When they come back you will start your training."

"Sounds good to us!" Snow piped in.

"Koda, since you are the rapper of the duo, you will be working with Hoseok, Namjoon, and Yoongi. Snow, since you're the singer, you'll be working mostly with Jin, Jungkook, V, and Jimin." We both nodded in agreement. Thank god, I'm away from the maknae line. They slay me and I would not be able to focus if they were around me all the time.

"Since you have some spare time before your training starts, I suggest walking around the town to get to know it better. Since this will be your home for a while, it'll be good for you to get to know your surroundings. Now, since everything is settled, Namjoon," Namjoon looked up. "Can you boys show them around the building?"

"I can do that, sir." Namjoon looked at us and smiled that beautiful smile. Rude. I'm suing. You're fired. I quit. I didn't realize that he was smiling at my gaping mouth till Snow closed it for me and he started to chuckle. Oh god, throw me off a damn bridge please.

"Have a good day, boys. Let me know if you need anything." Sihyuk walked out of the room. My stomach dropped again realizing that I was here with Homme and BTS. And then Homme left. Shit balls of fuck fire. I focused on regulating my breathing. Jin stood up and smiled.

"Now, who's ready for the tour?" Snow jumped up. I slowly stood up. "We can start on this floor so we don't have to come back here." I nodded softly. Jin walked to the door and opened it, the rest of BTS following suit. Do they do everything together?

"This floor is where all of the meeting rooms are, offices for the employees, so there is not much to see. Just a lot of doors and boring things. We should go to the first floor." He had only walked out to say there was nothing there? That seems pointless but, whatever.

We followed Jin as he walked towards the elevator. My heart started to thump harder. I don't do elevators. Ever. Never. No. I stopped in my tracks. The boys turned around and looked at me. "I'll just take the stairs. Meet you guys down there. K. Bye!!!!!"

I turned on my heels and bolted to the stairs. I ran down as fast as I could and waited for the elevator to open with them coming out. When they finally did. Jimin looked at me inquisitively. I just shrugged and looked down.

"You may have been here before," Jin started. "Considering this is where you came in from but there is another hallway I'm sure you have not visited yet." I wasn't totally paying attention to them, my mind was kind of focused on the back of Jungkook's head, noticing how perfect his hair is, those perfect shoulders.

I didn't realize I looked like a creeper till Snow waved her hand in front of my face. I looked at her then realized Jungkook was staring at me with a smile. I looked down. "Sorry. I zoned out for a sec."

"Right," Jungkook said, smirking. I'm sure that I was officially part of the tomato family now. Oh my god, how mortifying. Jin kept talking, walking us down the new hallway.

"This is where some of the trainees practice. This door on the left is the vocal training room. Snow, we'll be spending most of our time in here." Snow nodded and looked inside. There was a large grand piano and some beautiful pictures hanging around the walls. "The door on the right is another vocal room but this one is for rap training. Koda, you'll be in here most of the time."

I'm slightly offended that they think I need a lot of rap training. My rap helped us get a Grammy, thank you very much. But, instead of saying anything, I just nodded and gave a small smile.

"So, what do you think of Korea so far?" I was snapped back into reality at Jimin's voice. I looked at him and smiled.

"It's nice. I'd like to see more of it." He nodded and smiled.

"There's this restaurant down the street from us that we should check out!" He squeaked. I giggled. He's too adorable. No! Koda, stop. You shouldn't be thinking like that. STOP IT!

"That sounds fun. As long as they have good food!"

"The best," Jungkook piped in, wrapping an arm around Jimin. "You won't find better near here. We used to go there all the time when we were trainees." I chuckled.

"Well, I may just have to check it out then!"

Jin stopped talking and walked over to us. "I'm sorry, is this social time or a tour of the building?" Jimin rolled his eyes.

"A tour, Mother." Jin's eyes twitched. I took a nervous step back.

"Then act like it, you brat. I'm showing our new charges around where they will spend most of their time," he growled. My breathing started to get faster; I could feel a panic attack coming on. Oh no. Not now.

"Sorry. We'll be quiet," Jimin promised, elbowing Jungkook in the ribs when he laughed.

"Yes, we promise." Jin turned to me and furrowed his brows.

"Are you okay?" I nodded, though how violently I was shaking, I don't know if he noticed. He eyed me up and down. "Alright. Let me know if you need anything. Let's get back to the tour." He walked back to the front talking about something that I didn't pay attention to. I was doing everything I could to try and calm myself down. I don't like confrontation.

"Now that we are done here, let's go to the third floor." Jin walked us over to the elevator again. I go to the stairs and Taehyung turns to me.

"Do you not like elevators?" he asked. His sexy voice resonating directly to my groin. I shook my head. He nodded "Alright. Well, I can go with you so you're not alone."

I nodded. I opened the door and walked in, he followed behind me, Snow decided to stay and take the elevator. We walked up the stairs to the second floor and I noticed that Taehyung was chewing his lip.

"Do you speak Korean?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Not yet. I just picked up some Korean books before we got here. I'm going to check them out tonight when we get back to the hotel," I explained. He gave me a small smile and nodded.

"If you need any help, I would be glad to be there for you." His accent was not super obvious which amazed me that they have never lived outside of Korea. My Korean, when I learn it, is going to be crap. I know it.

"Thank you." We arrived at the third floor and walked out to the hall; we beat the elevator here. We stood in front of it, Taehyung smiling when the doors opened.

"Welcome to the third floor. How may I direct your walk?" Oh damn! This boy got some sass! Jin rolled his eyes and just walked out. The rest of them did the same. Taehyung nodded his head in the direction they were walking. I followed him.

"Alright, so our final floor. The doors on the left are the dance studios where you will have your dance training. There are three doors on the right. The first one, is a recording studio. The second one, is a production studio. The third one, is the cafeteria. Lots of food, and lots of drinks."

I looked in amazement. This building looked so much bigger on the inside than the outside. I always was tripped out by buildings like that. He showed us the cafeteria, the recording studio, then the production studio.

When we were in the production studio, Yoongi's eyes lit up. "I spent a lot of time here," he explained, his accent was more pronounced than some of the others. "This was where I produced my entire album. He ran his fingers lightly over the keys of the piano in the center of the room.

"This is where Yoongi will teach you about music production. He's going to be your best bet when it comes to making music." I felt a slight jab at Jin's words, considering the fact that Snow and I wrote all of our songs but, I decided not to cause problems cause I'd be learning from Agust fucking D. I got no problems.

"He's helped write a lot of our music. He's really good," Jin praised. I smiled and nodded. I don't know why it's so hard for me to talk right now but I'm just getting by with nods and smiles so it works. "Let's go look at the dance studios."

We walked out of the room and followed him into the middle studio. There was a huge wall of just mirrors, on the other side were a few doors, which he later told us were where people would keep a change of clothes and one was a bathroom with a shower.

"Hey, Taehyung," Snow called, he looked at her with raised eyebrows. "You look like you could use a shower; Koda could too!" she pushed me towards him. I turned and growled at her.

"Did you just say that I smell?" I growled. She laughed and Namjoon blushed and laughed, his perfect dimples coming out. I turned so red.

"Okay," Jin piped up, interrupting my anger. "Now that we're here. We want to see what you're made of."

"We've seen you perform at award shows, but we want to see it in person," Namjoon agreed. Snow smiled.

"What song would you like to see?" she asked. J-Hope looked at Namjoon and they smiled at each other.

"You choose. Give us something juicy." I looked at Snow and we smirked at each other. Challenge accepted.

"Alright. Dance or sing?"

"Dance." I nodded.

"Where is the aux cord?" J-hope pointed at Jungkook over at the side of the room at the stereo, holding the cord. I walked over and he gave me the cord. Our hands touched and I went bright red. I swear, red is my new skin color. I'm officially no longer white.

I plugged in my phone and put on 'Lights down low' by Pullout. Snow and my favorite dance song. We took our positions, me facing the mirror, her facing the doors, her arm resting on my shoulder. The dance we do for this song is very sexual with gyrating and touching, and general slutiness.

We started the dance and all of the nerves disappeared and my face became that of determination. I noticed that their eyebrows would randomly shoot up when we did something overtly sexual in the dance, like sliding on the ground with our asses in the air. It was entertaining.

Once the song ended, they started clapping. "Impressive," J-hope praised. I tried not to have my mouth gape. He was one of my dancing idols and to be told I'm even 'okay' by him was absolutely amazing.

"Well," Jin started. "That seems like it's enough for today." He turned to the members. "We need to go get ready for our flight."

"It was great meeting you guys!" Namjoon said, speaking for the first time. I smiled and nodded.

"We'll see you guys next week! Have fun and explore during your free time. Once training starts, you won't have that much free time," Jimin explained as they were walking out the door. "I'm sure that your bodyguard is downstairs. See you!" Oh my dear, sweet, fucking lord, he is sexy as all hell.

"Have a nice trip!" Snow exclaimed, waving at them. She turned to me when they left the room. "Did you see how half of them were staring at you like you were roast beef?" I shook my head. "Oh my god, they were practically eye-raping you."

"They were not. You need to get your head screwed on straight," I retorted. She rolled her eyes. "We need to get to the hotel. I can smell myself. Ew."


	3. Chapter 3

"We need to find something to do. Without the boys to entertain us, I'm bored as hell," Snow complained. I nodded in agreement, staring at instagram, hoping for something to cure my boredom. My brain lit up as I stood from the chair and walked into the room. "Where are you going?"

"I met this girl at the bookstore when we first got here. She said that if we wanted a tour guide to call her." I could practically hear her eyebrow shooting up.

"Oooh, does Mister Koda have himself a little girlfriend?" she teased. I narrowed my eyes. Snow and I have a deal that in order to keep from slipping up that unless absolutely necessary we do not call each other our real names.

There are only a few people on our team who actually know what our faces look like and what our real names are. That way if we want to disappear, we won't be bothered by anyone for as long as we need. It's a good plan for the most part.

"Do not make me throw things." She laughed. I growled. "No, Sooyoung is her name and she seems awesome."

"Well then, call her up. I'll change." I grabbed the paper from my jacket and texted the number.

**Me**

Hey! This is Koda. 

This is Sooyoung, right?

**Sooyoung** **\- Bookstore**

Yup! This is me. What's up. 

Needing that tour guide? Haha

**Me**

I do actually. Are you free today?

**Sooyoung - Bookstore**

I get off work in about an hour if you want to meet at the bookstore. Is Snow coming with?

**Me**

Yes, she is. And awesome. Sounds like a plan. We'll see you then

I placed my phone back in my pocket and started to get ready. I took a shower and put on my Koda costume.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sooyoung!" I called, seeing her walk out of the store. She looked up and smiled.

"Hey, guys!" She walked over to us and extended her hand to Snow. "Hi, I'm Sooyoung."

"I'm Snow. It's nice to meet you." They shook hands. "Your English is flawless. Did you live in America for a while?"

"I was born in Busan, studied in Canada and moved here a few years ago. My English name is Stephanie if that's easier for you." Snow smiled.

"Sounds good to me," she chuckled. "So, have you been around here for long?"

"I've lived here for about two years and I've learned the ins and outs of this place. It's got a bit of history here. I like it."

"I can't wait to see it. Let me buy you food for taking us out," I offer. She smiles and nods.

"Sweet. There is a place we can take the train from here. Do you guys have a T-Money card?" Snow and I looked at each other confused. Stephanie smiled. "It's a prepaid card you can use for the train. You can get one at any 7-Eleven. They're cheap and they're really good to have while you're in Korea."

"Alright. I'm ready to go whenever you are!" She turned on her heels and started walking. "So, the T-Money card is for transportation or just the subway?"

"You can use it for the subway or the bus. It doesn't really matter and it's reloadable so you don't have to worry." I nodded. Interesting. We stopped at the 7-Eleven down the road and picked up two T-Money cards then went to the nearest subway entrance which wasn't too far.

She brought us to the subway and we rode it to Dongdaemun station where we got off. It wasn't a long ride, thankfully, because we had to stand the whole time. I'm lazy so I don't like effort--says a professional performer.

Once we got there, we walked past a bank to a place called Lotteria. She explained that it was a fast food place but she really likes it. It was the first thing she ate when she came to Korea. The food was very interesting. We laughed a lot and shared stories of our childhood. Stephanie and us got very close during that meal.

My phone went off and I checked it; it was a message from Bang PD.

**방PD**

Koda, download the KakaoTalk app so that the boys can talk to you. Let me know your usernames.

I showed the message to Stephanie. She explained that KakaoTalk was a messaging service because texting is extremely expensive in Korea. Snow and I both downloaded the app, creating usernames.

**Me**

My username is XXXX and snows is XXXXXX

A few minutes after I sent the message, our phones both started alternating with notifications. '9 new friends!' We opened them and it was BTS. I about hit the floor. I can actually talk with BTS. How many people would kill for this? Wait, nine?

I checked and BangPD and Stephanie both added us. This app is pretty cool, especially because BTS are on it and I'm internally screaming. I'm not gonna message them cause fear and nerves so, it'll be easier to not make a fool of myself.

My phone dinged. My nerves spiked up and I immediately got nauseous. Please don't be them, please don't be them. PLEASE!? I checked the screen.

1 new message

From:  **Kookie ^_^**

Hey, Koda! Finally got Kakao, huh?

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shitballs. Fuck. I could feel my face get ridiculously red. I looked at Stephanie who had a devilish grin on her face. I looked at Snow and she just smirked at me.

"Who was that from? Someone hot?" Snow asked. I put my face in my hands. Stephanie grabbed the phone and stared at it, smirking.

"So, Koda, whose Kookie?" Stephanie asked. My face felt like it was on fire, so much that I felt tears spring to my eyes out of embarrassment. "That wouldn't happen to be a bunny boy from a certain world famous group, would it?" I grabbed my phone back from her.

"Yes. It is."

"Why are you a tomato? Do you, dare I say, like him," Snow teased. I sighed and stared at the two laughing women in front of me. Yes. I am attracted to him. So what? "Are you going to respond or do you want me to?" she asked, grabbing at my phone, playfully.

I clutched the phone hard to my chest. "Yes. I will answer him. Thank you very much." I unlocked my phone and went to the chat. My hands were shaking from nerves. Stop being so stupid. Just answer him, dumbass.

**Kookie ^_^**

Hey, Koda! Finally got Kakao, huh?

**Me**

Yeah, haha..

Okay, the hard part is over. It's done. We spoke, I'm over it. My stomach hurts. I put my phone face down and go back to sipping my soda. The girls looking at me expectantly. My phone rang again. Dammit all to a fiery hell in Montana. I opened my phone again.

**Kookie ^_^**

So what are you thinking about Korea so far?

**Me**

It's pretty cool. One of my friends I met

yesterday is giving me a tour around here

**Kookie ^_^**

Already made a friend in Korea?

That's awesome! We just got to LAX.

The flight was long >.<

**Me**

Awe, that's no fun. But, yes, I made a

friend and she is absolutely awesome.

**Kookie ^_^**

Don't forget you have 7 more to entertain

Don't go forgetting about us now :P

I put my phone down trying to breathe. He just called us friends. As in, I, Koda Cortez, am friends with B.T.-Fucking-S. His English surprised the hell out of me. We barely even spoke yesterday. I didn't realize I was zoning out till I noticed Snow's hand waving across my face.

"Squirrel?" she asked.

"Squirrel," I agreed.

"Banoodle!" we both yelled. Causing people to look at us weird. Oh god, we're those weird and loud foreigners. Crap. Ah well, I'll be more careful next time.

**Me**

As if I could forget you guys if I tried

Haha :P

**Kookie ^_^**

Good!

"Okay. Convo is over. I can breathe again," I sighed. That surprisingly made me exhausted. Stephanie giggled, Snow just rolled her eyes.

"This is why we can't have nice things," Snow complained. I just looked at her and laughed. We continued eating before walking back to the train to bring us back to Gangnam.

Once we got back to our city, Stephanie showed us where they shot a few dramas in the area. I hadn't watched any of them but they sounded interesting in essence. She also showed us the popular coffee shops and places to shop. I got some cool mittens and a new a-line jacket.

It was about eight-thirty when we finally got back to the hotel. Stephanie left when we got here to go to her house. We got to the stairs and I sighed, tired from walking around all day. "I cannot wait to get into a hot bubble bath."

"Don't you mean a hot bunny bath?" she snickered. I stared at her.

"Child, I will start throwing things," I warned, playfully.

"Bitch, try me!"

"Hoe!"

"Tramp!"

"Rag!"

"Damn straight!"

"Ew. gross," I chuckled. We both started laughing as we got to our floor. We walked into the hallway and started walking to our room. When we got to the door, there were two baskets in front of our door. "What are those?"

Snow picked one up with a card on it and started reading. "To our new friends. We can't wait to work with you. Signed, your amazing mentors, BTS." Snow rolled her eyes and smiled. "They are a bunch of interesting boys, that much is for sure."

I giggled and grabbed the other basket. We opened the door and walked inside to our suite. We opened the baskets. It was filled with a bunch of Korean snacks, fragrant body wash, bubble bath, shampoo, and lotions. "They're sweet. They didn't have to do this." I held up a bag of gummy candy.

"Koda," Snow warned. I groaned.

"I'm fine. I have my insulin so I won't have a problem. I will also make sure it's only in moderation." She nodded and went back to looking through her basket.

"I'm surprised Jin didn't put a signed- Ohp, there it is!" she said, pulling out a signed picture of Jin from her basket. I just rolled my eyes. That doof. He's cute though so it's okay. She put the picture on the table and put her basket on the floor. "So, you're gonna take a bunny- bubble bath?"

"Yes. I'm going to take a bubble bath with the gift from our 'amazing mentors'." I grabbed some clothes and started walking into the bathroom.

"Don't have too much fun. That bottle looks like a dildo," she laughed.

"You're a dildo!" I retorted. She laughed hard. "Don't drown in there."

"I won't," I chuckled. I closed the door to the bathroom and started running the bath. I put the bubble soap in and started checking my phone. I had another message from Jungkook.

**Kookie ^_^**

Did you get the baskets we sent?

I looked at the time. It was 8:45 pm in Seoul so in LA it had to be like 4 am there.

**Me**

I did! Thank you very much!

What are you still doing awake?

Isn't it like 4 in the morning there?

**Kookie ^_^**

It is but I slept too long on the plane.

I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight.

Do you have to be up early tomorrow?

**Me**

I don't. Why, do you need someone to talk to?

**Kookie ^_^**

If you don't mind! Everyone here is asleep.

I'm bored…

**Me**

I can try to entertain you but I'm not much fun.

**Kookie ^_^**

I'm sure you're lots of fun!

Cue a seriously blushing me. Perverted thoughts need to be destroyed.

**Me**

Haha thanks.

I'm totally gonna use that bubble bath.

I was just telling Snow that I wanted one haha.

I turned off the water and made sure it was scalding hot; exactly how I like it. My phone went off again and I read the message.

**Kookie ^_^**

Use it well! :)

Now cue the blush that ravaged my entire body. I am officially a tomato. I stepped in the bath and sat down, letting all my worries wash away. Next week, when the boys come back, we'll start our training. It's hopefully gonna be fun.


	4. Chapter 4

_ He walked up to me, the folded belt in his hand. I tried to crawl away, my arms hurting from the hits. "I'm sorry, Adrian. I didn't mean to make you mad." He smirked and chuckled humorlessly before his expression turned angry. _

_ "Then you shouldn't have." Another hit with the belt. I screamed out in pain. I tried to run away but no matter how fast I crawled, I didn't go anywhere. The belt slapped against my back and another scream left my mouth. _

_ "Please. I love you. Don't do this to me. Please?!" I begged. He rolled his eyes at me. I knew it wasn't going to stop, no matter how much I begged. I knew that it was only going to get worse from here. He unfolded the belt and put the leg through the buckle. _

_ "I love you too," he started. He placed the belt around my neck and started tightening it. "That's why I'm trying to make you better. So you're not such a fuck up!" The belt tightened harder. I couldn't breath. I tried to scream but nothing came out. _

I closed my eyes and opened them to see a disheveled Snow staring at me in fear, holding me by my shoulders. I felt the sweat dripping down my body and the tears drenching my face. "Koda, it's alright. It was just a nightmare. He's not here, I am. Don't worry."

I fell into her arms and started sobbing. That wasn't a nightmare, it was a memory. I couldn't escape him, no matter where I went or what I did. Why wouldn't he just leave me alone and disappear from my memory.

"Don't cry, honey. I'm here. I'll protect you." I could feel Snow shaking even through my own. She always got so angry when she saw me like this. She hated knowing how destroyed and broken I was. Due to that fact, I hated myself more that I made her upset.

"Why won't they stop?" I sobbed into her shoulder. I was still shaking violently and she started rocking my softly from side to side. I knew she didn't know but I just needed some sort of answer to get me through this.

"It's gonna take a long time, honey. I'm so sorry. I wish I could take all the fear and the pain away. You don't deserve this." I knew her words were true, consciously but, subconsciously, I felt that she was wrong. I did deserve this.

I was a horrible person. If I wasn't, he wouldn't have hurt me right? If I was good, then we would have been happy, right? It's because I wasn't good enough, I know that. I could have stopped it if I was better. If I was a better friend, boyfriend, and lover.

She pulled back and looked at my face. "Where are you?"

"Seoul, Korea, in a hotel."

"What is your name?"

"Koda Cortez."

"What is your job?"

"I'm the rapper of a Grammy winning duo called Inamorata."

"Good. Are you okay?" she asked. She was obviously exhausted. I probably scared her again. I felt so bad for her constantly waking up to this and trying to help me through this. I didn't deserve her, she was such an incredible person. I nodded.

"I'll be fine. I'm sorry for waking you again." I was still sniffling but I managed to slow the tear flow.

"Don't apologize. I'm here for you. We're family," she reassured me. I put my head down. I can feel the temptation coming through again. I need her to leave.

"You should go get some sleep. The boys got back tonight. We start our training this morning." She nodded.

"Do you want me to sleep in here with you?" I shook my head.

"No. I'll be okay. I'm gonna use the bathroom to wipe all the sweat off then try and go back to bed. Don't worry. I'll put a comedy movie on and fall asleep listening to that." She smiled at me and ran her hand through my hair.

"Alright. But, if you need anything, and I mean anything, please don't hesitate to tell me. I love you, Koda. Know that I am always here for you no matter what." I gave her a small smile and nodded. She kissed my forehead, stood up, gave me a small smile, and walked out of my room.

I stood up slowly, trying to collect myself, then walked into the bathroom. I looked through the drawers until I found what I was looking for. A razor. I locked the bathroom door and sat on the toilet. I broke apart the plastic and pulled out the thin, sharp razor.

_________________________________

"Koda," Snow asked as she knocked on the door. I turned my head away from the window.

"Come in." She opened the door and walked over to the bed. I could tell she just woke up because her long brown hair was disheveled, she was still in her pajamas, and she looked like she needed coffee. She sat down on the edge, looking at me with tired eyes. My chest felt a stabbing pain knowing that she was exhausted because of me.

"Today is day one of training. Are you ready?" she asked. I gave her a small smile and nodded in agreement. I don't really have an option in the first place, though. I stood up, the pressure off my side causing me to remember the cuts. "Get ready and then we can go, ok?"

I nodded. She walked out of the room and I stood up. After grabbing some clothes, and some bandage wraps I kept tucked inside my suitcase, I took a long, hot shower. The hot water felt amazing and horrible on my skin at the same time. When I walked out of the bathroom, I was ready to go.

Snow came out of her bathroom with her hair done, comfortable clothes, and her mask on. We decided that we would keep our masks on unless absolutely needed to take them off. We didn't need anyone accidentally snapping pictures now do we? She walked up to me, we grabbed our bags, and walked out the door, heading to HQ.

The walk wasn't long to HQ. We were only about a block away. We would have taken the car but it would have been not even a two minute drive so it would have been pointless. After getting to the building, we were greeted by the receptionist. She told us to go to the vocal rooms and meet with the boys.

We walked down the hall to the vocal training room. When we opened the door, we were met with the boys in their very revealing--yet comfortable looking clothes. We're probably gonna have dance practice today too. I hope that I don't get too sweaty, it's gonna hurt.

Only Jin, Jimin, and Yoongi were here. I wondered where Jungkook was. He is the main singer after all, not that I wanted to see him in that kind of situation or clothing but I totally did because DAYUM.

"Hey, guys. Welcome. We were just doing a bit of warm ups before the lesson," Jin said. We nodded and walked over to them., sitting in front of the grand piano in the center of the room.

"Okay, we'll start off then you join in, alright?" Jimin said, with a voice made of damn silk. I got extremely nervous about singing in front of them all of a sudden. I don't usually get stage fright but in front of my idols, apparently I do.

We did the warm ups and then he had us on a sliding scale to check our octave range. Mine was about 4 octaves and Snow's was a six octave range.

"Good," Jimin smiled after the song. It felt like my face turned fifty shades of red when he said that. What the hell is wrong with me? I don't act like this. I turned towards Snow and she just started laughing. I felt a hand touch my side and I jumped in fear and in pain, yelping.

They stared at me in confusion. Snow looked at me accusingly. I just smiled and Jimin bit his lip, looking guilty. "He just freaks out when people touch him," Snow explained. Yoongi nodded.

"We'll be sure to remember that. Sorry, Koda," Yoongi apologized. I gave him a small smile and nodded. Snow sang her song and then he told us we were finished for the day with the vocal training.

"I'm gonna bring you to the dance class. Jungkook and Hobi are waiting for us up there," Jimin explained. He walked out of the room and we followed suit. I remembered that the dance rooms were on the third floor so I walked up the stairs.

When we got to the dance studio, Jungkook and J-Hope were dancing to 'Own It' by Drake. J-Hope was wearing a long, oversized shirt and basketball shorts. Jungkook was wearing a white t-shirt, jeans, and timberlands. He looked hot.

They stopped the song when they noticed us walk into the room. "Hey, guys! You're here." I nodded and closed the door behind me. He walked over to us while J-hope just waved and smiled at us. "Hey, Koda. What did you think of the bubble bath?"

"It was nice. It cleansed all my worries and my stress." Snow scoffed at me before smirking. I glared at her. She smiled at me, sweetly. I turned back to Jungkook who just smiled.

"I'm glad." J-hope walked up and put his arm around Jungkook's shoulder.

"He specifically made sure to pick up the best smelling body wash for you." I tilted my head and looked at Jungkook. He bent his leg back and kicked J-hope in the butt. Snow laughed and Jungkook turned red and looked at the floor.

"Well, I loved it. I actually used it this morning."

"Really?" Jungkook smiled when I nodded.

"It smells amazing. And I told you that I loved the bubble bath when I used it."

"Wait," J-hope started, his eyes narrowing and a smirk crossing his face. He turned to look at Jungkook. "You talked while he was taking a bath."

"Yeah." Jungkook was a beet now. I laughed at how cute he looked. "It was when we got to LA. You were all asleep and he kept me entertained."

"Is that why I kept hearing you giggle from the bathroom?" Snow asked. I bit my lip and looked down.

"Yes."

"You were giggling?" J-hope asked me, amused. I clapped my hands together.

"Okay! Jimin, we should get started right?" I asked, my eyes begging for him to get me out of this situation as fast as possible. He chuckled and nodded.

"Take a seat. We are going to teach you one of our songs today. Since we are just going to be helping you, we won't be with you everyday. Also, your training is going to be different since you already debuted."

"What do you mean different?"

"Well, you're going to also be working, making albums, touring, all of that. It's not going to be like what we do with most trainees. You will also have more days off to help with your schedules while you're here in Korea," Jimin explained.

"We're going to be doing stuff like that here?" Snow asked. "I was under the impression we weren't going to be able to release stuff until after training."

"Nope. You'll still be working as normal, just training to help hone your skills. You don't need the hard preparations for debut since it's already passed." I nodded. It sounds like it's going to be just like back at home. That sounds fun.

We practiced for a few hours and then watched the boys finish their practice. It was so cool to see them dancing to other songs and watching their moves. It made me feel proud to be a fan. I saw J-hope go from J-hope to J- _ Dope.  _ I think I'm gonna like it here.


	5. Chapter 5

"We have a meeting this morning," I explained, walking into Snow's bathroom. She was putting on mascara, her long brown hair put into a tight bun with a pencil sticking out, her glasses sitting on the tip of her nose, her mask fastened into her hairdo.

I looked at her outfit, white button-up blouse, a black pencil skirt, and gorgeous louboutins. She looked like a picture for a naughty-teacher costume. "I'm almost done. Then we can head over." She finished her makeup and made a noise of approval.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I wore a black button up, with fitted black slacks. I checked to make sure my bandages don't make me look like I'm lumpy. My shirt was fitted around my chest but loose around my stomach. You could see my ribs sticking out.

The sad part is, I wasn't underweight, I was actually regular sized, but my ribs were just very extended. I slouched down so that my ribs wouldn't be so visible and walked out of the bathroom with Snow following me.

"Koda," Snow warned. I looked at her and shrugged. "After the meeting, we're going to eat." My face was turned forward as we walked to the door and I stiffly nodded. She thinks I'm not eating again. I ate last night. She shouldn't be so worried.

We were given a ride to HQ, thankfully, because my feet were hurting just looking at Snow's shoes. We went back to the meeting room that we were in when we got there. I opened the door and was disappointed that the boys weren't there. We sat down close to BangPD.

"Good news, kids! Your dorm is finally ready for you! We took the liberty of furnishing it for you as well." I breathed a sigh of relief. It's gonna be nice to actually have a home instead of living out of hotels. "Also, there is an award show called the Melon Music Awards that the boys are going to be on. We would like you to do a collaboration with them, in Korean."

My eyes widened. "Do you really have that much confidence in us?" He smiled and nodded. "Alright. What type of song?"

"It's going to be Best of Me, from their last EP." We both nodded in agreement. We both liked the song so it shouldn't be too difficult. "Since you guys are going to be moving into the dorms, we're gonna forgo training for the next few days. Then we'll get back on schedule."

"Where are the dorms located?"

"They are a few blocks down from here. It's the same one the boys have. They'll be fairly close to you, just in case you need anything."  _ Umm, so the boys are going to be very close....Wonderful. _

"Sounds good to us! Right, Koda?" I nodded, stiffly. This is definitely going to be interesting. I wasn't sure what to say so I just kept nodding throughout the meeting, not really paying attention to what was being said. The only thing that was on my mind was living in a close proximity of BTS.

When the meeting ended, we got into the car where Kristoff was waiting. The driver took us to our new dorm. The outside was giant. It was beautiful. The lobby was equally as beautiful. Kristoff went to the front lady and she smiled and handed him keys. He turned around and handed one to each of us.

"These are for the doors, the elevator has a fingerprint scanner that she is going to program to read your fingerprints right now." The receptionist brought us over and scanned our fingers a couple times. We tried it and it called the elevator. I was amazed at the technology.

Snow got in the elevator with Kristoff but I just settled for the stairs on the other side of the hall. I scanned my fingerprint on the door and it opened. I walked up to the third floor and opened the door. Snow and Kris were waiting for me at one of the doors. I looked at the number. 303.

"'Bout time." Kris teased. I stuck my tongue out at him and he blew me a kiss. I laughed and he unlocked the door. We walked inside and he turned on the lights. Confetti shot around us and I screamed.

"Surprise!" a choir of voices yelled. I looked up and saw all of BTS along with a few other people with party hats on and a large banner that said 'Welcome Home, Inamorata!' I smiled. We walked in and there was a cake on the counter. They all crowded around us, I didn't even pay attention to how the apartment looked.

"Wow, guys. You didn't have to do this!" I squeaked. "This is so sweet of you!"

"Do you not remember what day it is?" I tried to think but nothing came to mind that would require a party. I shook my head and Jimin rolled his eyes. "Your guys' first single was released three years ago today! And, you also have been a trainee with us for about three weeks! It's a celebration!"

My mouth dropped. Has it already been three years? Jungkook came over to me and handed me a glass of what I assumed was champagne. I took it and Snow's face immediately snapped towards me, glaring nervously. I downed it in one chug and placed the empty glass on the counter.

"I'm fine, Snow. I promise. I haven't had a drink in a long time. Tonight is a special occasion! Let's have fun!" I poked her hoping she would smile and she did. She gave me a hug but jolted back when I flinched.

"Sorry."

I shook my head.

"Guys, let's eat some cake and then we're going to take you to the club to celebrate!" Namjoon pushed. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and just shrugged.  _ Why not?! _ We ate the cake, a wonderful cookie and cream cake with chocolate frosting. I hate chocolate but it was amazing.

"Are you guys going to get ready, or what?" Hoseok asked. I nodded then looked confused.

"I think all my clothes are back at the hotel," I mumbled, kind of disappointed. I did want to go out.

"I packed and brought everything here during your meeting." I looked at Kristoff and smiled. His bright smile always made me feel safe and comfortable, something I was not used to feeling at all anymore. I nodded and walked into one of the rooms, it was decked out with all of Snow's stuff so I knew it wasn't mine.

When I found my room, I wasted no time slipping on some black tight jeans, a fitted blue shirt, a black leather jacket with buckles all over it. I tied my hair up into a ponytail and readjusted my mask to make sure it wasn't going to come off. Once I walked out, I met back with the boys.

Jungkook's face got red. Namjoon and Jin stared at me with a smile, Yoongi nodded in approval, and Hobi's face just brightened up.

"Damn, Koda, you look good enough to bend over. Ain't that right, Jungkookie?" My eyes widened and my mouth dropped at Jimin being so blunt and ridiculous. I immediately felt uncomfortable.

"I'm gonna go change." I started to turn and Jimin called my name to make me wait.

"I was just kidding. You do look good though. Everyone is gonna be fawning over you at the club. Best shake that money maker. You haven't had a lot of training with us but you might be able to keep up," Jimin teased with a wink. I growled at him.

"For your information-" I was cut off when V's mouth hit the floor looking at Snow walk out of the bathroom. Her mask was still on, but she was wearing a short red dress with sequins, ankle high stilettos with her name written in them, the ones she was given by Gucci for her birthday last year.

I had seen this outfit before so I wasn't as shocked as the boys were but I still loved it. She was a traffic stopper, that's for sure. She leaned against the hallway and flicked her hair over her shoulder. I looked at Namjoon who was drooling. Jin smacked him. I laughed and so did Snow.

"Wait, come here," I said, looking at Snow with a knowing expression. She smirked and walked over to me, pushing her chest towards me.

"Fix me?" she said in an innocent voice.  _ Hehe watch this! _ I shoved my hand into her dress to readjust her boobs. Namjoon, Taehyung and Jimin looked at me in shock and jealousy. I  _ was  _ doing this just to fuck with them but her boobs actually did look crooked. After making sure they were even, I put my hands down and tuned to the boys.

"Are you ready?" I asked, my voice just as innocent as hers was. They nodded slowly with wide eyes. I gestured to the door and they walked slowly towards the exit. We exited the building and we got into their car.

"There's not enough room for us," Snow pouted. I knew what she was doing. She must have taken a liking to one of the boys and is toying with one of them. I followed her sight to Taehyung. Oooh, she wants V's D in  _ her  _ V. Hehe, punny.

"You can just sit on my lap, Koda," Jungkook said. I looked at him, his eyes widened and he looked totally embarrassed. Jimin elbowed him. "I mean, if you're alright with that."

" **Can you be even more obvious?** " Jimin asked in Korean.  _ Holy shit, I understood that! Go me! Those Korean books are freaking amazing. _ Jungkook elbowed him. I was feeling brave from the champagne I had so I decided to be a flirt.

"Are you sure that you're okay with that, Jungkookie?" I asked, biting my lip. His face went red and Jimin's mouth dropped in a half shocked, half smirk, kind of style. He nodded slowly. I got in the car and sat lightly on his lap, my paranoid ass worried about crushing his legs.

"Can I sit in your lap, Taetae?" Snow asked with an innocent and playful voice. He smirked and nodded. He opened his legs and pointed to his lap. She got in the car super slowly and tried to be sexual. I just stared at her.  _ Really, hon? Really? _

She sat on his lap and moved to pop her back. He jolted. She's trying to challenge me. Challenge is accepted. She grabbed her hair and put it over her right shoulder. She's signalling me that the challenge has been started.

Namjoon closed the door and we left. Jimin said the bar was only about twenty minutes driving. Perfect amount of time. I tilted my head to the right to see the road, because I was in the farthest back seat and my neck popped. I grunted in pain.

"Are you okay?" Jungkook asked. I nodded, trying to pop my back and grinding against him. He jolted a bit and grabbed my thighs to stop me. My heartbeat sped up in fear but I forced myself to keep calm. Nobody will beat me in a competition.

"I'm sorry. My neck just hurts really bad." I groaned and grabbed my neck. I heard him sigh deeply.

"Would you like me to...massage you?" I saw Snow turn towards me and smirk. She thinks she has me so figured out. Ha! I never lose.

"You would do that for me?" I asked, innocently, turning towards him. He smiled and nodded. "That's so sweet of you!" I turned away from him and he started massaging my neck and shoulders. I moaned. Snow looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I smirked then legitimately moaned because it felt so good.

I usually hate people touching me but Jungkook has amazing hands that apparently make me melt. I tilted my head again and saw that we were going to be going over some bumpy road.  _ Ha! Watch this. Fight me, hoe. _ The road started getting bumpy and I started intentionally jolting, rubbing against him. He moaned.

_ Holy shit, that was the sexiest thing I could have ever heard in my entire fucking lifetime. I can die now because I have heard an angel say it's my time. Holy fucking fuckity fuck fuck. _

_ " _ I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" Snow and I asked our guys at the same time. Maybe Taehyung moaned too. Even if he did, Jungkook is still hotter. He put his hands on my waist and I jolted at the pain, grunting but also, unintentionally, grinding into him deeper. He squeezed my sides and tried not to cry. It hurt so bad.

Snow looked at me worried. She can tell when a grunt is painful versus when it's pleasurable. I tried to keep a straight face but Snow could see right through it. "Are you alright?" she mouthed at me.

I gave her a stiff nod, knowing that my voice would betray me. She tilted then twitched her head to the right, our little secret way of 'tell me later?'; I nodded. I tried to force my breathing to still but he was squeezing my bandages and it hurt, really bad.

When we arrived at the bar, I jolted off of him and was the first out of the vehicle. I walked a few steps away to try and clear my head, my hands putting pressure on my sides to try and dull some of the pain. I used my best anxiety technique.

_ 5 things you can see: _

A window

A car

People

A bat

A trash can

_ 4 things you can hear _

Talking

Muted Music

The car engine

Crackling fire

_ 3 Things you can smell _

Fire

Alcohol

Cigarettes

_ 2 things you can touch _

Car

Cement

_ 1 thing you can touch _

My jacket

I was able to calm my breathing and my anxiety slowly started to dissipate. I watched the others get out of the car. Jungkook was the last and the bulge in his very tight black leather skinny jeans was obvious.  _ Oops. My bad. _

I walked over to Snow and held her hand, something I only did when I was on the verge of crying. She looked at me worried. I shook my head signaling that I didn't want to talk about it right now and she nodded. She gave me a small smile and we walked into the club.

My brain told me to start drinking right away so I found the bar and ran over. The bartender said something in Korean that I couldn't understand and he looked up and saw us. His eyes got wide and he switched to English. "What can I get for you?"

"Something strong that will fuck me up as soon as possible."

"Got it!" He started mixing a bunch of things and put it on the table. It was a large drink. I slammed a twenty on the table and told him to keep the change and chugged the drink. "Another?" While he was making the drink, I saw a lot of our dancers in here. A wonderful idea crossed my mind.

I nodded, gave him another twenty, and slammed the drink again. I could feel it fast. It was strong and amazing. It tasted like Iced Tea. "You should probably slow down on those so you don't throw up."

I looked over and saw Yoongi looking at me with an amused expression. I shrugged, put the second empty glass on the counter, and walked over to the dance floor. Everyone was out there dancing. The song was English, which surprised me. The song was 'Evolutionz' by D-Block. I recognized it as Co-Ed's intro song to T-Ara's Lovey Dovey.

Jumping around and having fun, I saw that J-Hope and Jungkook were showing off. I remembered that they made a backhanded comment about our dancing, I looked for Snow. When I found her, she saw me. I slid my pointer finger across my chin, signalling her that I needed her help.

She walked over to me and leaned to my ear so she could talk to me. "What's up?" I smirked.

"Let's give them a show. They should know we don't need any training, right?" She pulled back and gave me a devilish grin. She leaned back in and I proposed the song to her. She smiled and nodded. It was going to be the first time that we ever performed that song in public.

I handed her my phone, after disabling the lock, and she brought it over to the DJ. She whispered in his ear and he nodded and winked at her. She turned to me and tapped her nose, saying the mission cleared. She grabbed two mics off the table and walked back down to me.

The music slowed to a stop and everybody looked to the DJ confused. "Alright everybody!" he started. "We got the Inamorata crew in the house tonight!" Everyone started screaming. A circle formed for us and we smirked, posing for the pictures that everyone was taking. "They're gonna give us a little show. Who. Is. Ready!?"

Everybody screamed again. Our dancers came to the front of the circle and we looked at them, nodding slightly. The song came on, 'Wings' by Little Mix, the Korean version. Our dancers joined us, dancing behind us. Thankfully, we practiced this song with them many times.

We started singing in Korean and everyone looked at us in pure shock. Bet they didn't know that white people could sing in Korean. But, then again, after EXP Expedition, I'm not even a little surprised. BTS, I think, was the most surprised. Usually, I'm nervous singing in front of them even in English, but I was too intoxicated to care at this time.

We were dancing our hearts out and singing as hard as we could. Everyone around us was dancing and screaming for us. Snow looked at me, pointed at the ceiling and then at me, telling me I was doing the high note. I prepared and pulled it off. I had never practiced but it worked out better than expected.

My eyes kept going back to the BTS boys that were staring at us in complete confusion. They knew our songs, yes. But, they didn't know we could sing in Korean so, I think they were a little surprised. When we finished the song, everyone kept shouting, "Encore".

We decided to do another song, one that would get the best reaction out of them. While Snow ran back up to the DJ, I started speaking to the club people, in English of course; my Korean is not as up to par as it should be for living here.

"This next song is dedicated to someone special in my heart." I winked at BTS and they raised their eyebrows. 'DNA' by Little Mix started playing. Snow took her place and so did our dancers. Thankfully, we practiced a lot of our favorite songs, just in case we did them in a concert or something.

While we were performing, BTS couldn't keep their eyes off of us. Once it got to the harmonizing part of the song, their mouths dropped.  _ Ha. Don't underestimate us.  _ The dance was very sexual where the male dancers, specifically Tarin and James, were touching us very inappropriately.

When the song ended, the regular music started back up and the crowd bum-rushed us. We smiled and gave them autographs and pictures. After the craziness calmed down, I walked back over to the boys. "Still need training, huh?" I asked Hoseok. He shook his head and smiled.

"Okay, we get it. You're good. Can we just dance and have fun now?" Jin asked. Snow laughed and I nodded. An EDM song came on and we all started dancing. I had a few more drinks, not knowing how drunk I'd actually end up.

I looked over and Jimin was grinding on Jungkook who was drinking heavily, Jin and Namjoon were being super sexual, and Taehyung and Snow were grinding on each other. I was dancing, having fun and Yoongi appeared in front of me, grinding with a smirk on his face.

He looked into my eyes, obviously intoxicated. I kept dancing because I didn't care at that moment. He placed his hands on my shoulder and I felt someone behind me. I turned to look and see Hoseok. His hands on my ass and Yoongi's on my thigh as he grinded on my leg.

"Come back with us," Hoseok invited. I grunted softly in response as he bit my ear lobe. I knew that tomorrow was going to be super awkward if I went through with whatever was going to happen but I didn't even care.

They grabbed my hands and we walked out to the exit. I didn't even pay attention if anybody even noticed that we were leaving. All I knew is that tonight, even if just for a couple hours, someone was going to care about me.

We walked back outside to one of the cars that were waiting for us. I didn't even care that these were different cars, I just wanted to get back. We were slowly feeling each other up during the ride back to the dorms, which, surprisingly, felt like only a minute.

When we got back to the dorm, we stumbled inside. Holding onto each other for support. The front desk lady obviously has seen this before because she ran over to the elevator to call it for us. We got inside and Hoseok pressed the button; I was too preoccupied with Yoongi kissing my neck.

I felt the elevator jolt into motion, not caring as I switched to rubbing Hoseok's chest, pulling his shirt from his jeans and sliding my hands all over his smooth chest. Yoongi had his hands roaming around from my neck to my ass. I moaned and leaned my head back, giving Hoseok an opportunity to attack my neck.

A long groan emitted from my throat and I heard Yoongi chuckled as Hoseok ravaged my neck. Yoongi tugged lightly on my ponytail to let me head fall farther back, giving Hobi even more access.

When we got to the fourth floor, we exited the elevator, stumbling towards their dorm. I was stumbling but the other two seemed perfectly fine. We got to their door and they opened it. Once we were inside, Yoongi went over and put Selena Gomez's song 'wolves' on the stereo.

Hoseok was behind me, rubbing my stomach and his hand sliding down towards the front of my pants. I moaned and he rubbed harder. I could feel my pants tightening. The feeling radiating over my body.

Yoongi came over slowly, grabbed my hand, and led us to his room. I knew what was going to happen. The alcohol in my body was telling me to enjoy this and not to freak, so that's exactly what happened. I started rubbing Yoongi's neck and chest. He moaned as my fingers touched his neck.

He removed his t-shirt and Hoseok followed suit. Yoongi put his hands at my shirt and jumped his eyebrow to ask permission. I shook my head. "But why? I want to see you."

"Trust me. You don't." He slid his hands up my shirt while I was moaning about Hoseok attacking my neck again. I could tell he was feeling the bandages. He removed his hands from my shirt and placed a hand on my face.

"I'm gonna make sure you feel so good that you never want to do this again," he promised. I was too drunk to even care that he felt them. Hoseok stopped kissing my neck and looked at Yoongi. Yoongi looked at him and tilted his head, nodding as if he was telling him what he felt.

"And I'm gonna make you cum so hard that you can't walk for a week," Hoseok moaned in my ear. He started grinding on me, letting me feel his bulge on my ass. He started biting my ear, while unbuttoning my pants. I leaned into him and started grinding.

A growl came from Hoseok's throat. His body vibrated. Yoongi growled and started attacking my neck. I could do nothing but mewl as I had both boys pleasuring my neck and ear while Hoseok had his hand stroking my length.

Hoseok lifted my shirt, I didn't care, I let it come off of me. I knew that my entire chest looked like I got into a gang fight but I knew that they didn't care. They touched my bare skin, Hoseok kissing my back, Yoongi touching my bandages lightly.

I felt Hoseok fist my hair. "Who's gonna be a good boy for daddy?" I moaned and he pulled my hair a little harder. "That's not an answer, is it?" I shook my head. "Look at your daddy in front of you. Touch him." I reached my hand out and touched Yoongi's chest, lightly rubbing it while he moaned at my touch. "That's not what I mean," he whispered in my ear.

He grabbed my hand off Yoongi's chest and guided it down to his pants. He placed my hand on his very obvious hard-on. I started rubbing it and he grinded into my hand. I grunted and bit my lip. Hoseok got close to my ear again, nibbling at the skin. Yoongi's face looked directly at me.

"Get ready to be pounded like you never have been before." I moaned hearing those words.

"Make daddy proud," Hoseok moaned to me.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up with a slight pounding in my head, not remembering much of what happened last night. I opened my eyes and saw a room that was definitely not mine.  _ Where the fuck am I? _ My body started to shake. I got out of the bed and realized that I was only in an undershirt and boxers.

I felt pain in my butt, back, neck, and chest. What the hell happened last night. Was I attacked or something? No. I'd probably be in the hospital or something. I need to find my clothes.

My clothes were all over the floor. I started picking them up and putting them back on. There was a large mirror on the closet and I walked over to it. My hair was disheveled--as it usually is in mornings--and my neck was totally bruised.

I looked around to see if I could find something to figure out where I was. He couldn't be here, he wouldn't find me, would he? I started shaking harder in fear. I was with the boys and Snow. They wouldn't let some random person take me, would they?

After looking around, I found nothing that would tell me where I was. I slowly opened the door and walked out into the hall. The hallway looked like my dorm but backwards. Am I at the boys' place? I walked towards where I thought the kitchen was to find Yoongi and Hoseok eating breakfast.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Yoongi smirked, taking a sip of coffee. I looked at them confused. Hoseok was eating cereal and just gave me a nod. I immediately feel like I did something I'll regret.

"Umm...Morning? What am I doing here?" Hoseok looked at Yoongi, who raised an eyebrow at me.

"You don't remember last night?" I shook my head. "Pity. We fucked you good." My mouth dropped.

"You what me what?!" I squeaked. Hoseok leaned back in his chair, looking at the ceiling.

"You heard him. We fucked you three ways from Sunday." I was going to talk but I was impressed by the analogy he used, so I just stood there. "I gotta say, you take it like a champ." My face officially had turned from tomato to neon sign.  _ Oh dear god. _

Yoongi looked at me sternly. "We also replaced your bandages." My stomach hit the floor.  _ They saw. _ "On your sides."

"And your legs," Hoseok said, mouthful of cereal. I felt tears start to form in my eyes. I looked down and Hoseok stood up and walked over to me.

"Please, don't tell anyone. I'm trying to stop. I promise," I begged, tears slowly falling down. I knew they were going to be mad at me. Yell at me for being so stupid. Tell BangPD and I was going to be sent to a mental institution.

Hoseok lifted my chin up, seeing the tears falling, he embraced me in a tight hug. My eyes widened. Yoongi came over and joined the hug. "I understand, Koda. I promise you that you're gonna be okay."

The tears wouldn't stop falling after that. I cried harder. Yoongi walked me over to the couch and sat me down while Hobi walked into the kitchen. I tried hard to collect myself. When the tears slowed down, Hoseok came out and handed me a cup of coffee.

I thanked him and he sat down on the other side of me. "Are you ok?" Hobi asked. I nodded my head. "Can I ask why you did it?" I thought for a second. We probably didn't have enough time for me to explain the problems and why I am the way that I am.

"There's not a lot of time for me to explain what happened." He nodded. Yoongi put his hand on my back and I jumped. He gave Hobi a knowing look and they turned back to me.

"Well, I know that you may not want to but, when we do have time, I want to know. Then I can also explain to you why I have scars too," Yoongi explained. I looked at him and he pulled his sleeves up to reveal faded scars lining his entire arm.  _ He does know how bad it is then. _

"I promise. I will tell you what is going on when we have a few hours to talk." They nodded.

"We need to get ready because we have a fan meeting. But, when we're done, we'll text you, ok?" Hobi promised. I nodded, standing up.

"I should probably get back too. Snow is probably freaking out." Yoongi bit his lip.

"She knows where you are." I looked at him. "I told her last night that you were staying over. We're only on the fourth floor so your dorm is right below us."

At least I wasn't far from home. Thank the sweet lord Jesus. I nodded and went towards the door. "We'll text you later. Please answer," Hoseok asked. I looked back to him, gave him a small smile, and nodded. I walked out the door and over to where the stairs were.

While I was walking down the stairs to the third floor, memories flowed back from the previous night. I started to remember everything, including getting double teamed by Sope. Oh my god, I slept with two members of BTS. Holy shit.

I walked into the dorm and saw Snow in the kitchen. I could hear her smirk when she spoke. "How was last nigh-" she stopped talking when she saw my face. She walked over to me. "Oh my god. Are you OK? Why were you crying what happened? Did they hurt you?"

I shook my head and gave her a small smile. "They just played their song Spring Day for me and it made me think of 'Banoodle', and I couldn't handle it." Her expression darkened slightly.

"I hate that trash bag," she grunted. I sighed deeply.

"There is no reason to. He didn't love me back. That's not his fault that he's not gay or likes me," I explained. She looked at me incredulously.  _ Uh oh. Here it comes. _

"That asshole led you on for years. Doing and saying things that would make you believe that he actually loved you back, just to disappear on you? He's a cunt." I do  _ not _ want to have this conversation after what just happened.

"I know he upsets you. But, it's over with. Yes, it does still hurt but it's good to cry over something that's not...you know who." She nodded and looked down.

"I'm so sorry that you're hurt. I wish I could take the pain away." Tears sprung to my eyes, seeing her upset because of me. I shook my head and closed my eyes.

"There is nothing that could have been done. I'm dealing with it in my way and I'm trying to move past it. He can't hurt me anymore and I have to keep telling myself that," I explained. She nodded and looked at me.

"Well, just remember, if you see him again, you call me and I cut his dick off before skinning him with a potato peeler." My face scrunched up at the visual that hit my brain. But I nodded. "Let's go out today."

"Where?"

"Anywhere. We live here now. Let's go explore, as us!" I looked at her confused. She smiled. "As our real selves. No masks, no wigs, no names." I thought it over for a second. We really haven't been out of our masks--besides sleeping and showering--for a long time. It'd be nice to be me again.

"Let's do it," I finally agreed. She squealed and ran off to her room. I walked over to mine and went to find something to wear. It didn't take long till I found the main thing I went in to look for. My real clothes, clothes that Koda wouldn't wear. I grabbed some jeans because it was too cold for basketball shorts, a long sleeve broncos shirt, and some cowboy boots.

"Are you ready?" Snow asked, knocking on my door. I told her I was and walked out of the room. It was kind of weird to see her without her mask. I almost forgot what her soft features looked like because we're always in costume. "What's your name this time?"

I thought it over for a minute before choosing a name. "Cayden or Lee Chanho." It's an interesting name that could work. "What is yours?"

"Alexa or Shin Hyomin." I nodded. Alexa is a good name. It works. I wonder if we're going to even have to use them. Part of me wanted to use Link as my name but I didn't say it because it's a little too obvious that it's fake. We never use our real names, just in case somebody recognized us by our voices or something.

"Sounds good. Let's get going." She nodded and we grabbed our stuff and walked out of the building. We walked over to the stairs and headed to the lobby. We walked out of the building and decided to take a left.

We had no idea where we were going but we didn't care. We wanted to learn our new place. Thankfully, due to our living in Korea, I've been studying really hard with Korean. I learned words and phrases that will help us get around. Snow has also been studying hard.

Snow and I walked around, checking out different shops and restaurants. I picked up a couple gifts for Yoongi and Hoseok for taking care of me this morning. I remembered that they had a fan meeting today and turned to Snow. "Hey, we should give these to the boys at their fan meeting."

"They have no idea what we look like out of costume." I smirked, nodded and winked at her. She gave me a sly look, remembering that I bought some things at a nearby sex shop. This was going to be fun as hell.

We walked over to their fan meet which was around ten minutes away by foot. We walked inside the building. 'BTS - Room #14' a sign directed us. We walked to the door and stepped inside. Waiting in line took a long time but when we got to the table where all of them were waiting, we decided to be sneaky, not that we needed to be or anything because we were out of costume.

We stepped in front of Jin. "How are you today?" he asked with his Worldwide Handsome smile. I smirked.

"Incredible. Would you sign my love Yourself album?" He nodded and smiled. He signed the album and handed it back to me. "Also, Namjoon and you looked really hot at the club last night," I winked. He looked at me confused and kind of concerned. I moved to the next member, Jimin.

"Well, Hello there." He winked at me. He was such a flirt. I decided to flirt back.

"Now, now. I'm sure Jungkook wouldn't appreciate you flirting with the fans, now would he?" He looked at me like he recognized my voice, panic ensued my heart. I winked at him and walked to the next person, Yoongi.

"Koda," he said. My eyes widened.  _ How the hell did he know? I woke up with my mask on. I don't think he would have taken it off or anything.  _ "What are you doing here?"

I quickly regained my composure. I wasn't going to lie to him so I just put the present on the counter for him. He looked inside and his face got super red seeing the masturbator in the bag. "Just in case you or Hobi needed a reminder of me." I winked and he chuckled.

"Don't think you're getting out of tonight because of this." I shook my head.

"That's not what I was trying to do. I will be there tonight. I just wanted you to have something to hold on to once I leave." He shook his head and laughed.

"Why would I need that when you're on the floor right beneath me?" I internally shuddered.

"Because what happened last night, may never happen again, better to be prepared." He laughed and grabbed my hand.

"Will you please come over tonight so that we can talk?" I nodded, smiling. Snow looked at me confused. I just shrugged. We walked through till we reached Hoseok.

"I didn't expect to see you here. What's up?" he asked. Of course he knew what I looked like too. I had to have taken my mask off at some point during our...encounter.

"I brought you a present." I placed the bag on the counter. He looked inside and his eyes widened. "It's just so you can remember me." I winked. His face turned serious.

"Why do I need something to remember you? You're not going anywhere, right?" I realized that he probably took that the wrong way. I shook my head.

"Just because of last night. Yoongi made me promise to meet with you guys tonight and I do not break promises." He nodded and breathed a sigh of relief. These guys legit thought I was going to kill myself.

Yes. I do hurt myself, but that's only because I deserve it. Dying is not in my schedule. I don't have time for that shit. "I'm alright, Hoseok. I promise." I placed my hand on his and he turned his hand and grasped mine.

"So you are coming over tonight?" I nodded and he sighed again. He gave me a small smile and nodded.

"Good. I was worried I was gonna have to drag you by your ear." I laughed. He signed my copy of their album and I went to the next person, Jungkook. He smiled at me from ear to ear, his face turning red.

"Hello." I smirked at him, his face turned even more red than before. "Would you like me to sign this?" he asked, holding up the album I brought with me. He gave me a large smile and signed the album.

I looked at the album and it said, "To a super cutie, Jungkook." I blushed and looked at him. He smiled and looked down at the table. Since he was at the end of the line, I wrote something for him and left the album with him, winking as I left.

The album had all their signatures. I wrote, "Give this to your boyfriend Koda. He needs some love from you. -Cayden" I looked back and saw his shocked face. That made me laugh hard. We left the building and walked around for another few hours. My phone vibrated. I pulled it out of my pocket and read the message.

**MinSuga:**

What did you say to Jungkook?

I could hear him jacking off in the bathroom at the end

Of the meet.

**Me:**

I just signed the album back and told him to give it to his boyfriend Koda.

**MinSuga:**

You're a dork.

You know that right?

**Me:**

Possibly.

**MinSuga:**

We're leaving here in twenty minutes.

Meet us at our apartment?

**Me:**

Sounds good.

After we got back to the dorm, I changed into some comfortable sweats and a large t-shirt, put on my wig, and my mask. I walked back up to their dorm and waited outside for them. I was a few minutes early to them getting back. I leaned against the wall, playing on my phone until I heard the elevator ding, signaling that they were home.

The boys walked out into the hallway looking tired. Hobi, Yoongi, and Jimin were the only ones who didn't look exhausted. Jungkook's eyes lit up when he saw me. He immediately walked over to me. "Hey, Koda."

"Hey, Kookie," I squeaked. He looked nervous. I decided not to question it. He handed me a wrapped gift. I took it with a confused expression. He blushed hard.

"Don't open it until you get home," he asked. I nodded. He walked past me towards his dorm. I wonder who he rooms with. Probably Jimin, of course. Jimin walked to the room he went into and walked inside. Giving me a wink before he closed the door.

Yoongi walked over to me and I followed him to his door. I thought that all of BTS shared the same dorm but, apparently not. I walked inside and Hoseok walked inside behind me. He closed the door and I walked to the couch to sit down.

Yoongi sat at a chair close to the door and Hoseok went into the kitchen. "Are you hungry?" I shook my head. I ate a few days ago, I'm fine. "Too bad, you're eating."

"I'm alright." Yoongi narrowed his eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"When was the last time you ate?" he asked me.  _ Shit. _

"This morning," I lied. He looked at me and narrowed his eyes.

"Who did you eat with?"

"Snow."

"Really?" he asked, pulling out his phone. "That was the last time you ate?" I nodded.  _ Oh no.  _ "She said the last time you ate together was three days ago." I widened my eyes.  _ Of course she would tell the truth. Damn it, you're supposed to be on my side.  _ "Sit down."

I went to protest but Hoseok came over and grabbed my butt. "Do as daddy tells you, honey." I walked over to the table and sat down.

Hoseok looked at me with hooded eyes. I tried to keep my eyes off of him. I could feel myself tightening in my jeans, just because of his gaze.  _ What the fuck? I'm Ace as hell. I don't feel sexual attraction. What the fuck is going on? _

Yoongi brought food over, placing a plate in front of me, Hoseok and his chair. He also placed a glass of champagne in front of me. I downed it in one go. I looked at the food and felt nauseous.  _ You don't deserve to eat. You need to lose weight, you fat ass. _ My brain was screaming at me not to eat, so I just stared at the food.

"Eat, or I will force feed you my cock." I looked at him and smirked before placing my fork down, testing him. He smirked.

"Eat," Hoseok growled. I picked up my fork and took a small bite of the chicken in front of me. It took a second but I managed to swallow it. "Eat all of it and we won't tease you too much tonight."

"Am I making daddy angry?" I asked, a sensual tone to my voice. Yoongi smirked.

"No. You're making me impatient. You're going to eat when we tell you to eat. If you don't, we'll make sure that everyone watches you eat so we can keep track of you," Yoongi explained. My eyebrow raised and he smiled at me.

"Don't make me be rough with you. You know that I will!" Hoseok looked at Yoongi and smirked. He tuned to me, his eyes telling me that he was turned on.

"You were such a good boy when I was thrusting deep in your throat," Hobi started. My eyes widened. "Don't make me get violent."

"Are you gonna punish me, sir?" I could hear him growl. I was getting to him and he knew it. My stomach started flipping in anticipation. I decided to mess with them just a little bit. I ate another bite of chicken, moaning as I swallowed. "It feels so good sliding down my throat."

Yoongi grunted involuntarily. Good, I'm glad that I was able to affect him the way that I could. I took another bite and moaned sensually, arching my back.

"It's so good. There is nothing better than feeling is slide slowly down my throat. The satisfaction and pleasure," I moaned. Hoseok growled before standing up. He walked over to me.

"You want something in your throat that's satisfying? Let me show you what's satisfying." He started slowly unzipping his jeans. I pushed his hands away, unbuttoning his jeans. Yoongi stood up and walked over to me. He pulled my hair so I was looking up at him.

"Yes, sir? I'm just pleasing my master," I explained while rubbing him through his boxers. He was hard. No wonder my ass hurt, he was thick. I bet he was good at pounding one out.

"Daddy says that you need to do as you're told." I slowly stopped touching Hobi. He grunted in displeasure.

I turned to him, then started palming him through his pants. He grabbed my hand. "Eat, Koda. Once you finish, then I will destroy you," he promised. I bit my lip and looked at him through my eyelashes.

"Yes, sir." Hoseok groaned but went back to his seat. I ate and finished my dinner. I looked at them both, smirking. "I thought that would fill the emptiness that I have inside me, but it didn't work. Can you think of anything that would help?"

They had already finished their food and were looking at me like I was a desert they haven't had in twelve years. I stretched my back and moaned. Trying to egg them on to do something. They've already seen my cuts, might as well get some pleasure out of it.

"Ugh, I need someone to help with my back. It hurts. I think I need an adjustment," I moaned. Yoongi stood up, grabbing me by my hair, he pulled my head back.

"Don't tease us like that unless you're ready to face the consequences," Yoongi crooned. "I don't think you can handle what is in store for you, boy."

I turned and put my spread legs on the table and groaned in mock pain. "Ugh, it hurts. I need someone to pound it. My back is so sore, I need to feel good" I grunted, looking directly into Hobi's eyes as I started rubbing my chest.

I turned to look at Yoongi, biting my lip as I saw him breathing heavily. "How can we help, dear sweet boy?" he asked, standing up and coming over, sliding his hand on my cheek. I moaned. I started rubbing him through his jeans.

"Put it in me."


	7. Chapter 7

This was the second time that I woke up in their room. I still didn't know whose room this was. Either Yoongi's or Hoseok's but I didn't care. The bed was comfy. Both of them were still asleep.

Now, not only does my butt hurt but my throat does too. They weren't kidding about punishing me. It was hot and I loved it. I checked my phone and had a message from Snow.

**Snow**

You do realize that we've had our dorm for two days

And you still haven't slept here?

**Me**

Yes. I do. I will definitely sleep there tonight.

I climbed out of bed, being careful to not make a noise. I threw my clothes back on and made sure my mask was back on. I brushed my hair to make it look somewhat acceptable and walked out to the living room.

My shoes were in the weirdest places. My left shoe was in the sink, and my right shoe was on the tv stand. What the hell? We weren't being that crazy last night...were we?

I walked to the front door and opened it slowly so as not to wake the sleeping Sope. I closed the door slowly until I felt it latch, breathing out a sigh of relief. "Koda?" I jumped and squeaked, turning around to find Jungkook drenched in sweat. "Did you stay the night there?"

He had on a white t-shirt, gray sweats, and running shoes. The shirt was totally see through from the sweat and sticking to his chest, showing off his sculpted-by-the-gods definition. His face looked kind of defeated. "Yoongi, Hoseok and I were talking about the special stage for the MMA's and I fell asleep," I lied. He nodded.

"Sounds good," he mono toned. Shit. He doesn't believe me. His face perked up. "Are you busy in about an hour?" I shook my head. He smiled "I'm going to go grab breakfast, if you want to join me."

I smiled and nodded. "I'd love to."

"Sweet. I'll meet you at your dorm," he promised. Walking into his dorm and giving me a small wave before closing the door. I walked down the stairs. The realization hit me when I walked into the hallway, I'm going to have breakfast with a Kookie. HA!

"Finally, someone is home!" Snow is standing with an apron on at the entrance to the kitchen. I stared at her in amusement. "Where have you been? No note, car gone." I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"I was busy!"

"Fight me, hoe!" I put up my fingers in the shape of a gun.

"I won't hesitate, bitch!" We both started laughing hard. "Anyway, I gotta get ready cause Kookie and I are going out to breakfast. She narrowed her eyes and smirked."

"Awe, does Mr. Cortez want to have some cookie?" My face went red and I just stared at her with an unamused expression. My phone vibrated and it was a message from Jimin.

**Jiminie~**

Can you tell Kookie to calm. The. hell. DOWN?!

I looked at my phone and chuckled. Is him freaking out a good thing or a bad thing? I switched chats to Kookie's.

**Me**

Jimin told me to tell you to calm down.

It took a second to get a reply.

**Kookie**

I don't have a clue what he's talking about

Jimin sent me another message

**Jimin**

Kookie just came and attacked me.

I feared for my life.

I laughed hard. I had just gotten out of the shower when I got the message. Snow knocked on the door, asking me what was so funny. "Jimin had me tell Kookie to calm down and after I did, he went and attacked Jimin." I heard a loud 'HA!'.

**Me**

Kookie, you shouldn't attack your Hyungs!

**Kookie**

Attack? I threw a pillow at the mochi.

**Me**

LOL!

I stopped messaging him so I could finish getting ready. I decided not to dress up too much because I didn't want to seem over excited to be going out even if, on the inside, I was sure that I was having a stroke.

My nerves were a wreck so I put on a funny song to make me laugh. 'Mi Mi Mi' by Serebro was a good one. I walked out of the bathroom twerking to the song and met up with Snow in the kitchen. We both started dancing and acting dumb.

"What time are you leaving?"

"In a few minutes, when he gets here." She nodded, still bouncing around to the song. I grabbed a drink from the fridge and took a swig. There was a knock on the door and I felt my stomach fall out of my ass.

I walked over and opened the door to Kookie looking illegirly delicious. That's not allowed. You're fired. I'm suing you for child support. His hair was slightly parted on the side and he was wearing a blue button up and ripped black jeans and those FUCKING TIMBERLANDS AGAIN.

"Hey, you ready?" I nodded and walked out of the dorm. We walked downstairs and walked a few blocks before arriving at a cute little diner place. Hart2Hart it was called. It was a cute little diner that looked like it was modeled after the fifties in America. We sat down in the booth and ordered our food.

We chatted about the special stage and how much fun it seemed like. We took a couple cute selfies and he ACTUALLY POSTED IT. We got a pretty decent amount of retweets on that one. The caption said, "It's coming." I decided to keep my mouth shut about that one.

"So, we start practicing for it tomorrow, right?" I asked. He nodded and smiled, his mouth was full of food. "We're going to record the backings on Tuesday?" He nodded again. Then grunted, his mouth still filled with food. He swallowed and pulled his phone out.

"I forgot to send this to you. It's going to be your parts of the song. I'll send it to you and Snow." I nodded and my phone chimed. His phone went off and his face lit up. My phone dinged again a second later and I pulled it out.

**BangPD**

Attachment: 1 image.

I'm glad you boys are having fun!

I looked at the picture and it was a picture of all of us at the club the other day on the front of some magazine. The caption was "BTS & Inamorata let loose during their crazy schedules." He also sent some other pics from when we were performing for BTS and also more of us dancing.

"That was so fun," Kookie crooned. I smiled at him, a little pang remembering how 'close' him and Jimin got.

"Yeah, you and Jimin seemed to be having a lot of fun." His face got red.

"As did you, Yoongi, and Hobi," he retorted.

"What can I say? Once you get your hands on me, it's hard to take them off," I teased. He chewed his cheek and nodded.

"I may have to test that theory." My eyes widened and I smiled nervously. I decided to push him farther.

"Well, whenever you're ready." I winked. His mouth opened slightly then closed. I decided to then change the subject since the air got kind of awkward. "So, have you heard any of our songs before?"

He nodded. "I have. 'Reverb' is my favorite," he explained. My eyebrows shot up. That was one of our first singles.

"Really?"

"Absolutely. I actually recorded a cover with Suga and wanted to ask your permission to upload it."

"Absolutely. I can't wait to hear it!" I got very excited at the thought that he was going to be doing one of our songs. His voice is absolutely heavenly. My phone went off and I grabbed it, thinking it was Snow but it was a message from Suga.

**MinSuga**

You sly bitch.

**Me**

What do you mean?

**MinSuga**

Don't act stupid.

You distracted us last night.

You won't get away tonight.

Fuck.

**Me**

I don't know what you're talking about.

I was just trying to thank you for being so.

So good to me the other night.

"Are you alright?" I looked up at Jungkook who had a confused expression on his face. His head was tilted and he looked adorable. Oh my fuck balls of fiery hell in fucktard Montana. Please let me drain you of cum.

"I'm great," I lied. He nodded and looked back to the waitress at the next table. My phone vibrated and I opened the message.

**MinSuga**

No more dick for you until you talk to us.

And yes, we are going to force you to eat again.

**Me**

As long as you're force feeding me something ;)

Jungkook asked for the tab when the waitress passed by us. She nodded and smiled at him for a little too long for my liking. Why am I getting jealous when he doesn't even like me. What the fuck?

She brought the ticket and he grabbed it to look at it. I grabbed it from his hands and put it in my lap. He raised an eyebrow at me. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm not sure I know what you mean," I lied, putting on the most innocent voice I could. He did not look amused. I smiled at him.

"Give me the ticket; I'm paying." I looked at him through my lashes, biting my lip.

"I can pay for it." His face turned red but stayed stern.

"Koda, I invited you out, I'm going to pay." I tilted my head to the side and widened my eyes.

"But, someone who is as pretty as you, shouldn't have to pay for anything." He tried to hide his smile and failed miserably so he just looked down. "Plus, I still owe you for all the help that you've been giving us for the past few weeks."

"It's really been no problem at all. I like helping you. You're really good at dancing." I looked at him.

"Am I? I thought I was just good at grinding my hips and thrusting," I countered. He smirked and nodded.

"You definitely are."

"Well, it comes in handy in certain situations." His eyes widened. I stood up and walked over to the counter and paid for the meal. She thanked me and I saw Jungkook walk over to me.

"That was sneaky. I'm getting the next meal." I nodded.

"Sounds good to me. That means there will be another date." His eyes widened again and I walked past him out the door of the diner. He jogged up to get next to me.

"So, this was a date?" he asked, the hope was so obvious in his eyes. What would he see in you Koda, you fat ass trash heap?

"If you wanted it to be. If that makes you uncomfortable then it could just be two friends getting breakfast together," I explained, trying to keep the nervousness from being too obvious in my voice. I probably failed miserably, but oh well.

"I did! I mean, I do! I'll definitely look forward to our next date." He smiled largely and I returned one equally as large.

"I have to run to the store. If you want I can text you later today," I offered. He nodded and waved to me. He turned and started walking back towards the dorms. I googled the nearest 7-Eleven and walked to it.

I picked up a few things I needed in the dorm and walked back. When I got back to the dorm, Yoongi was sitting with Snow, talking about something and they both looked up at me. Yoongi giving me a devilish smirk. Crap.

"Look who's home. How was breakfast? Did you get to taste any cookies?" I just glared at her while Yoongi's eyebrow shot up.

"I did not. I had my eggs and hashbrowns and that is the only thing that went into my mouth," I explained. I realized that Yoongi was going to say something.

"At least, this morning." Yup. I knew he was going to. I glared at him and Snow stared at him in surprised amusement. Damn it. "Was breakfast better than desert?" I gulped.

"No comment." He laughed. Oh dear god, this is not going to be a fun day is it? He stood up and walked over to me.

"We need to talk. Please." I nodded, defeated. Snow popped up behind him.

"Can I come with you? I wanna see some KoGa action," she explained, wiggling her eyebrows. I looked at her confused.

"Koga?"

"Your ship name."

"I am going to throw things at you." She stuck her tongue out at me.

"No. This is just between Koda and I. Sorry, Snow. It's kind of personal about me," he half-lied. He did want to talk about him too so he didn't lie to her, I guess.

"Alright," she sighed, defeated. "I leave you alone." She walked back over to the couch and plopped down, playing on her phone.

"Are you ready?"

"I don't think I ever will be."


	8. Chapter 8

I walked to my room with Yoongi following behind me. I shut my door and sat down on the bed, he sat next to me. "I know that we need to talk," I started. Yoongi nodded. "But, could you...go first? Mine is going to take a long time to explain." He looked down and nodded.

"I can start." He sighed deeply. "I've been dealing with anxiety, self-hatred, depression, and a panic disorder ever since I could remember. Here in Korea, things are a lot different. If you see a therapist, everything you're diagnosed with, gets put into a public record that any employer can see."

"There's no confidentiality?" He shook his head. "Wow, ok."

"I tried everything I could to smile but I just never could. Then the self harm started. It got so bad that there was one point you could barely see my skin through the fresh cuts and the healing ones."

"How did you stop?" I asked, genuinely curious. It's so hard to think that someone who is as confident and happy-seeming as Agust D would ever have self doubt or anything.

"I met the love of my life. Hobi." That was the cutest fucking thing I ever heard. I looked down though, remembering that nobody could ever love me. "He was just as depressed as I was, if not more. We helped each other and ended up falling in love. He gets me better than anyone could or ever will."

"You almost make it sound like a movie." He shook his head.

"It's not a movie, Koda. It's love." I pulled my knees to my chest, ignoring the pain in my thighs.

"Love doesn't exist for me." I gave him a small smile. He frowned.

"Love is out there for everyone. It finds you in the most unexpected ways but, it is definitely out there." He nodded softly, as if agreeing with his own words. He chuckled. "It definitely makes you rethink everything too."

"So, are you happy now?" He looked at me and gave me a small smile.

"Yes and no." I was confused. "I still have the anxiety and I still get very sad sometimes. But, I'm ok. Do you know why Hobi goes by J-Hope?" I shook my head. "It's because I've always called him my hope."

"Well," I started. He raised an eyebrow. "If that isn't a hallmark christmas movie, then I don't know what is!" He laughed before his face turned serious.

"Your turn." I went to open my mouth but was cut off by the sound of loud music.

_ Da double dee double di _

_ Da double dee double di _

_ Da double dee double di _

I put my face in my hands. "Oh my fucking god." Yoongi looked at me confused.

"What's wrong?"

"Wait for it." The beat dropped and the lyrics mortified me.

_ My lips like sugar _

_ This candy got you sprung _

_ So call me your sugar _

_ You love you some _

Yoongi laughed. I just growled. "I am going to murder that child."

"Well, do they?" I looked at him.

"Do they what?"

"Do your lips like Suga?" I stared at him as he laughed at his pun. What the fuck am I going to do with these people in my life. I have no problem just throwing them into a lion's den right now.

"Ok. That's enough talking for today," I explained, standing up. Yoongi grabbed my arm and I jolted, looking down at him. He gave me his serious eyes.

"Please. I'm sorry. Talk to me." I slowly sat down.

"I don't know if I'm ready."

"You never will be." I looked at him and realized that he was right. I'd never be ready to ever talk about it. The only person who knows even somewhat what happened was Snow and even she didn't really have a clue.

The music cut off and we heard Snow walk to the door. "Alright, Kids. I'm going to get some coffee with Tae. Call me when his dick is out of you!" I heard her close the front door and I turned to Yoongi who was still looking at me.

"Where do I start?"

"From the beginning."

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. "It started when I was twelve," I started.

"When you started cutting?" I shook my head.

"No. I was a really happy kid back then. That's when I met  _ him."  _ Yoongi's eyes widened. I got nervous. "I'm sorry; you don't want to know. I'll stop."

"No. I want to know. Help me understand."

"His name was Adrian Potter. He was two years older than me and we met by a mutual friend that lived in the same complex as us." I closed my eyes, remembering the before. "We became super close, super fast. I started staying over at his house and at that age is when I started questioning my sexuality. He kind of showed me what men can do together."

Yoongi sat back, staring at me.  _ He's disgusted. _ "Oh my god," he said. I closed my eyes and looked down, not able to look him in the eye.

"I thought that it was fine. Then one day he wanted to take it further. I was scared so I kept saying no. He told me that if I didn't do it, he was going to out me to everyone and I would never have friends again. I didn't know any better so I did it. It hurt."

"He started getting more and more forceful during it. Then the violence left the bedroom and started happening outside of sex. He would do things that would scare, hurt, or scar me. He would hit me when he was angry. It wasn't long till I no longer had a say in sex. He would tell me what to do and if I didn't, he'd hurt me worse and worse."

"Didn't anyone ever notice?" I shook my head.

"He knew what he was doing. He knew that I was ashamed of my body, because I used to be really overweight, so the scars and the bruising would always be covered. And my mom was always the type to help everyone, when his parents kicked him out, she let him move in with us into my room."

"Your safe space was gone," he noted. I nodded, still not looking at him.

"He had full access to me then. There was no stopping him. It just got worse and worse and worse. Until, one day, he pissed off my step-dad and he kicked him out. He moved out of state and I cut off all contact. It went on for a full six years. From twelve to eighteen."

"Koda." I ignored him, tears were flowing out of me like a faucet at that point. I was shaking, not wanting to remember any of this.

"I was alone, always. My step-dad was really abusive to my mother, me, and my friends so anytime I made them, they left me. The worst part came when I realized I loved Adrian. My brain kept saying 'If you weren't so pathetic, he wouldn't have hurt you,' 'If you could have just been good, he would have cared,' 'If you weren't so ugly, he would have loved you,' and it's true."

"No," Yoongi said, his voice cracking. I ignored him again, my words coming out shaking violently.

"I stopped eating. Every Time I wanted to eat, I would cut. I lost over a hundred pounds in three months. He still didn't love me. Which means I'm still not good enough. I never will be. I'm useless. All I do is ruin peoples lives. I shouldn't even be here."

"Koda!" Yoongi yelled. I jolted and started shaking harder.  _ He's gonna leave too. He's gonna hit me and leave. I get it. _

"I know. I'm pathetic. You can hit me too. I deserve it." I waited for the hit and it never came. I was still sobbing. I opened my eyes to see Yoongi sobbing too, looking at me horrified.  _ Oh no. I hurt him.  _ "I'm sorry, Yoongi. I didn't mean to make you upset. I'm so sorry."

I jumped up and ran into the bathroom, closing and locking the door. I sat with my back to the wall, crying into my knees. I heard a knock on the door. "Koda." It was Yoongi, his voice cracked when he said my name.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. This is why I didn't want to talk." I knew I was a fuck up but I didn't realize just how bad it was.

"Koda, please open the door. Please," he begged. My 'yes, sir' mentality kicked in and I stood up. I walked to the door and opened it. I immediately felt arms wrap around me, I started crying harder again. My shirt started getting wet from Yoongi's tears. "I'm so sorry that you went through that. I'm so sorry."

We cried for a few minutes. Once I calmed down, he walked me back to the bed and sat me down. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this."

"Don't apologize. I will never be able to fully understand what you went through but just know I'm always here if you need to talk."

I nodded, tears streaming down again. "Thank you."

"Come get food with me." I shook my head.

"I just ate with Jungkook."

"It's six, Koda." My head snapped up and looked at the clock. Holy shit. How long had we been talking? "Come on, let's get something to eat."

"I'm not really hungry."

"We both cried a lot today. We need to refuel and you're going to eat. We still have some more to talk about." Oh  _ lord.  _ I nodded and we went to a nearby restaurant. He ordered for both of us, surprisingly getting my order correct. "How much pain are you in right now?"

_ Not as much as I deserve.  _ "A little bit."

"I'm so sorry that I was so rough on you last night. If I would have had any idea-"

"Don't. Please."

"Koda, I want you to know that if you ever feel like hurting yourself again, you can always call me. I don't care what time, day or night. I will be there." He placed his hand over mine on the table and I flinched. "I'm here for you."

"Thank you." I placed my hand over his and rubbed it. He gave me a small smile. "You know, I'm really not hungry."

"That's because you eat so little your stomach is the size of my big toe. So, we need to stretch that stomach out till it's normal size again," Yoongi explained.

"Well, if there is anybody who can stretch something, that would be you." He laughed. "Okay, I have a very serious question."

"Go ahead."

"Are Pinky and the Brain fucking yet?" He looked at me confused.

"Who?"

"Pinky and the Brain a.k.a Jin and Namjoon." He laughed hard.

"I'm so gonna steal that! They totally are Pinky and the Brain!" We both laughed for a while. "Yes. They've been together since before debut."  _ I knew it! _

"Ha. Yes. I ship it." Suga looked at me, his face turning serious, his eyes still red from crying earlier. He took my hands in his.

"Promise me that if you feel upset, that you will call me." I looked down and gave a small smile, knowing that he actually cared.

"You don't want me to promise that. I have nightmares and they wake me up at ungodly hours."

"It's not a problem. I'm the almighty rock. I sleep anywhere at any time." I gave him a playful smirk.

"What happened to 'don't wake the sleeping Suga or you die,' Suga?"

"That's for frivolous reasons." I was shocked at his use of the word frivolous. Also, I was impressed. "If you need me, I'm there. Hobi and I will come up with a code name for you so that if I have to leave, he'll cover me."

"A code name? You do realize that Koda is my code name, right?" He looked down.

"Is it to hide from him finding you?" A pang hit my chest and I nodded.

"That's why Snow and I wear the wigs, the masks, and have the fake names. Seeing his picture makes me hit the ground crying from fear. I couldn't imagine if he showed up at one of our shows."

He sighed and nodded. "Well, I'll give you a new name."

"Okay. Based on what?"

"Well, it will need to be Korean so that it doesn't sound suspicious." I nodded. "When did you first listen to k-pop?"

"2007." He raised his eyebrows.

"Alright, give me your first favorite rapper." My face turned red and I chose my first favorite rapper.

"SHINee's Minho." He nodded.

"First favorite dancer."

"SHINee's Taemin."

"First favorite singer."

"MBLAQ's Lee Joon."

"Perfect." He thought for a second. "Choi Tae-Joon." I nodded, liking the name.

"Sounds good to me." He nodded and smiled. Our food finally came and we stuffed our faces. I stretched my stomach to it's limits, resisting the urge to purge myself. We paid and walked back to our dorm.

He walked me to my door and looked at me somberly. "Joon-ah, I know you understand me now. When I talk to you in Korean, you need to respond as such," he explained, in Korean. I understood the gist of what he was saying.

"I didn't fully understand but I got the point. I will learn the language as fast as possible," I promised. He nodded and gave me a small smile. "Should I get a second phone, just in case I do need you, as Taejoon?"

"It couldn't hurt. But, until then, just use your regular phone. I don't want you to hesitate to call me. Ever." He turned to leave but then turned back. "Oh! And Koda,"

I looked up at him. "What's up?"

"I hope that Kookie can give you the happiness that you deserve."

"I would just hurt him, Yoongi. You don't want him anywhere around me. I'd destroy him like I do to everything else."

"Don't think you’re Namjoon. You're not destructive, just cracked. Jungkook may be the glue to help you." He turned back around and walked away. I went inside and closed the door. Snow's door was closed so I assumed she was in there.

I walked inside my room and closed the door before sitting down on my bed. Today was a very eventful day and now I'm exhausted. I looked at the time. 9:45 PM. I could probably go to bed now. Snow's probably in bed watching a show or something so I won't have to explain anything yet, thank GOD!


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up in my own bed for a change. Bighit does definitely take care of their people because this bed is so comfortable. I could sleep for a week in this. After forcing myself to sit up, I grabbed my phone and was shocked to see all the notifications.

The first one I saw confused me. It was from Hobi.

**YourHope**

Get ready for a shit storm.

I opened the app and saw that I had a message from every member. Oh no. This cannot be good.

**Kookie**

Congrats...I guess.

**RM**

You hoe XD

**Jin**

HOW DARE YOU CORRUPT MY CHILD!

_ What in the hell happened?! _

**TaeTae**

Go Koda! Get that Agust's D.

**ChimChim**

Ooooh, someone's in trouble! Best hope Kookie doesn't see that. Hehe

**MinSuga**

Attachment: 1 image

Fuck.

I stared at the picture in shock. It was a magazine cover with a picture of Suga and I at the restaurant, his hand covering mine and us smiling at each other. The title shocked me the most. BTS' SUGA AND KODA FROM INAMORATA ARE DATING!

I almost threw the phone. I immediately ran to Snow's room and started pounding on the door. She opened it with a terrified look on her face.

"Koda?! What's going on?! Are you alright? What's wrong?" She asked, frantically. I showed her the picture on my phone. Her expression fell to one of annoyance. "Really? That's what you almost gave me a heart attack for?"

"Do you not realize that he could get kicked out of BTS for this?" She rolled her eyes at me.

"Well, that sucks but it can wait two hours. Its eight in the morning. Don't wake me up unless you're dying. She closed the door and I walked back to my room. I texted Suga.

**Me**

You can say that again.

**MinSuga**

Jimin and Tae are laughing hysterically,

Jin is ranting, RM is congratulating me,

And Kookie is refusing to even talk to me now.

**Me**

Why won't Kookie talk to you?

**MinSuga**

Because he has feelings for you,

You dwarf.

I stared at the screen, registering the words that I just read. Kookie. Me. For. Feelings. Has? WHAT?!

**Ме**

First of all, RUDE!

Second of all, no he doesn't.

**MinSuga**

Yes. He does.

**Me**

Yoongi, I'm not the type of person that people fall for.

It just...doesn't happen.

**MinSuga**

Is that why he threw the magazine at me and left?

**Me**

There is probably a good explanation for that.

He could easily have been thinking you were cheating

On Hobi.

**MinSuga**

He knows I wouldn't do that.

Stop being dumb and just accept the fact that he does like you.

My phone started to ring and I answered without looking at the name. "Hello?"

"Hey, Koda." It was BangPD. I felt the color completely drain from my face. "Can you and Yoongi come to HQ? We need to sort this out." His voice wasn't angry or anything. But, then again, some serial killers sound like an angel.  _ Fuck. _

"Yes, sir. I can do that. We'll be there as soon as possible." I hung up the phone and changed my clothes. I walked out the door to the stairs. The fourth floor felt like forever even though it was only one floor above my own. When I opened the door and walked into the hallway, Jungkook was standing at the elevator.

I smiled and waved to him. He gave me a tight smile and nodded before stepping into the elevator and closed the door.  _ Even more fuck. _ I took a deep breath and walked over to Yoongi's door and knocked.

Hobi opened the door and let me inside. "Yoongi's getting ready. PD already called him. This is not good." He went and sat down at the kitchen table. I followed suit and sat down.

"How in the hell is this going to be fixed?" I asked, placing my face in my hands. This whole thing really is a shit storm of nope.

"PD will come up with something. He always does. He's good at crowd control and even better at controlling the media." I nodded. That made me feel better. Yoongi came out of the room, and stopped at the hall.

"Are we ready?" he asked. I stood up and walked over to him. He grabbed my hand and squeezed gently. "Don't worry, Koda. He fixed the scandal with Hobi and I a few years ago with no problem. This will be nothing."

"I saw Kookie on the way here. He would barely even look at me."  _ He probably thinks I'm a stupid homewrecker now. _

"He'll be fine. Once we get this sorted out, I will explain everything to him."

"Alright. Let's go get this over with before I throw up from nerves." Yoongi walked to the door and opened it for me. I stepped out and we walked to the car that would bring us to what I will now refer to as HOE, Hell. On. Earth.  _ This is going to be horrible. I'm gonna get murdered. _

When we got to HQ, we walked in and went straight to PD's office. We knocked and were told to enter. A girl was sitting in front of his desk. She turned to us and I recognized her as IU, a hugely famous singer.

"Boys, welcome. Please sit. This is IU, she's here to help take care of the little situation that we have." I was confused. I didn't know how she could help with something like this.

"Hello," she bowed, introducing herself. Yoongi and I bowed back. We took a seat next to her and I looked at PD confused.

"What do you have planned for us to do?" Yoongi asked. I looked at him, his face was serious and confident. He almost looked like he was military because of his stone expression. I was impressed.

"The MAMA awards are a few weeks away. IU has agreed to have a special stage with Koda. With some special planning of events, we will start a scandal with Koda and IU." I stared at him.

"Special stage with me? Doing what? Aren't the MAMA awards meant for, I don't know, Asian people?!" I was so confused. I didn't hesitate between questions before starting the next. I don't know what to think right now. I gotta tell Kookie what is going on so he's not blind sided.

"Yes. IU has a song called 'Live Your Life' that is quite intimate. You are going to rap on the song and join her on her stage at the MAMAs. We will plan little things that will lead up to it. Also, the worry about it being an Asian award show," PD looked up at me and smiled. "You'll be rapping in Korean."

My jaw almost hit the floor. "You have way too much faith in me." He shook his head.

"I only have faith in what I know you can accomplish. I know that you can do this Koda. You are an intelligent man. You'll make us proud." That was surprisingly comforting but still. It's horrifying to think about. I've never sang live in Korean. I still feel like I'm gonna fail.

IU put her hand on mine. I jolted and saw Yoongi stop himself from lunging forward at her. Her eyebrows shot up. "Are you guys actually dating?"

Yoongi shook his head. "No. I'm just very protective of my little brother." My heart warmed when he called me that again.

"That is very sweet of you. You seem very close." I nodded and gave her a small smile. "But, Koda, if we're going to pull this off, I need to be able to touch you." I dropped my head and nodded. She gave me a small smile. "Don't worry. We'll work on it slowly."

"Thank you."

"Ok. Now that we have this settled, Koda, you, Yoongi, and IU, are going to head to the recording studio right now to get this ready. Yoongi, I'm going to need you to write the lyrics for him," PD explained. He nodded and I gave a tight smile.

I need to find some time to talk to Kookie. I'm sure once I explain the situation, he'll understand. Or, at least, I hope. "We're gonna write it today?"

PD nodded. "It shouldn't be too long. Yoongi is our start writer. He can write a hit in fifteen minutes, so this rap should be nothing for him." Yoongi nodded at me and smiled. "Once the rap is finished, Sungwoo has already finished the choreography for the remixed version. You'll meet them in the second dance studio."

"Perfect. That's the one we usually use." Yoongi smiled. If he's happy, then I'm sure this will work.

"Also, if you'd be alright with it, we want you to also record a rap in English and record parts for a remix music video." I nodded, my mouth refusing to make a noise, trying to process everything that was being said. "Perfect. Thank you for being so helpful, IU. You are a wonderful person and it was a pleasure to meet you."

"You as well, PD-nim. I hope we meet again soon." She bowed and smiled at him. Her teeth are so perfect. Why is she so gorgeous? I wonder if anything that happened to her character in the drama 'The Producers' was accurate.

"I'm sure we will." He nodded and walked us to the door. I walked out, trying to breathe. Yoongi put his hand on my shoulder and I jolted again and then relaxed. I gotta get used to this.

"I'm excited to have you on the song. I hope you like it. I think you will sound amazing," IU said. I looked at her in confusion. "I've been a fan for a long time. I really like your solo 'Take It Over'." My eyebrows shot up.

"Oh. thank you! I'm a huge fan as well. I love your song '4am'. It was my favorite song for the longest time." She looked at me confused.

"You've heard of me before?" she asked, surprised.

"You're the best singer I've heard in Korea," I responded in Korean. She blushed and smiled.

"Thank you! That is very sweet of you. I'm looking forward to this stage." I smiled at her.  _ I think that I am too. _ She walked over to the elevator, I walked past towards the stairs. She looked at me confused.

"I'm not a fan of elevators." Her mouth made an 'o' and she nodded. I walked into the stairwell with Yoongi following behind me. "Is this going to be my life now? Scared of even having dinner with my best friend?"

I saw that Yoongi smiled when I said 'best friend'. "For a little while. Don't worry, little bro, we're gonna get everything taken care of. I promise. This won't be for too long. Once the MAMAs happen the press will be all over speculating."

"I'm worried about how the other idols are going to act towards you now that this news is all over the place," I explained. I hated thinking that I could be the cause of his pain. I'm a horrible person. He laughed, which shocked me.

"Don't worry. I will tell you if you ever meet an idol that hasn't slept with another male idol." My eyebrows shot up. "Idols have this archaic Japanese mindset that sex is for pleasure, not caring about gender. It's kind of like before Christianity came into Japan. Most of the Samurai used to take on young charges and help them during their transition into sexual maturity."

I stopped and stared at him. "Please, tell me y'all don't fuck the maknaes before their legal."

He laughed hard. "No. That's gross. They're children and that is not okay. We just have a more fluid sexuality that is kept under wraps. Most of the pairings that were your OTP have actually happened before."

"Woah. And here I thought Korea was hateful against gay people." He nodded.

"They are. Idols have a different way of thinking. We start in this business at a very young age and we are taught to think differently than most people. Some people end up in long meaningful relationships, others however, just do it for the sex."

I nodded, his words processing in my already scattered mind. When we got to the third floor, Yoongi opened the door for me and we walked to the recording studio.  _ Well, here goes nothing. _


	10. Chapter 10

We were in the recording studio for about two hours before we finished the English and Korean rap. The Korean part was hard but Yoongi and IU helped me a lot. They fixed my pronunciation to where they said I sounded almost native.

I was fairly proud of myself with the outcome of the song. I really liked it. I'm used to IU having a more mellow tone but this song is definitely a dance song. I was jumping and bobbing to it the whole time. It did raise my spirits a bit.

"Koda, Yoongi, if you guys want to head to the dance studio and warm up, I'm waiting for my lead dancer. He should be here soon so we'll meet you in there," IU explained. I nodded and walked out. I opened the door and watched as Taehyung was flawlessly executing our intimate dance for "Through the light" with Snow.

When they finished, everyone looked at Yoongi and I, standing at the door. Jin had a raised eyebrow, NamJoon and Jimin stared at us with a smirk, Hoseok smiled at us, Taehyung looked at us and smiled, and Jungkook refused to look at us. _ Did I really piss him off that bad? _

"Hey, guys. Okay, I'm sure we have some explaining to do," Yoongi admitted. Hoseok went and stood by his boyfriend, holding his hand. "You all know that the tabloids were wrong. I am not cheating on Hoseok. Koda and I just became closer after a long personal talk. I was just trying to comfort him."

"Also," I started. "PD-nim has a plan on how we're going to get rid of this stupid rumor."

"What would that be?" Jin asked. Disapproval was very obvious in his voice. Right before I was able to speak, IU and her main dancer came in, along with a few other dancers following behind them.

Jungkook's eyes went super wide when he saw her. I could have sworn I almost saw him blush. "IU is going to help us start a scandal with Koda to move the suspicion off of me and to her.

"Hello. I am IU. Nice to meet you."

"Koda and IU are going to perform a special stage at this year's MAMA awards. We are here to start practicing. I've been informed that IU's lead dancer was informed to create an intimate dance for the two in order to cause a flurry," Yoongi explained. The dancer nodded when he spoke.

"The dance has been altered slightly to fit the new version. The steps will be towards the instrumental not the vocals since the vocals were just recorded." The dancer walked over to the sound system and plugged in a USB. "Press play when we get into position."

He waved over one of the girl dancers. He stood behind her with their backs touching. IU started the track and they started the dance. It was very intimate and borderline sexual. If KBS doesn't ban this dance, I will be shocked to all hell.

When the dance was over, IU and I started to learn the dance. I know that it was going to take us all day to learn it but it looked fun. I was right; it was definitely fun. Maybe we could collaborate for real one day. That'd be nice.

Jungkook and Jimin wouldn't take their eyes off me every time I got close to her. I felt like a bird under a microscope. It was uncomfortable. Jungkook had a very deep and fiery gaze that bore into my soul.

The part where I was supposed to grab her by her waist and slam her into my body came. We executed it perfectly. "Freeze," the dancer stopped us. "Now, Koda, you're going to look deeply into her eyes and lean like you're going to kiss her."

I groaned internally and did what I was told. IU looked at my lips like she was yearning for me and then pulled back at the last minute, going back into the dance. Her acting skills were incredible. I legit thought she wanted to kiss me for a second.

We finished the dance and the dancer clapped. "That was it?" He nodded. I relaxed, so happy that we were done.

"Yeah, and we finished in only three hours. We're way ahead of schedule. So, you guys can do whatever for the rest of the day, I guess." He went and got the USB from the stereo and put it in his bag. "Have a good day everyone and good job!"

I looked over and saw Jimin jabbing at Jungkook and they were whispering back and forth. I was curious as to what they were talking about. They don't seem like the gossip type. Okay, that's a total lie. They are the textbook definition of 'gossip type'.

A wave of uncomfortable scrutiny came over me when I saw that Pinky and the Brain were doing the same thing but making it very obvious they were talking about me.  _ Okay. That's enough for me today.  _ I grabbed my stuff and bolted out the door.

As I was walking towards the stairs, someone called out my name. I turned to see Jungkook jogging over to me. My stomach did a flip.  _ This cannot be good. _ I was not in the mood for any confrontation about what happened or the picture.

"Koda, umm...can I talk to you?" he asked, biting his lip. I nodded and faced him. "You did really good today. It looked really believable."

"Thanks." I kept nervously shifting my weight.

"So, umm...I was thinking. Do you happen to like anyone?" I was slightly taken aback by the blunt question.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, have you found anybody here in Korea that you have an interest in?" He looked nervous. His body language was slightly defensive, yet vulnerable.

"I have." He stiffened his back.

"Oh! That's...great. Do I know her?" he asked.  _ This boy knows damn well that I don't like women. _

"Yes. You do know  _ him _ ." His eyebrows shot up at the last word and a small smile formed on his face before being replaced with a serious expression.

"What's his name? Is he in the group?" I nodded and raised an eyebrow at how clueless this bunny-boy was. A small smirk was forming on my lips. He scratched his neck. "You know, you could just tell me his name."

"Why do you want to know so bad?" I asked. I wanted to make sure that I didn't make a fool of myself and make him uncomfortable.

"Well, because, I'm worried about you. Because if it was someone like Jimin, I'd want to warn you that he's a real workaholic and a player. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Fuck off, you giant rabbit!" Jimin's voice screamed from the practice room. I stared in that direction. They're listening to this entire conversation, aren't they?

"Well," I started. "You don't have to worry about that. The one I like doesn't like me back so there is no chance of me getting hurt." I started to turn but was stopped by him talking.

"Have you asked him?"  _ Why the hell is this man so damn curious? _

"I didn't need to. During the dance practice his eyes bore holes into me with anger."  _ I'm gonna be petty as hell and not help this boy at all. _

"Maybe because he was jealous seeing you dance with IU like that." I felt a pang in my chest. That was all the proof I needed that he wasn't into me. He was just making sure that IU and I weren't a thing.  _ Absolutely wonderful. _

"Well, feel free to take her. I'm sure she's single." I spun on my heels and pushed through the door to the stairs, hopping down to the first floor. When I walked through the door to the first floor, I walked towards the door as fast as I could.

"Koda!" I heard someone yell my name. I refused to turn around and started walking as fast as I possibly could. Of course, Jungkook would be wanting IU. Why would he ever want someone like me. He's straight and even if he wasn't, he would never want someone like me.

I turned down the alley next to the bighit building. I saw some girls holding up another girl so she could look through the window. They saw me and almost dropped her. They bowed and their faces turned red.

"Koda Oppa, how are you?" she asked in broken English.

"What are you three doing?" I asked, keeping my voice as calm as possible.

"We were just trying to get a glimpse of RM. Is he in there?" one of the girls asked. I walked over to them with a smile. They looked at me nervously and took a step back.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I explained in my limited Korean. "He is in there however, he's in dance practice so he won't be out for another four or five hours. You should just come back." They looked at me with wide eyes and I smiled even bigger at them. "I'm an ARMY too. I understand what you feel."

"Then why are you crying?" one of them asked. My eyebrow shot up and I touched a hand to my face. I felt tears, this is not okay. Why in the hell am I crying?

"I hurt my back. I have scoliosis and it's hurting really bad. Don't worry. I'm alright." I smiled at them, hoping they'd believe me but their frowns grew bigger.

"Please, take care of yourself, Oppa. We don't want you to be in any pain." The tallest girl explained. I nodded and smiled.

"Please don't worry about me. It's due to natural medical problems. I am receiving treatment. I'll be alright. I promise." They all smiled.

"Could we get a picture with you?" one of the girls asked.

"Can I post it on instagram?" I asked. They all looked at each other, looked back at me, and smiled.

"Of course, we would be honored!" one of the girls squealed.

"Awesome, then it's no problem," I laughed. They ran over to me and started taking pictures. I took a selfie with them and started posting it on instagram. "What are your names?"

"Jae-Kyung!"

"Dan-Bi!"

"Hye-Mi!" I wrote their names on the post and clicked 'Finish." A few seconds later, their phones lit up.  _ They must follow me on instagram. _ We said our farewells and I walked away.

My phone went off and I saw that I had a friend request from IU. I accepted and messaged her.

**IU:**

Koda-gun! I just heard from my manager and 

the English remix will be released a week 

before our stage and the Korean version will be released right when we go on.

**Me:**

Awesome! I'm excited to see the reaction. 

I'm a little nervous for people to react to the Korean version but I'm mostly excited.

**IU:**

Don't worry! You sounded great. I'm very excited. They may even have us collaborate again with a new song and we can do a music video!

I stared at the screen. How long are we going to keep up this ruse? And how far are they going to push this? I would really prefer not to have to spend my life living like this, if at all possible.

**Me:**

That sounds great! That would be a lot of fun!

Don't get me wrong, I love IU and of course I've wanted to work with her, I just wish it was under different circumstances. She's an incredible artist and actress and she seems to be just fine with the arrangement but I'm not. I don't like lying to cover up a stupid rumor.

I decided to get some candy and a coffee on the way back to the dorm. I stopped at this cute tiny cafe that had a bunch of cat and dog stickers all over the windows. It was cute and the coffee was to die for. It tasted good enough for me to buy another for the walk home. It wasn't cold but I still needed the caffeine.

It didn't take me too long to walk back to the dorm. When I got to my floor and opened the door to the hallway, Jungkook was sitting on the floor in front of my door.  _ This boy just does not give up, does he? Stupid question. He's known for being stubborn. _

He turned his head towards me and stood up. "You take too long." I stared at him. "Can we please talk?" I nodded and walked over to the door. I unlocked it and waved him inside. I shut the door behind us and sat down on the couch. He, hesitantly, followed suit.

"What do you want to talk about? I asked. He started twiddling his thumbs.

"Um... Well... You see... I wanted to talk about earlier." he stuttered. I looked down.

"What else is there to talk about? You want IU, were you mad that I was dancing with her, and I basically told you that I felt things for you." He looked taken aback by that. "It's fine. I'm sure she'll like you. I'm sorry for putting you in an awkward position. I was never going to attempt anything, I promise."

"Why not?" he asked. Curiosity filling his voice.

"Because you're straight and that wouldn't be cool for me to do that. After we're done talking I'm going to act like none of this ever happened by the way, so there is nothing to worry about there."

"But I don't want you to act like this didn't happen," he said in a small voice. I didn't hear it.

"If me being around makes you too uncomfortable then just tell me and I'll leave you alone. I won't say anything or even look at you again. I know the drill of how this works and I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"Don't leave me alone. I don't want you to act like this never happened either!" he stated, sternly. I blinked back at him.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to be the one to confess first."


	11. Chapter 11

I just stared at him, completely shocked. He stared back with his adorable big bunny eyes while biting his lip with his adorable big bunny teeth. I didn't know what to do. I could have either; stayed silent while figuring out a way to run, tell him I feel the same and get crushed when he tells me that he's joking, or I could ask if he's serious then cry later when he says no.

"Did I just break you?" he asked, waving a hand in front of my face. I blinked before I realized what he said then I rolled my eyes and scoffed.

"It takes a lot more than that to make me break, Bunny Boy." He jolted back like I set him on fire. Ha. Fire. Puns.

"Did you...understand what I meant?" he asked, rubbing his neck. Another nervous habit that I noticed.

"That you didn't want me to confess again. Don't worry. I won't say anything again. I promise. Please, don't hate me." I knew that wasn't what he said, or what he meant at all but, I want him to take pity if he's just joking. You can say whatever you want about my paranoid ass, I have tricks.

"That's not what I meant. I said that I didn't want to be the  _ first one _ to confess, as in, I wanted to tell you that I like you back." I gave up being an ass to him and decided to tell him the truth.

"I know that's what you meant. I just wanted to hear you say it out loud." He stared at me with a blank expression.

"Really?" he asked in a dull tone.

"Well, I was confused on whether you're being serious or if someone paid you to say this as a joke so I wanted to have some fun in case you were doing this for a laugh." He looked at me cautiously to see if I was joking or not. His face got stern.

"Why would I joke about something like that?" he asked. I couldn't tell what he was upset about; the fact that I thought he would do that, or that people actually do that sort of thing.

"Because that would be the third time that has happened to me...this year." I looked down at my hands remembering the douchebags that did that, just to get my hopes up so they could crush them.

"That's horrible. Why would someone do that? It makes no sense." Memories flew through my mind and I felt my left eye start twitching and my side start itching.  _ Because I'm not worth being loved or even cared about. _

"Because that's what people do." I gave him a small forced smile and he looked down.

"I wouldn't do that. I  _ couldn't _ do something like that. I do like you, Koda. I'm not lying." I started playing with my thumbs while he was talking. "Do you actually like me or is it really someone else in the group and I just made a complete fool out of myself?"

"Of course it's you, Kookie. I just thought that you had a thing for IU. I overreacted. I'm sorry." He nodded slightly.

"Don't worry about it. I mean, I can understand the feelings," he explained. I looked at him with a soft expression. "Just look at me. I'm practically carved from stone!" My expression darkened when I realized he was joking.

"Okay, that's enough talking," I said standing up. I felt his hand grab my wrist and pull me on his lap. I started shaking from the physical contact. He looked directly into my wide, nervous eyes.

"I'm just kidding. I'm nervous and humor is kind of a defence mechanism." I blinked.

"You even know the defence mechanism. Wow, much English."

"Very language." I busted up laughing when he said that. My phone went off and Kookie practically threw me off his lap. He replaced my spot with a pillow and I just stared at him. He smiled at me sheepishly while his face turned beet red.

"Are you alright?" I asked. He bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut for a second.  _ What's wrong? Did I screw something up already? The phone couldn't have scared him that bad...could it have? _

"Your phone was in your back pocket," he explained. I blinked, trying to understand what he meant until it finally hit me.  _ My phone was on vibrate and I was in his lap. Oh. My. God. That. Is. Hilarious. _

"Excited?" I asked. His face turned a darker red.

"Can we change the subject, please?"  _ I really shouldn't torture him but I want to so bad. I'm a horrible person. How could he like someone like me? _ My thoughts brought me out of my sadistic nature and into a depressed mood. I gave him a small smile and nodded.

"Speaking of phones, I should probably check it," I quipped, grabbing my phone from my pocket. It was a text from Snow.

**Snow**

Hey! Is Jungkook with you? Tae is looking for him.

**Me**

Yeah. He's here. We're just talking.

**Snow**

I didn't ask what you were doing.

WAIT!

WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, CHILD?!

**Me**

Nothing! I was just giving you an explanation to give to Tae.

**Snow**

I smell bullshit.

**Me**

Probably because you stepped in it!

**Snow**

Very funny. Now, send him back to HQ so Tae will stop humping my leg.

**Me**

Grody. Didn't need that visual. I'll tell him.

"Tae is looking for you." He looked at me with slightly wide eyes. "He wants you back at HQ." His eyes widened.

"I have to...stand up?" I tried to hide the smirk that was creeping over my face. I nodded trying to look ever-so-innocent. The blush returned to his cheeks. "Can I wait a minute?"

"Why do you want to wait? Is there a problem?" I asked with mock ignorance. I knew exactly what I was doing and he did too. He looked at me, accepting the challenge. He stood up and dropped the pillow on the couch.

My eyes almost came out of my skull.  _ Thank the sweet lord, Jesus, for making skinny jeans. _ My mouth dropped and he just put his hands on his hips and smirked. "Problem?" he asked. I shook my head slowly.

"Not even in the slightest. In fact, kind of the opposite of a problem." He smiled and turned towards the door. "You're not even gonna wait to relax a bit? I was totally just kidding!"

"Nah, It's alright. By the time I get to the elevator, I'll be fine." I just stared at him. "Once you're out of my sight, I'll be calm."  _ Wait, was that supposed to be a compliment or offensive? I don't even know anymore. I'll just chuckle. _ I chuckled.

He winked at me and left. I stared at the door, thinking about what had just happened.  _ If things are gonna happen between us, I'm gonna need medical equipment. _ I pulled out my phone and started looking up wheelchairs on Amazon.


	12. Chapter 12

"Honey, I'm home," Snow rang out as she walked into the dorm. I was laying upside down on the couch, watching The Grudge. She tilted her head at me in confusion. "What are you doing?"

"I just found out that Kookie has a thing for me," I said with a monotone voice. She sighed, exasperated.

"No shit, Sherlock. He's been going on and on about you for weeks now." I let gravity flip me right-side-up and just stared at her in disbelief.

"What the hell do you mean for weeks?" I growled. How could she not have told me. It's like we're not even friends. She has always known he was my bias. What is wrong with her?!

"He's been going on and on about how he has a thing for you and has no idea how to ask you out. Then the whole Yoongi thing happened and he got really jealous." My mouth was on the floor at that point. "He said he was 'going to make you his'. He knew that you weren't with Yoongi because of Sope on a Rope upstairs but, he didn't know how to approach you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"He asked me not to. You should have seen him after you left the studio and he ran after you. He ran back saying that you stormed off and Tae went running after you but Kookie was just spazzing that you liked him back, then he realized that he didn't say anything back so he said he was coming to wait here."

"Wow. That was a long explanation. Informative though, thanks."

"No problem. I'm going to take a shower. I smell like Tae." I eyed her suspiciously. She rolled her eyes. "He was freaking out that you hated him because you refused to turn around when he called you. I explained what happened but he still was latching on to me. It took a crowbar for that child to get off me."

I nodded in understanding and restarted the movie from the beginning. I didn't get much of what was happening while I was having a mental breakdown from what happened earlier in the day. My phone buzzed and I picked it up.

**Jimin**

I'm offended, Koda. I thought that I was your bias.

**Me**

You were.

**Jimin**

What did I do? ㅠㅠ

**Me**

You were straight.

**Jimin**

Says who?!

**Me**

You did. Yesterday.

**Jimin**

And you took me seriously? Koda...

I thought you were smarter than that.

**Me**

Rude.

**Jimin**

I'm just kidding. It's totally fine that you're a traitor.

**Me**

Child, I will sit on you!

**Jimin**

*sarcasm* That's such a threat.

Oh my god. I'm so scared.

**Me**

Hey. My fat ass would crush you.

**Jimin**

If Kookie can pick you up with one arm,

Then you're not that heavy. Try me.

**Me**

How do you know if he can pick me up

With one arm?

**Jimin**

We're gonna find out when I send him over there.

**Me**

What do you mean? Why? What?

**Jimin**

LOL Calm down. I'm sending him there to get you.

We need to show you something.

**Me**

I'm scurrd.

**Jimin**

You dumb. Now he's on his way. Get ready.

I stared at the phone. Crap. He's on his way. I jolted off the couch and ran to my room to pick out some clothes. After throwing everything on my bed, I settled for some light blue jeans, a beige long sleeve, and my blonde ombre wig.

Right when I slapped on my mask, there was a knock on the door. Perfect timing. Snow and I walked out of our rooms at the same time. She looked at me confused. "Did Jimin text you too?" she asked. I nodded.

She walked over and opened the door. Kookie walked in, looking super dapper in a wool coat and beret. I looked him up and down, nodding approvingly. He smirked. "Are you guys ready?"

We nodded and he gestured to the door. We walked out and he followed behind us. We walked down stairs and got into his Kia Sorento to go to HQ. When we arrived there, he opened my door and gestured for me to get out, he repeated this with Snow.

Following him into the building towards the dance studios, Snow and I looked at each other with confusion. Where is this giant bunny taking us? "Where are we going, Kookie?"

"I don't kiss and tell." I crossed my arms and pouted.

"You haven't kissed me at all." He turned around to face me, making me stop with wide eyes. He walked a little closer and leaned down to reach me.

"Do you want me to change that?" I just stared at him, not knowing what to say. "Come along," he sang, turning on his heels back towards the studio. Snow smirked at me and started walking past my frozen stature. I sulked behind them.

He opened the door and all of BTS were there, wearing floor length wool coats except for RM. What the hell? I narrowed my eyes at Jungkook. "What do you have planned, Bunny-boy?" He smiled and shook his head.

"We have something a little planned for you. We know that this past week has been a little crazy. So we thought we'd do something to cheer you up!" he explained. I looked at them nervously.

"You know, this is how gang-bangs start," Snow quipped. My eyes widened, my head snapped to her before looking back at the boys. Jimin and Tae slowly took off their jackets while looking directly in my eyes. My heart started to pound.

"No. Not today, Satan!" I yelled, turning to run but Jin stood in front of the door, unbuttoning his jacket. I closed my eyes and turned around.

"Open your eyes," Kookie said. I did and he was unbuttoning his jacket.  _ This _ I actually did want to see, so I just stared through open fingers. He opened his jacket to reveal a white tank top, basketball shorts, and tennis shoes. The outfit looked very nineties.

I dropped my hands in disappointment. That was so not what I was expecting. "Not what I thought but, very nineties."

"What, did you think I'd be naked?"

"I hoped," I whispered. He raised his eyebrow. I cleared my throat. "So you wanted to show us that you went back in time to Tommy Hilfiger?"

"Go sit in front of the mirror." I did as I was told and Snow followed suit. They got into their places with their heads down. I looked at Snow and she was smirking. She knows what is happening doesn't she?

Music started and I realized what song it was; It's Gonna Be Me by *NSYNC. My mouth dropped. Oh, dear lord Jesus. Please tell me they are not doing this song. Jungkook started singing and I lost all hope that this was a joke, the look on his face was very serious and charming.

I smiled when Yoongi started singing. I've never heard him actually  _ try _ to sing before, it's always been in a comedic type of way. He's really good. Then again, he  _ is _ the one who writes the most. That makes sense.

Their choreography was on point, moving perfectly in sync. (HA!). Snow and I were smiling and clapping along and then they surrounded Jungkook before he pushed through wearing a top hat, bow tie, and with a black rose in his hand. I  _ knew _ that Snow had something to do with this.

He handed me the rose and I felt my cheeks burn. I don't blush. What is this crap?! He leaned over to me; my back was to the wall so I couldn't move away. "Be mine," he whispered in my ear. My entire face had turned into a tomato.

I giggled then slapped a hand over my mouth. He pulled back and I saw his cocky smirk. I shrugged and smirked back. "Sounds good to me," I crooned with a wink. He smiled largely and I chuckled at his Bunny-Boy smile. He's precious.

"Nice touch with the rose, Snow," I complimented. Kookie's face dropped.

"Oh, it was no pro-" She stopped when she realized that she outed herself as the mastermind. I smirked at her. "How did you know?"

"Because you are literally the only person on this planet that knows my favorite flower is a black rose."

"Damn it!" She stomped her foot on the ground. "Either way, it worked! My master plan came to fruition." Jungkook and I looked at each other before looking at her.

"Your master plan?" he asked. I cocked an eyebrow.

"Don't even think you made this happen. We liked each other before this," I warned.

"True but, I was the one who had the idea to do that horrible nineties dance routine."

"Hey! That was difficult!" Yoongi whined. I laughed hard.

"Yoongi, walking is difficult for you."

"Like it was for you, Koda?" he quipped; his eyes immediately widened when he said that. Jungkook looked at me confused. I waved a hand telling him to ignore him. He nodded and scratched his head.

"We should go," he offered. I tilted my head to the side.

"Where to?" I asked.

"I kind of...have a...date planned for us," he mumbled. I nodded and he looked panicked. "Only if you want to of course. If you don't want to or have other plans, I totally-" I stopped him by putting a finger to his lips.

"I'm free and yes, I want to." He smiled against my finger before sticking his tongue out and licking it. I groaned in disgust before wiping it on his neck. 

"Eh, you'll get used to it," he remarked.

"What, your tongue?" I asked, chuckling. He nodded and my face turned to shock. "What?" He turned and walked over to grab his bag. I just stared at him.

"Go," Snow whispered in my ear, startling me. I jumped and walked over to him. He winked at me.

"Let's get going. I gotta run by the dorm if that's ok." I nodded and he smiled that famous Bunny-Boy smile. My stomach fluttered and I just followed him out. We spent the walk back to the dorms, him donning his long coat again, talking about how they set it up in only one day.

When we got back to his dorm he unlocked the door and waved me inside. I followed him to his room and put his bag down. He grabbed some clothes, underwear, and socks. I thought he was going to put them in the bathroom but he just started disrobing, right in front of me. I squeaked in shock and turned around.

"You don't have to look away, Koda. All this is yours now." I didn't need to see him to know he was gesturing towards his body. My face blushed hard, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to calm my breathing. I opened my eyes and Bunkook was standing in front of me, totally bare, in all his muscular-big muscle-glory.

I felt my skin get goosebumps and my breathing became ragged. I couldn't stop staring at him. He lifted my chin and I shuddered at his touch. My eyes met his and he was smiling with his head tilted. "You have a very nice body."

"You can touch it if you want. Like I said, it's yours now." I wanted to, so bad. I looked at him again and took my hand, pressing it against his chest. He closed his eyes and I felt his muscular chest before sliding down and rubbing his abs. He moaned and I started tracing each ab. "Koda," He moaned.

He looked at me with half-life eyes. I stopped my movements and he reached up to undo

my mask. I grabbed his hand and then I let him. When my mask fell, I was expecting some sort of negative reaction due to how hideous I am but, he just smiled. "What?" I asked.

"It's nice to see you without the mask again," he explained. My eyes widened and I just stared at him.

"What do you mean?"

"You came to the fansign. I knew it was you, I just didn't say anything." I stared at him with a shocked expression.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"You called me BunKook. Only Yoongi calls me that in private when I'm acting cute." I mentally face-palmed.  _ Of course I'd screw up like that. _ I just put my face in my hands before realizing I could smell his sweat. My eyes shot open and I looked at him.

"Crap," I groaned. He chuckled.

"Don't worry about it. I'm gonna go take a shower if you'd like to join me," he offered. I watched him walk past me towards the bathroom. He's got a booty.

"I'll just wait...in the...living room," I whispered, transfixed by the view. He turned around to give me one last view before closing his bathroom door.


	13. Chapter 13

"Koda," he started. I shook my head and looked at him. He only had his shirt off. "Are you alright?" My mouth was very dry. I nodded.

"W-w-what did you say?"

"I said that you don't have to look away. I'm not shy," he reiterated.  _ Did I really just imagine that whole scenario? Am I losing my mind? _ I put my hand to my face and realized that my mask was still on.  _ My brain is officially fried. _

"Oh," I squeaked, mentally cursing myself. "Alright. I will just wait out in the living room then."

"Alright. I shouldn't be too long."  _ That's what I'm wondering _

"Perfect. Okaythanksseeyoubye." I squealed before running out of the room. I heard Jungkook chuckle.  _ That was not mortifying, not. At. all. _

Internally, I was screaming.  _ That actually just happened. _ I walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch of JiKook's shared apartment. The shower could be heard from the living room due to the layout of the apartment. I could just imagine what is actually happening in there.

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the horrible thoughts that were impeding my not-so-innocent mind. It took him only a few minutes to get ready for us to go out. He came out in black jeans, a white t-shirt--shocking huh?--and converse. Their song 'Converse High' popped in my head, and I had to hold back a smirk. He looked hot.

"Are you ready?"

I nodded, not willing to let myself speak, just in case I said something I would completely regret, which knowing me, would easily happen. I stood up and walked with him out of the apartment. He brought me in his car--which I had no idea that he actually drove--to a restaurant somewhere in Seoul, I'm not too sure where.

The restaurant looked like just a little hole in the wall; it was cute, just small and empty. Something like this would be considered a "dive" in America. It probably has the best food, as most places this size usually do.

"Tada!" he sang as we walked in and spread his arms out, narrowly missing my face. "Mom, we're here!" My eyes got wide as I stared at him. Korean men usually do not introduce anyone to their parents until they are ready for marriage. I am way too young for that shit!

A small woman came out from, what I assume, was the kitchen. She looked just like Jungkook but with less bulge and more boobs. "My son! It's about time you came; I started to think that you weren't coming," she stated in a perfect American accent. I just kind of stared at her.

"I told you we'd be here today, and it's only..." He looked at his watch to check the time. "Thirty minutes until we were supposed to be here." He gave his mother a "really, mom?" look and I bit my lip to keep from chuckling.

Her eyes turned to me and she smiled, looking me up and down, then nodding. My eyes got so wide that I thought that they were going to pop out of my head. She's judging me. I'm not good enough for this perfect man. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. She's gonna hate me. I don't know why I'm even trying at this point.

"You must be Koda. My name is Kim SoHee. It's a pleasure to meet you; Jungkook talks about you all the time." I blushed when she said that. When I turned to look at Jungkook with a smirk, I saw he was avoiding my gaze but blushing harder than me. "I can see why you've been driving my son insane for the past couple weeks."

"Mother!"

"Hello. It is very nice to meet you too, Mrs. Kim. I must say, your English is impeccable. Were you raised in the states?" I wanted to ask what she meant about me driving him crazy when he's the damn tease, but I decided that can wait. First impressions and all.

"I wasn't raised there but I did go to University there. I was living there for about 6 years while I got my masters in accounting. It's actually where I met Jungkook's father." My eyebrows shot up. So that would explain why his accent is practically non-existent.

"That would explain it!" My voice was quivering quite noticeably. I was trying to control myself but, that was not going to happen any time soon.

"Why don't you boys go find a seat and I'll bring you something delicious?"

We nodded and Jungkook led us over to a seat by the window. I sat down and wiped my sweaty palms on my pants. "Why do you look so nervous?"

"Because I'm a paranoid wreck who was just ambushed by a 90's boy band then a muscular hottie stripping in front of me, whose mother I just met," I said, trying to sound lazy. He laughed.

"First, we're not nineties! Second, 'muscular hottie', huh?" He asked with a large smirk. My face blushed a deep red.

"W-well, y-you know...I...I-" He cut me off with a hand up.

"I'm kidding. Don't be nervous. Just focus on me, like we're the only ones here. Except for my mother who is going to bring our food but, other than that, we are completely alone."

"Why does that make me more nervous?"

"Because, you want me." My eyes widened as he laughed. I went to reply but wasn't able to because his mother came with our food in hand. She placed the millions of plates down--I will never understand Korea's food things--before patting her son on the head and smiling at me.

When she walked away, I grabbed the chopsticks and dug in. There was ddeokbokki, kimchi, and tons of other things. We ate and chatted for a while and then walked through the park, talking about how Snow and I met, and how he came to BigHit.

By the time we got back to the dorms, it was already dark outside. It's been dark for quite a while now. I wasn't complaining because I had an amazing day. I realized that Jungkook is very hard-working, and impressive all around. He walked me to my door and we stopped in front.  _ Does he know American culture that well? Is he going to kiss me? _

He smiled at me softly. "I had fun tonight, Koda," he stated. 

"I did too." His eyes traveled to my lips and I let my bottom lip out of my teeth. He slowly started to lean in, as did I. Our lips were just about to touch before the door swung open, my arm was grabbed, and I was pulled inside. I looked at a fuming Snow, confused.

"Where the fuck have you been?" I looked at her confused. "You were supposed to be back hours ago!"

"What are you talking about? We weren't gone that long!" I screeched back. She grunted and pointed to the clock. the clock read **03:22 AM** _Oh. Shit._ "Alright, maybe I have...Well, if you were so worried, you could have called!"

"I did call! All of us have been calling since ten!" I rolled my eyes and looked at my phone. I felt embarrassment hit me when I realized that I never turned it back on after the restaurant. As my phone came to life, the notifications started popping in.

**102 Missed Calls**

**144 Kakao Notifications**

"Oops. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you." She sighed and rubbed her temples.

"Just...be careful and leave your phones on. You and Jungkook, both." When she said his name I looked through the peephole and saw a confused look on his face. I opened the door and launched myself onto him, attaching our lips, moving them passionately.

He melted into the kiss. We both pulled away breathing hard. "We should do this again sometime," he breathed. I nodded before placing a lighter kiss on him. I opened my eyes to stare into his beautiful chocolate brown ones.

"I gotta go get yelled at by Snow. Turn on your phone. It's three-thirty in the morning." His eyes widened and he looked at the logo on his now-turning-on phone. He started to run towards the elevator before running back to me, kissing me hard one more time, and running back to the elevator.

"Bye! I'll text you once they revive my lifeless corpse!" he shouted from the elevator. I giggled and waved at him. Turning back around and going inside.

"Did you at least get to ride him?" Snow asked, scrolling through her phone on the couch.

"No! Why would you even think that? This was our first date." She looked up at me, without moving her head up.

"Cause that kiss did  _ not _ look like a 'we did not have amazing sex' kiss," she explained. I shook my head before walking into my room and closing the door. I jumped on my bed, giggling like a schoolgirl. 

_ He kissed me. I can officially say goodbye to any sleep tonight. _


	14. Chapter 14

_ He grabbed my hands and pushed me against the wall, his teeth attacking my neck. I tried to say something but couldn't do anything but whimper. His lips traveled up to my ear. "Moan for me," he grunted, grinding his knee between my legs. _

_ I wrapped one leg around him, giving him easier access, wanting, needing more. I could do nothing but whimper in pleasure. He placed my hands above my head and started kissing me. "Namj-j-j-" he cut me off by biting hard on my neck. _

_ He turned my around and threw me on the bed. He got on top of me, continuing the attack on my neck. I moaned loudly as his hands slid under my shirt, caressing my chest, his other hand pinning my hands above my head again. _

_ I closed my eyes to try and contain myself. It was becoming too much. I could feel him pressing against my stomach. I wanted it; I needed it. I felt his hand remove itself from my chest, whining at the loss of touch _ .  _ His hand slid up my shirt and closed around my neck. _

_My eyes opened and I saw_ **him** _staring back at me, with that all too well known evil smirk across his face. The hand tightened. I tried to scream but nothing came out. My lungs were aching, all the air was releasing while I was trying to take a breath._

_ He removed his hands from my wrists and I immediately tried to rip his hand off of my throat, not seeing him reach under the pillow. He loosened his grip enough for me to breathe. Lifting his hand up, I saw the large butcher knife in his free hand. I went to reach for it but my arms were too short. _

_ A chuckle left his mouth as he brought the knife down and plunged it into my leg. I screamed in pain, begging for him to stop. He withdrew it and licked a line of the blood off. I was screaming as loud as I could, begging for someone to help. _

_ He brought the knife to hover over my face. I took in a deep of breath as I could and let out the loudest screech that I could. The knife started coming towards me. _

"Koda, wake up!" I was being shaken, a voice was screaming at me. I screamed, fighting as hard as I could. "Koda, wake up. It's me, Snow!"

I opened my eyes and saw my room but, it looked...different. Everything was void of color, it looked like one of those noir movies. Snow looked at me like I was insane.  _ What in the absolute fuck? _ I looked at my leg, there was no blood, just the giant scar that has been haunting me for years.

I felt over the scar and it was just that, a scar. I looked up to talk to Snow but she was gone. I looked around the room and she was nowhere, like she had never even come in.  _ What? _ _ Was she really just in here? Where did she go? _

A sickening feeling washed over me. Why is it so quiet? I always sleep with the t.v. on. This looks entirely too...dreary. I hopped out of bed and went into the hallway, everything was still gray, even with the yellow light on. Something is definitely not right with all of this.

"Snow?" I called out. No response. I went and knocked on her door. "Snow? Are you in there?" Again, there was no response. I opened the door and her room looked completely empty except for a perfectly made bed and dresser.  _ I'm in a fucking horror movie. _

I walked out towards the living room and everything looked bland and nothing like our dorm.  _ There is no way that I am at home. _ I thought.  _ I need to check and see if Jungkook knows what is going on. I'm gonna have a panic attack at this rate. _

I ran out the door, clad in only a t-shirt and boxers, and looked at the dorm number. It was correct but, none of this seemed even slightly alright. I ran towards the stairs and bolted as fast as I could to Kookie's dorm. I pounded on the door, not understanding anything that's going on.

The door opened and a sleepy looking Jimin was standing there, rubbing his eyes. "Koda, what are you do-" I cut him off by pushing him in the dorm, then shutting and locking it.

"Jimin, I have no idea what's going on. Everything is gray and I'm freaking out and I have no idea where Snow is and I feel like I'm in a horror movie and-" He grabbed me in a hug and started rubbing my back slowly.

"It's alright, Koda. I'm here. There is nothing out there that you need to worry about." Tears spilled from my eyes from fear. I just want everything to  _ stop being so fucking gray. _ I slowly calmed myself down, him still rubbing my back.

I stopped crying and just started breathing deeply. I suddenly felt myself getting smaller. No. I wasn't getting smaller, Jimin was getting bigger. My body started to shake violently in fear. I pulled away to be met with  _ him _ again.

Trying to back away, I didn't make it far before he tripped me. I fell, landing on my back on the hardwood flooring, a grunt escaping me. I started to back up, seeing that he was still holding that large butcher knife from my dream.

I flipped to my stomach to try and get up to run but he plunged the knife straight into my back. I screamed and dropped back down to the floor, everything below my waist going numb. I tried to crawl only using my hands but I was too slow.

He grabbed my shoulder and flipped me over so I was on my back. He leaned down and put his hand around my throat. "You will never escape me. I  _ own _ you." He raised the knife and I screamed as he brought it down, driving it deep in to my stomach. I coughed and tasted blood.

He pulled the knife out just to stab it in again. I screamed again. My body started shaking again from the blood loss. He looked me in the eye and smirked. "Don't think that I'm done with you, Giovanni." My eyes widened before he disappeared and I woke up.

"Koda! Wake the fuck up!" I heard Snow yell. I opened my eyes and saw her looking at me like I was insane.  _ No. Not this again.  _ I screamed and ran to the corner of my room, curling into myself as I chanted, "It's not real, it's just a dream," over and over again. "Koda, what happened?!"

"Go away! This isn't real! Leave me alone!" I yelled, rocking back and forth. "Please, just go away." I heard some loud pounding and sobbed loudly. I heard footsteps running to the door and it opening.

"What the hell is going on?" A new voice said.  _ Oh God, please don't let it be him coming back for me. _ I heard footsteps getting closer and started breathing harder, which I didn't even think was possible.

Once I heard the footsteps stop in my room, my chest started pounding even harder and my tears fell faster. I looked up from my knees to see two people holding butcher knives. I screamed. "Please! I'll do anything! Please, don't hurt me again. I'll be good, I promise. Just please don't hurt me again."

"What?" I heard the voice say.

"I know. I'm bad, worthless, and pathetic. Please, don't hurt me. I'll do better. I'll be good, I promise," I sobbed.

"What in the fuck is wrong with you two?! You can't just barge in here with butcher knives!" I heard Snow screech. "Jungkook, Jimin, put the fucking knives down!"

_ Jimin? Jungkook? What? _ I looked up from my knees again, this time the light was on. Snow was standing there watching Jimin and Jungkook put their knives on the bed. "I thought you two were in danger. We could hear Koda screaming. The walls are soundproof," Jungkook said.

"We got scared something was wrong," Jimin stated, breathlessly. I just stared at them, hoping they were all real. "Well, we can see we were right." He gestured to me, still in the corner, shaking and holding my legs. Jungkook took a step to come towards me and Snow stepped in front of him.

"Woah there, cowboy. I can take this from here. You guys should go," She warned. Jungkook just looked at her.

"My boyfriend is huddled in a corner, crying his eyes out, and completely distraught. Do you really think I'm gonna leave him right now?" He asked.

"First of all, you have been on one date, that does  _ not _ mean he is your boyfriend, yet. Secondly, I have been handling this for the past four years,  _ alone. And lastly _ , neither of you are even properly dressed," she explained. I totally didn't even notice that Jungkook was only wearing boxers and Jimin was only wearing a long t-shirt that came to his knees. 

"But-" Jimin started but Snow just put her hand up. I couldn't see her expression but I knew that it was not a happy one.

"Like I said, I've been handling this for years. Don't think you can do this better. You being here at this moment, is not helping him, it's making it worse. If you want to help, you guys can go back and get some sleep and I will keep you updated." Snow doesn't mess around when it comes to my mental safety. I'm so lucky to have her.

"Alright, fine. But, you better text me." Jungkook stated, collecting the knives from the bed. I closed my eyes and rested my face on my knees. I wanted to talk but I have no idea what I'd even say.

"And me!" Jimin added. I heard them leave the room and I waited till the front door shut until I opened my eyes. I looked at her and she looked like she just got into a war. I didn't even notice how disheveled her hair was or how stressed she looked.

"Koda," she started. I started crying again, not even realizing that I had stopped after a while.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I'm so sorry," I sobbed. She just came over and sat next to me. My heart tugged at how calm she is about everything with me.

"Don't apologize. I'm just sorry that they came in and made it worse. I opened the door and they just rushed past me straight to your room. It didn't even register that they had the knives until they already were in the room. I didn't even say Hi to Hobi."

"It was a nice thought...even if it did scare me," I added, not touching on the fact that Hobi was there. She nodded. I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Yeah. They do seem a bit protective over you, don't they?" she chuckled. I nodded. "Do you wanna tell me what happened this time?"

I thought about it for a second before nodding. I told her every little detail about the dream. She nodded, looking upset when I started crying. She didn't look angry, she looked...hurt. I feel bad telling her this because I don't want her to be upset or hurt because I'm so fucked in the head.

"Gio," she started. She never used my real name unless it was really serious. "I want you to know, if you  _ ever _ wake up from a nightmare and I am not right next to you, it's not real, you're not awake." I nodded. She held out her arms and I flinched. Her small smile faded for half a second.

I nodded and she wrapped her arms around me. "I will never leave you alone, Giovanni. You're stuck with me forever. I promise." I put my arms around her and laid my head on her shoulder.  _ This is going to be hard to explain tomorrow. _

My phone chimed and I jumped. After calming myself, Snow and I stood up. She went to the kitchen to make some tea and I went to check my phone. It was a message from Yoongi.  _ Oh shit, did I wake him up too?  _ I opened the message and read it.

**MinSuga**

Kookie told me what happened. Are you alright?

If not, then as soon as you are, I want you to come to me.

You know the pass-code to our dorm, come in and we'll talk.

I'm here for you, Koda. You know that. <3

_ What did I do to deserve these wonderful people in my life? _ I put my phone down and Snow came in with some piping hot tea that was very needed. "I love you," I whispered when she handed me the mug. She laughed and sat next to me.

"It's already six. Do you want to stay up or do you want to try and sleep again?" she asked. I took a sip of my tea and shook my head.

"I'll just stay up. We have to be at practice in like two hours." She nodded. "Plus, Yoongi wants me to stop by so we can talk."

"Are you sure you're going to be alright to talk and do practice?" I nodded, not knowing if I would be. I had to at least try, right? I cracked my neck and slightly stretched my body. Snow stood up.

"Are you gonna try and sleep?" I asked. She shook her head.

"No. I'm gonna go take a shower and get ready," she sighed. "I need to get myself all perky and fix these puffy eyes."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm glad that I'm here to help." She gave me a soft smile. "I'll text Kookie and let him know that you're alright."

I nodded and decided I should probably get ready to go to Yoongi's. I took a shower and put on some sweats and a large t-shirt before heading to his room. I entered the code and walked in. Sope were sitting on the couch sipping coffee when I entered. Hobi gave me a warm, yet tired, smile.

"Hey, Kiddo. How are you doing?" he asked. I shrugged. Yoongi stood up and handed me a cup of coffee. I graciously accepted and thanked him.

"Did Kookie wake you guys up just to tell you what happened?" I asked. They shook their heads.

"We all woke up when we heard you scream," Yoongi explained. My eyes widened.

"You heard that too?"

They both nodded. "Actually, all of us heard it. I sent Hobi down after I saw Jungkook and Jimin running to keep a crowd at bay if it formed. He just told me afterwards when I stopped him in the hall."

"Because you knew exactly what it was," I confirmed. He nodded. We sat back down on the couch and I gave them the full rundown of what happened--minus the whole 'Namjoon Erotica part'. Yoongi face-palmed when I told him about the knives. 

"Those thoughtful idiots," he groaned. I gave a soft chuckle. "If anyone asks, you can easily just chalk it up to a painful charlie horse." I nodded.  _ That's not actually a bad idea _ .

"I can't blame them. They have no idea," I reminded him. He nodded.

"I had no idea it was that bad either," Hobi piped up, his face looking of pure shock.

"It wasn't fun. Trust me, you don't want to hear the full story," I promised him.

"I will take your word for it." He looked at his watch, his eyes widening. "Shit, we have to be at practice in like twenty minutes. Babe, let's go take a shower." 

"Do you wanna ride with us?" Yoongi asked. I shook my head.

"No. I think I'm gonna walk and just do some thinking." They nodded. "Thanks for the talk guys. It really helped."

Hobi gave me a hug and one of his 'I am the Sun God smiles'. "Anytime. Our place is always open."

"Thanks. I'll see you guys a little bit later." I waved them goodbye and walked out the door. I turned towards Jikook's door and was going to knock but decided I should just walk to the studio and see them there.

I left the dorms, throwing my headphones in and listening to some calming orchestra versions of Zelda songs. It calms me, especially 'Zelda's Lullaby'. It was a nice walk and it got me feeling a little better than I usually do after these bad nightmares. This one I think was the worst of them. It's never been this bad before.

When I arrived at the studio, I went straight to the practice room and it went dead silent, everyone looking at me, BTS, the dancers, and the managers. Jin walked over to me. "How are you doing? Hobi told us about your charlie horse incident. Are you able to practice today?"

I stared at him before realizing what he said. I nodded and shook my leg dramatically. "It's still a little sore but, I'm better now."

"From your screams, it sounded painful," Namjoon added, walking over.

"Yeah. It was an absolute nightmare," I explained. I saw Jungkook and Jimin snap their heads in my direction. "Thankfully, Snow, being the queen that she is, helped me. If it wasn't for her, I'd be completely out of commission."

"Alright, well, if it gets to be too much, be sure to tell us so you can slow down or stop," Jin reminded me. I nodded. "Alright, everyone, let's get this dance practice started!"

Snow and I watched the dance teacher and Hobi do a dance centered around tutting. I watched in amazement and after a few hours of trying my hardest, we got the choreography down. I would never be able to freestyle but, then again, that doesn't seem so bad. Mad props to the ones that can though.

We practiced for a few hours and by the time we were done, the boys and us were talking while everyone else left. We were laughing talking about the time that Jungkook dared Tae to drink an entire bottle of shampoo and they had to call poison control.

My laughing was cut short by my phone ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket and my heart dropped when I read who was calling. ' **Do Not Answer!** ' lit up the screen. I started coughing violently. Everyone looked at me and Snow knew that was my 'uh oh' cough.

After last night, I just wanted to hear the voice I so desperately needed to feel alright again. Even if it hurt at the same time. I slid my finger across the screen and placed the phone to my ear. 

"Hello?" Snow stared at me with caution on her face. I saw the boys staring at us back and forth.

" _ Hey, Gio. _ "

"Hey, Max." Snow jolted into a standing position, her eyes narrowed angrily. I stood up too and walked to the other side of the room for a little bit of privacy. My stomach was churning as I heard his voice. Snow followed me cautiously.

" _ I got some news. Are you sitting down? _ " I licked my lips, hoping it was something stupid but knowing Max, it wasn't. I noticed that the boys had their eyes on us and weren't moving a muscle.

"Yeah, I'm sitting down. What's going on?" I lied, trying to keep my voice under control. Max was always able to read me like an open book so I had to be extra careful with how I sounded.

"I'm getting married."


	15. Chapter 15

" _ I'm getting married. _ " When those words left his mouth, I felt a large 'pang' in my chest. I clutched where my heart was and jolted a little bit.

"Oh my god, Max. That's awesome!" Snow looked at me worried. Her arms a little outstretched as if I was going to fall. I made eye contact with her. "Who is the lucky bride-to-be?" Her face turned from suspicious to pity in a matter of half of a second.

" _ Um...that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. It's...uh...Laura. _ " My vision went blurry. I backed up to the wall and sat myself down.

"Oh, as in, Laura Marks?" I was mentally begging for that not to be the answer. Snow's expression turned to one of fury. I haven't seen her get that mad before. She looked like steam was going to come out of her ears.

" _ Uh...yeah. That Laura." My  _ Laura. " _ I was curious if you wanted to come to the wedding. _ "

"When is it?" I asked, not even wanting to hear the answer. Snow was sitting next to me now, listening to the conversation.

" _ December 5th." _

"That's next month. Doesn't that seem kind of rushed?" I inquired, internally fuming. Snow had to cover her mouth so she wouldn't say anything that would be incriminating.  _ That's only a week from when I go on stage with IU. _

" _ Yeah, we've been engaged for about nine months now. We just didn't know how you'd react or if you'd even want to go." _ I swallowed my words before they turned nasty.

"Oh! Congratulations. I didn't have any idea. I'm really happy for you guys," I lied through my teeth. I was so livid that I didn't even notice a tear escape my eye until Snow handed me a tissue.

" _ You really mean that?" _ _ No, Max, I fucking DON'T. "I'm so glad to hear it! Do you think you'll be able to make it? Are you still in Arizona?" _

"I'm not sure. I'm surprised you haven't heard. The group got moved to Korea to work with BTS. I've been here for a while now," I explained.

" _ I'm so happy for you! You've wanted to move out there since forever."  _ My tears kept falling at a slow pace. Yoongi stood up and walked over to sit down on my other side, eyeing me carefully. 

"Yeah, I've gotten along great with the other guys. I wasn't expecting them to be but, they're really amazing," I explained, giving Yoongi a sad smile. He returned a soft smile that I could tell was worried.

" _ I'm really happy to hear that. Do you still...have the...you know?"  _ I internally growled at his question.

"Yes, I do." I don't want to talk to him about this. I'm just gonna think about last night and I really don't want to.

" _ How are you handling that?" _ Why does he still act like he cares? It's obviously a bunch of crap.

"I'm fine," I lied. "Snow has been there."

" _ Every night?" _ he asked. Now, I  _ know _ that he's just trying to act all sweet and shit.

"Yes, Maximilian, every night," I was starting to get angry. Snow obviously could tell due to the way she ripped the phone from me.

"Hey, Maxxy Boy, Snow here, glad to hear about the nuptials. If he can make it, he'll be bringing a date. I'll have our people call your people, alright? Bye!" she squeaked before slamming her finger on the screen to end the call. "You know, it's moments like this when I miss flip phones the most. It was so much more satisfying when you hang up on someone." 

She handed me back my phone and I sighed. "Are you alright?" Yoongi asked, a look of concern on his face. I nodded softly.

"Are we done for today?" I asked him. He nodded. "Alright, I'm gonna go out for a bit."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Snow asked. I shook my head.

"No. I kinda just want to think for a bit. I'll see you guys later," I responded. I turned to walk out and heard Jungkook start to say my name but Yoongi stopped him.  _ I am thankful for that man. _ I thought.

After quickly running home and removing my Koda costume, throwing on some jeans, a black t-shirt, a short wig and a jacket, I decided that I wanted some fun or--realistically--something to take the pain in my chest away. It didn't take me long to locate the nearest bar that I could and chug three vodka cranberries.

A random girl sat at the bar next to me. "You look miserable," she said. I rolled my eyes.  _ That's a great way to start a conversation, hoe! _ I turned to give her a snotty remark and was met with the eyes of IU. My eyes widened and I gave a half bow, realizing how much the alcohol hit me.

"I do?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yeah. You look like someone just killed the love of your life," she explained. I nodded. Her eyes widened. "Oh my god, did that actually happen?"

"Might as well have," I groaned. "The love of my life just called me to tell me he's getting married to my ex girlfriend." Her mouth dropped. "And, he invited me to the wedding." 

"Oh my god. That's horrible!" she barked. I jumped at her loud tone, not expecting it. "You know what?" I looked at her, she was looking around the room. "Follow me."

She threw some money on the counter, as did I, and I followed her out to her car. She opened the back door and waved me in. I got in the car and slid over so she could follow me. She said something to the driver in Korean and I wasn't paying attention to what she said.

The car started driving and I just stared out the window, not paying attention to where we were going or how long we had been driving. The alcohol was barely making me tipsy. When that happens, that's how I know that I'm totally in my head, a place I should never be.

After a while, the car came to a stop and I looked at IU. She was giving me a large smile. I gave her a small one back and followed her when she exited the car. We were at some random place and there was a small food place covered by a tent where she led me into.

We sat at a table and she got up to go to the front. When she came back, she gave me an innocent smile that made me extremely suspicious. An older lady came by with 10 green bottles of something. She placed them on the table and IU split them in half then gave me a shot glass. I immediately understood.

She poured my glass then I poured hers. "What is this?" I asked, inquisitively. 

"This is going to solve your problems for the next few hours," she sang. Her voice is beautiful, like a lullaby.

"That's all I need to know," I responded, taking the shot and hissing at the burning liquid flowing down my esophagus. My phone started ringing, I took it out and saw that Banoodle was calling again. I sighed and turned my phone off.

"Was that him?" she asked. I nodded. She gave me a small, knowing smile. "Tell me what happened."

I don't know what came over me but I told her everything about him from start to finish, even touching on some of the more sensitive abuse history he helped me from. Tears were actively flowing about halfway through the conversation. By the time I was done, I just grabbed one of the green bottles and started chugging.

IU followed suit and sooner, rather than later, we were already done with three bottles each and were both wasted. She grabbed my phone without me knowing and turned it on. It started ringing a minute later. She waved the phone, showing that he was calling again. I tried to grab the phone but couldn't get to it before she answered it.

"Hello?" she said in Korean. She rolled her eyes when he started talking. I stifled a laugh. "Oh. I don't think that would be a good idea right now. He's wasted. He doesn't even know where he is. I think I'm gonna take advantage that Koda is right in front of me and have my way with him."

My eyes widened.  _ What the hell is she going to do?! _

"Don't worry. I won't take off his mask but the media is going to love the pictures I'm gonna post. Tell your little friend to say bye bye to his career!" She ended the call. I just stared at her in confusion. "If he really is worried about you, he'll be calling back in half a second." Right on time, the phone started ringing again. She turned it back off and handed it to me.

"You are evil, IU," I giggled. A comfortable warmness was very present in my body, a good contrast to the cold air outside. She giggled, then it hit me. "How the hell did you know that I'm Koda?"

"Dude, really? You're a white boy that was in a bar next to big hit, obviously wearing a wig, and is twice the size of everyone in the bar," she scoffed. My face dropped, looking at my stomach.

"I know that I'm fat, okay? You don't have to point it out," I whispered covering my body with my jacket.

She rolled her eyes at me. "You know that's not what I meant."

I shrugged, opening another bottle and taking a few drinks. The burn from the alcohol had disappeared after the second bottle, thankfully. My vision was starting to get shaky. The room started spinning and everything went dark.


	16. Chapter 16

**_3rd POV_ **

Snow was pacing around the room, panicking. Koda wasn't answering his phone and she got a disturbing message from Banoodle on Facebook, telling her about the conversation he just had. Jin, Namjoon, and Hoseok were in Inamorata's dorm, brainstorming on what to do while the other four were out looking for him.

"You know, this would be a lot easier if we all knew what you guys actually looked like," Jin piped up. Snow rolled her eyes at him.

"Not really because, even out of costume, we look different daily," she explained. "Different wigs, clothes, everything." She flung herself on the chair, huffing in anger and fear. "This could be very bad."

"A little alcohol isn't going to kill him," Namjoon stated. Snow narrowed her eyes and looked at him, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Last time this douchebag was involved with us, he was in the hospital for days due to alcohol poisoning," she barked. Hobi gasped, realizing what could be happening right now. He stood up and grabbed his phone off the counter. "What are you doing?"

"Calling the only other person who can help us," he stated. He tapped on his phone a few times before bringing it to his ear. The phone rang a few times before someone picked up.

"Hell- _ hiccup _ -Hello?" the voice answered. Hoseok groaned.  _ She is going to be of no help. _ He thought.

"IU Noona, we need your help," he explained. Everyone in the room perked up and looked confused as to why he was calling her.

"What can I help with?" she slurred. He heard a loud crash then people laughing. "I'm already helping someone, is it important?"

"Yes! We can't find Koda! We've been looking every-" he started but was cut off by her laughing.

"He's with me, sunshine face," she giggled. Hobi's eyes widened. "We're having a good old time!"

"He's with you?!" Hobi barked into the phone. Everyone stood up, crowding around the rapper.

"Yeah, he needed to vent," she said, plainly.

"Is he wasted?" he asked. Snow looked at him.

"Oh yeah, he's so gone. We were laughing cause he fell but now he's sitting at the table crying because men are pieces of shit," she growled. Hobi nodded to Snow and she started breathing deeply.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"We in Seoul," she stated.

" _ Where _ in Seoul?"

"We're in Namdaemun. Why?" she grunted.

"Stay there!" Hobi barked, hanging up the phone. He immediately called Yoongi, who was searching with Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin.

"What's up?" Yoongi answered.

"I found him. He's drunk with IU in Namdaemun."

"Heading there now. I'll text you when we have him."

"Sounds good." Hobi hung up the phone and the rest of the boys were off.

"Who was that?" Jimin asked.

"It was Hobi. He found him. He's wasted with IU at Namdaemun market," Yoongi sighed. "When we get there, prepare for a shit storm."

"What do you mean?" Jungkook asked.

"The last time he got wasted, it almost killed him because he didn't stop," Yoongi explained, remembering what Koda had told him.

"Oh," Jungkook whispered as the other two gasped. "We have to hurry." Yoongi sped up trying to get to the market. Without knowing exactly where they were, it was going to take a bit to find them.

When they got to the market, they hopped out of the car. Jimin and Taehyung took the east side, and the others took the west. Yoongi was running in and out of places until he ran inside a tent, Jungkook running behind him.  _ There he is. _

Koda was sitting at one of the tables, crying, while IU stuffed chicken nuggets in his mouth. He chewed them, swallowed, then went back to sobbing. He looked up and saw Yoongi and Jungkook and stared in shock.

"H-how did you find me?" Koda sniffled. Wiping his eyes. He tried to stand up but gravity decided to hate him. He stood, holding onto the table for support and took another large gulp of the drink. Yoongi walked over to him and took the drink from Koda, earning a whine from the younger.

"That's enough alcohol," Yoongi said. He turned to IU and held his hand out. "Give me your phone." She handed it to him, giggling. Yoongi went through the contact till he found her manager's name and called him to get her.

Yoongi wrapped an arm around Koda, earning a jolt from him. "Please, don't." Koda whispered. Yoongi frowned but didn't let go.

"I need to help you to the car. You can't walk on your own," Yoongi explained. Jungkook nodded from the doorway, too nervous to approach his--hopefully--soon to be boyfriend. Yoongi walked him over to the doorway and stopped.

"The bunny boy is here!" Koda chimed, giggling. It was mood swing central in Koda's brain at the moment. Jungkook blushed and nodded. He held his hand up to stroke Koda's face but Koda flinched and opened his eyes in fear. Koda went to speak but Yoongi walked out, Jungkook trailing a little bit behind.

Jungkook was sulking, not because of Koda's state but the fact that he flinched when he tried to touch him. It broke the little bunny's heart to think that Koda thinks of him as dangerous. He wouldn't hurt a hair on Koda's head.

During the car ride, Koda was sitting in the back seat, head down, tears dripping on to his lap. He was by the window with Tae and Jimin to the left of him so that Yoongi could see him by turning his head, just to keep an eye on him.

When they arrived at the dorm, Koda was riding piggyback on Yoongi. Jungkook opened the door and walked in, the others trailing behind.

"Oh, thank God. I was so nervous," Snow squeaked.

"Hobi! You're here!" Koda slurred. "And pinky and the brain!" Koda sang. He looked a mess. Yoongi brought Koda to his bed and Jungkook helped place him on the bed. Koda grabbed Jungkook's hand and pulled him on to the bed. "Stay with me, Kookie. I don't want to be alone right now."

Jungkook gave Koda a sad smile and nodded. The older wrapped his arm around the younger, placing his head on his chest. Yoongi walked out of the room to the rest of the crowd.

"He's wrapped around Kookie like a snake," Yoongi explained. Hobi's head snapped to his boyfriend.

"I hate snakeu!" Hoseok growled. (A/N: I fucking had to. I'm dying lmfao. Ok I'm done.)

"I worry too much about that kid," Snow stated, her face in her hands.

"Has he always been this self destructive?" Namjoon asked, clutching Jin's hand. Snow looked up at them and sighed.

"I met him when we worked together at a movie theater. It was after he was in a very long and severely abusive relationship. By the time we became friends he was so broken, so...gone. I don't know what he was like before the relationship but, his mom said he's a completely different person," she explained.

"What do you mean?" Jin asked. 

"He was scared of everything. If someone walked over to him too fast, he'd start shaking and apologizing. If anything dropped and made a loud noise, he'd scream and cower in fear. He has nightmares every night. That's what you guys heard that morning. It wasn't a charlie horse, it was him coming out of a nightmare."

Jin gasped. "They're that bad?" he asked. Snow nodded. "That poor thing."

"It was the first time he actually looked scared of even me," she added. "It was devastating to know that I couldn't help him at that moment." Taehyung went and sat down next to her, handing her tea and rubbing her back. "Thanks, Tae."

"So, is that why he was drinking so much?" Jimin asked. Snow shook her head.

"No. This was a different situation," she started. As she explained the situation to the boys, Jungkook was playing with Koda's hair in the room, listening to the quiet sobs coming from the older.

"Kookie?" Koda broke the sad silence. Jungkook tilted his head and hummed in response. "Why do you like me?"

Jungkook furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

Koda sat up, looking at Jungkook. "I mean, why do you like me. I'm not attractive," Koda starts. Jungkook pushed himself into a sitting position, his brows still furrowed. "I'm not talented; I'm not smart; I'm fat; I'm worthless...I'm a broken mess."

Jungkook's heart broke hearing what the older thought about himself. He grabbed the sobbing man and hugged him. "I never want to hear you talk about yourself like that again. You're beautiful, Koda. Inside and out. You aren't worthless, you aren't fat, you  _ are  _ talented, and you are smart. Never say anything like that about my boyfriend again."

Koda's eyes widened. "B-boyfriend?" Koda pulled away from the hug, staring at the blushing bunny in confusion.

"If you'll have me," Jungkook stated, smiling. Koda nodded and immediately captured his lips.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Koda asked in between kisses. Jungkook wrapped his arm around Koda's waist and pulled him so the older was straddling him. The kiss started getting heated, Koda was grinding on top of Jungkook, making the younger whimper and moan.

Koda grabbed the hem of Jungkook's shirt and lifted it over his head, placing his hands all over Jungkook's chest. He raked his nails down his chest and the younger bucked his hips up, grinding harder on Koda. Koda started kissing his neck, leaving little bites here and there before kissing all down his chest.

Koda got to the waistband of Jungkook's sweatpants and looked up at the younger who was breathing heavily. "Time to show you what happens when you're mine," Koda warned, palming the erection though the material. He placed a kiss right where the skin met fabric and bit the waistband, pulling the material down.


	17. Chapter 17

"And that's why he has such a fear of being touched and why the phone call messed him up so bad," Snow finished telling what happened. There wasn't a dry eye in the room. Even Yoongi and Hobi, who knew the story, still were crying.

"I had no idea," Jimin cried. "Poor Koda. That's devastating." He put his face in his hands, tears falling through his fingers.

Jin stood up, a look of anger on his face, even with the tears streaming down his face. He turned, facing away from everyone. "How could someone do that to him?" Namjoon stood up, walking over to his boyfriend. He rubbed his shoulders.

"I wonder that every day," Snow whispered. Tae placed his hand on her shoulder and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Koda is someone that doesn't love with all of his heart, he's someone that loves with everything he is. Apparently that allows him to be taken advantage of."

"You know what this means, right?" Tae asked. Snow nodded, not removing her head from his shoulder.

"This is gonna send him on a downward spiral. He's probably going to try to stop eating again. Jimin sighed deeply.

Jin growled. "That's it." He walked over to the table and grabbed his phone.

"What are you doing?" Snow asked.

"I'm creating a group chat, without Koda. This boy needs to be on lock down. Every time someone sees him eat, we send the time in the group chat," he demanded. All of the group nodded in agreement. "You and Koda are part of this family. We take care of our own."

"Thank you," Snow said, sniffling. She was so scared for Koda. She thought that he was going to get better. The two males hadn't had more than two conversations in the past four years. She had hoped deeply that Max would just stay out of Koda's life, knowing that Koda was weak for the older.

As if on cue, Snow's phone started to ring. She looked and saw it was a Facebook messenger call. She rolled her eyes and answered the call.

"Hello, Maxine!" Jin's eye twitched when he heard her say the name.

" _ Stop calling me that!"  _ Snow smirked, knowing he'd hate that.

"Maximus?"

" _ No." _

"Magnum?"

_ "Nope. _ "

"Daddy?"

" _ Absolutely not!" _

"Father?"

" _ Stop it." _

"Papa?"

" _ I hate you, _ " he whined. " _ Did you find him? _ "

Snow sighed. "Yes, Maximilian, we found him and he's safe at home."

" _ Was he really wasted?" _

"Yes, he was-" Snow was cut off by Jin walking over and grabbing the phone from her hand.

"Hi, Max, is it? This is Jin, Koda's new found mother. The absolute nerve you have to call to check on my son when  _ you  _ are the reason that he is like this at the moment, is complete bullshit. He will not be going to your wedding because I simply will not  _ allow  _ it."

_ "But-" _ Max tried to talk but Jin cut him off.

"Do  _ not _ interrupt me, child! I will not allow this poor man to be subject to any more emotional torture that you plan to give him. You should have known he wouldn't be alright and yet you still had the nerve to call him after all this time of completely ignoring him to tell him, not only are you getting married but, you are getting married to  _ his ex _ of all people. Do not call either one of my children again. Good day." Jin ended the call with an angry finger before handing the phone back to a shocked looking Snow.

"Wow, Hyung, that was...angry," Jimin mused. "I haven't seen you go all mama bear on someone like that before."

Jin was trembling from anger. "I haven't had someone completely disrespect my child like that man has done. He has no business speaking to anyone in our family."

Snow stood up, taking a deep breath. "I'm gonna go check on him." She walked down the hallway to his room and opened the door. She was met with a sleeping bunny with Koda wrapped around him, sleeping as well. They were under the covers and for the first time in years, Koda looked like he was having a good dream.

When Snow walked back into the living room, she had tears in her eyes. "Are you alright, Snow?" Tae asked. Jimin and Jin ran over to her looking down the hallway then back at her. She took off her mask, making the others gasp.

"My heart hurt seeing him and knowing what he must be going through in his head. He's wrapped around Kookie and both sleeping. I thought since you guys have seen him without a mask, might as well see me too," she explained.

"You were the two that came to the fan meeting!" Taehyung piped up. Snow nodded.

"We thought we'd have some fun with you guys and see if you would notice," Snow said. Jimin made an 'O' with his mouth. After a bit of silence, Snow started sobbing. Jin embraced her in a hug. "I'm so scared."

"I know," Jin cooed, hugging the younger.

"This almost killed him last time and I don't know what I'm gonna do if he tries again and it works. I can't lose him, guys. I can't lose him," she sobbed even harder into Jin's shoulder.

Jimin came over and joined the hug. "You're- We're not going to lose him. It may have been bad before, and I know you said you've been doing this alone for years now but, you don't have to do it alone anymore."

Snow looked at Jimin, tears still running down her face, lip trembling.

"He's right. Now that we know what's going on, we can be here to help," Namjoon added.

"We are going to have to tell Jungkook what you told us. He needs to understand because he's the closest to him," Jin explained. Snow shook her head.

"Yoongi and Hobi are closer. They've known about this for weeks," she informed. All their eyebrows shot up and looked over at Sope. They nodded. "Jungkook may get closer but Yoongi and Hobi are already close. I mean, nobody will ever be closer to him than me but, they're the next best thing."

"That group chat is a good idea. One of us is always with him, there shouldn't be anything that could slip past us," Yoongi agreed. "Especially now that we know everything that's going on. He didn't even tell me the full story."

"Do you guys want to see the cutest thing ever?" Snow asked. They all looked at each other and nodded. She waved at them to follow her as she walked down the hallway to Koda's door. She opened the door and saw the adorable sleeping ones. Jin covered his heart and Namjoon was stroking Jin's arms, his head on Jin's shoulder. They looked like a married couple looking at their sleeping children.

Just then, Koda started breathing heavy and whimpering. Snow's head snapped to the younger, who started talking in his sleep. "Please, don't," he cried. Snow started to bolt to his side when Jungkook jolted awake, hugging Koda closer to him.

"It's okay, baby. I'm right here. Listen to my voice. You're safe. Nobody's gonna hurt you. I'm right here. I'm right here," Jungkook chanted. The sleeping boy's whimpers started to slow to a stop before he relaxed and pulled Jungkook tighter. Snow just stared at him in shock; nobody has ever been able to do that before.

"You calmed him in his sleep? How did you do that?" Snow asked. She looked at the door and saw the others looking just as shocked as her. Jungkook shrugged.

"I don't know. I panicked and just started trying to comfort him. It seemed to have worked," he explained, still half asleep. Snow just nodded and gave him a small smile.

"You're a good bunny," she said, making the younger roll his eyes.

"Thanks," he responded, sarcastically.

Snow hesitated before she spoke. "We're going to need to have a conversation soon."

Jungkook nodded. "About Koda?"

"About his past," she said. "I already told the others but just a little preview, your now in a group chat without Koda where we are going to have to text each other when he eats."

Jungkook furrowed his brows. "IU was literally shoving chicken nuggets into his mouth. Should we really worry about him eating?" Realization hit him when he said the words.  _ She was forcing him to eat. _ "Does he not usually eat?"

"He sometimes goes days without eating and he'll make up very convincing arguments that he did eat without actually lying," she explained. He nodded. "I'm just in pure shock that he's letting you touch him. He still flinches when I try to."

Tears started filling Jungkook's eyes. "He's a lot more hurt than I thought, isn't he?"

Snow and the other boys nodded. "Jin was ready to kill that doofus that called earlier when he called again. He grabbed the phone from her and started flipping out," Namjoon explained. Jungkook's eyes widened. He turned his head to look at Snow.

"Is it really that bad?" Jungkook asked. Snow nodded, a few tears falling.

"He's um...he's kind of emotionally destroyed, even though he tries to hide it," she whispers, staring at the sleeping boy. Jungkook waved Yoongi over and he slowly slid out of his spot and motioned for Yoongi to take his spot. He nodded and obliged, Koda immediately wrapped around the older boy.

"Let's talk. I don't want to wait," he explained. Snow nodded and walked him out to the living room, the rest of the boys following. Taehyung sat on the chair so that Jungkook could sit next to Snow on the couch.

"We're out of tissues. We need more for this story," Jin said, walking to the bathroom to get more.

"Especially if we're gonna hear this story for the second time," Taehyung agreed. Hobi and Jimin nodded while Jin rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, closing his eyes. Jungkook saw the reactions and got nervous.  _ What happened to him? _ Jungkook thought.

When Jin came back from the bathroom with another package of tissues, Snow told Jungkook the whole story. Jungkook tried for as long as he could to keep his tears in but he was sobbing by the end. Jimin came over and hugged his younger band mate, placing his chin on his shoulder.

"How many times did he try to...?" Jungkook asked.

"Seven."

He choked on a sob and covered his face.

"The bandages on his sides need to be changed again," Hobi spoke up for the first time in a while. Everyone's heads snapped to him. "Long story, we've cried enough." Jungkook stood up and walked back to Koda's room, the rest of them following behind him.

Yoongi mouthed to Jungkook if he wanted him to move and Jungkook shook his head. They were all gathered around his bed. Jungkook reached for the hem of Koda's shirt and Yoongi grabbed his hand, shaking his head as a warning. Jungkook used his free hand to move Yoongi off of him.

He took in a deep breath before he lifted the side of his shirt. The sight made everyone start bawling. There wasn't a bandage on it, just a massive amount of cuts on his side. Yoongi was even crying, noticing there were three times what was there last time he saw them. There were even some new ones that look like they were done this morning.

Jungkook covered his mouth to silence his sobs and walked out of the room. He sat down on the couch placing his face in his hands. Snow came over and sat down next to him. She was completely dumbfounded that she didn't realize he was cutting again.

A sick sadness washed over the room when everyone was in it. "I am so sorry that you guys got dragged into this," Snow said. "I shouldn't have even said anything and just left you guys out of it and found him myself."

"Don't," Tae said, wiping his eyes. "Like Jin-hyung said, we protect our own. I'm glad you called us, and trusted us enough to tell us your stories. It really means a lot, Snow."

"It's Ali." The group looked shocked as Snow said her real name.

"Ali," Jin started. "We're family now and we are going to be here to help you and help Koda. We just got you and we're not gonna lose you." Namjoon nodded along to his boyfriend's words.

"Plus, now that we have you, you'll never be able to escape. Once you Jimin you can't Jimout!" Tae said, trying to lighten the mood. Jin gave a small smile 

and walked over to hug the puppy-like boy.

"This is why you're my favorite son," Jin said. Jimin pouted.

"Rude!" Jimin huffed.

"We're gonna stay here tonight, if that's alright," Namjoon stated. "Just to keep an eye on things."

Snow nodded with a small smile. "I would like that. Thank you."


	18. Chapter 18

I opened my eyes and looked up to see Yoongi playing on his phone. My eyes widened. "Yoongi?!" I jumped up. He looked at me confused. "What the hell happened? How did I get home?"

Yoongi sat up, furrowing his brows. "You don't remember anything?"

I shook my head. "No. Last thing I remember is opening my second bottle and then, nothing."

Yoongi's eyes widened. "Oh, shit." He stood up and walked out of the room. I followed him to the living room and saw all of the boys there. All eyes were on me as I walked out. Everyone's eyes were red and puffy.  _ What the fuck happened? _ "Drunky is awake and remembers nothing."

Jungkook's mouth dropped slightly.  _ Uh oh, that can't be good.  _ "You don't remember anything at all?" Jungkook asked.

I shook my head. "Last thing I remember is opening the second bottle of alcohol."

"It was Soju," Yoongi stated.  _ Oh, that's what she gave me. _ "Well, it took us forever to track you down. When we finally got to you guys, IU was stuffing your face full of chicken nuggets while you were sobbing on the table."

My eyes widened. "God damn it, Giovanni, you scared me half to death," Snow complained.  _ Oh shit, she used my name. _ It was then I realized that she didn't have her mask on anymore.  _ Oh, we getting real open with the boys, huh? _

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you, I just needed to think," I explained. "What happened after you found me?"  _ Please, tell me I didn't do anything bad. _

"Well you-" Snow started.

"Did absolutely nothing." Jungkook quickly cut her off. Everyone looked at him. He stood up and walked over to me. "Can we talk?" I nodded and he walked towards my room, closing the door as I entered.

"What's up, JungleBook?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood. He was fidgeting with his hands and not looking at me.

"You don't remember our talk? Like...at all?" he asked. I tried to think but my head just started to hurt so I shook my head. "Oh."

"Was it something important?" I asked, nervously. I hope that I didn't say anything bad.

"Well, I kind of feel like I took advantage of you now," he mumbled. My eyes widened and I tilted my head.

"What do you mean? What happened?" I croaked, terrified of the answer.

"Well, you were crying," he started. I put my face in my hands. "You asked me why I liked you, saying that you were ugly, talent-less, horrible, and pathetic. That upset me that you think all those things about yourself when none of them are true. I gave you a hug and asked you to be mine."

My head snapped up to look at him. "How wasted was I? What did I say? Tell me that I didn't slap you or something," I begged.

"Well, you actually sounded totally sober," he mused. I face-palmed.

"If you ever know I've been drinking but I sound sober, I'm completely wasted and will not remember anything when I wake up," I explained. He nodded, his eyes wide.

"Well, you kissed me," he said. I bit my lips. "Then things got a little heated and then you..." he trailed off and I knew exactly what he was saying.

"Oh my god. I'm an idiot," I whined. Jungkook looked a little hurt and I realized what I said. "No! Kookie, I meant I'm an idiot for drinking so much. I don't regret that at all!"

Jungkook gave me a small smile. "Really?"

"Really! But, however, I do have one question," I said. He nodded. "Did I at least swallow?"

Jungkook's face turned into a tomato. He covered his mouth and giggled before nodding. "Yeah, you did...twice." My eyes widened.

"Well, at least I did something right," I chuckled. Jungkook face palmed. He grabbed me, pulling me to the bed; I was shaking but forcing myself to get over it. He planted little kisses on my face and neck. I closed my eyes, forcing myself to enjoy it.

"I'm gonna make you so happy, Giovanni," he crooned. My eyes snapped open.  _ He just said my real name. What the fuck? _

"W-what did you just call me?" I choked. He hovered his face over mine.

"Giovanni,"  _ kiss. _ "Stefano,"  _ kiss.  _ "Di Laurentiis,"  _ kiss.  _ I quickly sat up. "Ali told us your names, saying that it was kind of pointless anymore." I thought about it for a second.  _ Well, I guess she's right. I've had three of their dicks in me already so, might as well. _

"So, does this mean I'm your boyfriend now?" I asked, sheepishly.

"Well you never did give me an answer. You gave me toe curling pleasure but not an answer."

"Yes," I declared. He smiled at me, grabbed my face and kissed me again. We separated and I got on a cocky smirk. "'Toe curling', huh?" He rolled his eyes and grabbed my butt. I squeaked in surprise.

"I've seen what you can do," he whispered, biting my ear, making me shiver. "Just want till you see what I can do."

I groaned at the feeling, my shaking had gone from fear to excitement.

"If you think playing with Sope was fun, wait till the golden maknae gets a hold of you," he purred. He kissed my neck and I moaned. 

"He's got a hold on me now," I grunted. He pushed me down on the bed, his thicc thigh between my legs, rubbing, making me mewl.

"I know what you did, baby boy," he said, pressing a soft hand to my side. My eyes opened wide. He pulled back and looked at me _.  _ I felt tears starting to sting my eyes. One fell down my cheek and he kissed it away. "Right now," he looked at me with such a hot expression. "I'm gonna make you forget your own fucking name."

I gasped.  _ Oh, damn. _


	19. Chapter 19

"Can we talk?" Jungkook asked. Koda nodded and followed him back into the room, giving the others time to come up with a plan. As soon as the door shut, all the boys and Snow gathered around the coffee table, talking quietly as to not to be heard by the young ones.

"He can't know that you guys know what happened to him. At least, not  _ yet _ . He doesn't trust you guys that well," Snow stated. Jin and Sope looked at her, offended. She rolled her eyes. "That level of trust is unlocked at friendship-level thirteen. Y'all are at about level six. Yoongi and Hobi are at about a level eleven."

"I'm alright with that," Hobi said. Yoongi nodded. "So, what's the plan?"

"First, we can't leave him by himself; his mind is going a million miles a minute and we need to distract him. Second, Jin started that group chat. I don't care if he nibbles on a cracker, I want to know about it. Third, we need to find all of his razors and get them away from him. If his sides are that bad, it's because there is no more room left on his legs."

A tear rolled down Jimin and Jin's faces. "What?" Jin whisper-asked. Snow nodded.

"His thighs are probably destroyed right now. He feels that he...deserves...to be hurt," she whispered, more tears falling. Taehyung wrapped an arm around her and she leaned on him. Jimin eyed them suspiciously. 

"Nobody deserves that. Especially not Koda. He's been hurt more than most people will feel in their entire lives," Namjoon said.

"I'm glad he didn't ask if we were crying when he came out here," Taehyung finally spoke. Snow nodded.

"He won't if it's a bunch of people. He's scared it's something he caused," she explained. The rest nodded, understanding. "How are we going to convince him not to go to the wedding?"

"I'm pretty sure I shot that horse in the face," Jin smirked. Snow shook her head.

"No. Max won't take what anyone says as truth unless he hears it from Koda's mouth, himself. He's stubborn and the problem is, he knows that, even after all the pain, Koda will still come running at the drop of a hat."

Jimin hit the ground next to him. "No. Nobody is allowed to have that power over him." Namjoon gave the crying mochi a one armed hug. "He's a human fucking being for fucks sake."

Namjoon nodded. "Nobody should have to be a slave to someone like that," he agreed with Jimin.

"I tried to help him," Yoongi stated, blankly. Snow looked at him. "That night we all went to the club, we took him home and while doing things, we saw all the scars, the cuts, and the bandages." Hoseok squeezed his boyfriend's hand. Everyone was looking at the two.

"We didn't think much of the bandages until we woke up the next morning and saw them soaked with blood," Hoseok cried. Jimin choked a sob back, covering his face with his hands. Taehyung had tears running down his face again.

"We changed the bandages and the cuts had scabbed over by that time but, there was so much blood. It looked like a murder scene. I forced him to talk to me, that's where the picture from the magazine was taken. He was telling me his past and I was trying to comfort him," Yoongi cried.

"He always seemed so happy," Jin stated, angered about his 'son' being harmed, even by himself.

"Giovanni is one of the best actors you will ever meet. The only reason I know when he's acting is that when he meets my eyes, they tell me absolutely everything," Snow whispered. "He doesn't even try to hide it from me, because of how I know his entire past. I experienced a lot of it with him. Especially Max."

Suddenly, the talking stopped and everyone looked at Jin. The remnants of what once was a wine glass sticking out of his hand. "Don't." Namjoon got up and walked over with a towel. "Don't say that name again," Jin deadpanned. "That man has nothing to do with Koda anymore. I will make sure of it."

"So, we have the plan set?" Taehyung asked. All of them nodded while Namjoon was patching up his boyfriend's hand.

Namjoon finished fixing Jin's hand and threw out the bloody towel that contained all of the glass. He stood up straight. "If we can't convince him to stay away from the wedding," Namjoon started. "We'll just have to go with him, now won't we?" A smirk crossed his face, the rest of the group mirroring his expression.

"I'm gonna go talk to him," Jin said, standing and walking down the hallway. Snow nodded. He came back a few seconds later, eyes wide. "I'm not gonna talk to him."

"What happened?" Jimin asked. Everyone looked towards them.

"They're talking about important things," he explained with a fishy tone. Snow narrowed her eyes in confusion.

"What are they saying?" The nervousness was evident in her voice.

"Oh, you know. The usual stuff like, 'harder', 'faster', 'it's so good', and stuff like that," Jin chuckled. 

Snow face-palmed. "That hoe," she chuckled. The air around the room seemed a little lighter with that comment. "I'm just glad that he's obviously well enough after yesterday."

"We need to talk to BigHit about soundproofing," Jin said to Namjoon and he nodded with wide eyes.

Just then, a loud " _ Fuck!" _ ripped through the dorm. "Welp, he found his spot alright," Yoongi stated, giggling.

"He  _ is  _ the golden maknae, after all," Hobi agreed. Jin glared at them.

"I do not need to hear my son doing that to someone we were just crying over less than five minutes ago," Jin stated.

"Well, get used to it. Koda likes to please; apparently, so does Kookie," Snow chuckled.

"Alright, that's enough noise for me," Taehyung started as he stood up. Snow pouted at the loss of her human pillow. "If we're going to a wedding, then Jimin and I need to plan." He smirked and took the hand of the blonde in front of him.


	20. Chapter 20

The next few days, Koda was being watched like a hawk. He started to notice but thought they were just being a little more overprotective due to the drunken issue the other day.

The group kept making sure that they ate at the same time everyday. Koda would try to politely refuse but they forced him. Koda started becoming paranoid that he was going to gain weight and Jungkook would leave him. He ended up resorting to excusing himself to a private bathroom after each meal, citing stomach pain as the reason.

**Jin**

I can guarantee he's puking in the bathroom right now.

**Snow**

We need to bring in the big guns.

**Jin**

What do you mean?

**Snow**

Meet me at the dorm in an hour. I have a plan.

**KODA POV**

**"** Koda **,** you need to go to the airport," Snow squeaked, excitedly. I cocked an eyebrow.

"Um, why?" I asked, confused.  _ Why would I need to go to the airport? _

"Don't ask questions. Kookie is downstairs waiting." She started walking towards me, shooing me out the front door. I grabbed my phone off the counter and shoved it in my pocket.

"Fine. I'm going, I'm going." I walked down the stairs to the lobby and Jungkook was standing by the door, looking dapper as always. "Hey, Kookies and Cream," I chirped. He smirked and I realized what I said.

"I could say something about that but we're gonna be late," he explained. I tilted my head in confusion. "We have a gift for you."

"And who is 'we'?" I asked. He shrugged and smiled. I furrowed my brows.  _ What exactly is happening right now? _

"Just follow me. You'll love it." He turned on his heels, walking out the door to the front. He opened the passenger door to his Hyundai and I climbed in. He got in the driver's seat and we set off to the airport.

"You know that surprises give me anxiety, Jungcock. What is it?" I whined. I hate surprises and never want them. I even constantly lie about my birthday just so nobody will throw me a surprise party.

"Babe, I know you want my cock but, you gotta be patient." He grabbed my hand. I jumped but calmed down quickly, ignoring the comment he made.

Thankfully, the airport wasn't far from where we were so we arrived fairly quickly than what I remembered. When we arrived he parked the car in the garage and got out of the car. I looked at the sign and saw that we were at the arrivals area.

"I know what you're thinking and no, we are not going on a spontaneous romantic getaway," he chuckled at my confused expression. I was only a little disappointed.

He seemed to know where he was going, so I just followed him. Once we arrived at a gate, my anxiety was through the roof. My body was shaking from nervousness. A couple people noticed that it was Kookie and I. Thankfully, I was wearing my Koda costume.

I nervously scrolled through Instagram on my phone, responding to fan comments and stuff. "Surprise," Jungkook said. I looked at him with fear in my eyes. I followed his gaze to the people exiting the plane.

My eyes met with a woman with purple/silver ombré hair. My breath hitched and my eyes widened.  _ No. Fucking. Way. _

" _ Kitty, _ " I squeaked, not believing my eyes. I turned to Jungkook. "You brought my wife here?"

Jungkook's eyes widened. "W-wife?"

"Work wife. Calm it, Kookie," I chuckled. I ran over to her and jumped on her. "Katja!" I screamed.

"Kodavanni!" she screamed, spinning me around. I laughed at the nickname. Katja, also known as Kitty, was my best friend and makeup artist while I was in the states.

She was contracted with the company so she stayed to help the other artists. "What are you doing here?!" I asked as she put me down.

"Your Make-up Artist is back and ready for your face!" she quipped, spreading her arms out dramatically. She turned her face and smiled at the boy next to me. "You must be Jordan!"

"Jungkook," he corrected.

"It's nice to meet you, Jeffrey," she smiled. She's not good with names. Kookie just tilted his head and smiled.

"You too."

I looked at Jungkook. "Best present ever!" We turned and started walking towards the baggage claim. We talked about what happened during our separation.

She ended things with her submissive when he became a little too stalker-like. Apparently, Snow told Jin about Kitty and she got a call from BigHit saying that Jin demanded her to be transferred out here.  _ I need to remember to thank Jin. _

When we got in the car, we both sat in the back to catch up. I turned to her and her face got serious. My smile dropped. "I heard about Max."

"Kat," I started.

"I don't need an explanation. Snow already covered that. I just need to know if you're planning on going," she said. I shrugged, not really knowing the answer. She sighed deeply.

"I...don't know if I should or not. I do want to see him, I just...I don't know," I tried to explain. She nodded.

"Well, don't worry. We can talk about that later," she promised. She turned to the front. "Upwards and onwards, Jackson!"

"It's Jungkook!" He reminded her, a playful tone in his voice.

"Matters," she retorted. The car started moving and we were on our way back. The car ride was filled with some gossip about what happened with Jamie from 4diction going back into rehab for a coke overdose and Amanda Tall breaking up with her boyfriend live on stage. I didn't realize how much I was missing being in Korea.

When we arrived at the dorm, I opened the door and Snow immediately jumped on Kat. "My bitch!"

"My hoe!" Kat responded. Jungkook's eyes widened. I looked at him, patted him on his back, and helped bring her bags in.

Jungkook followed me looking nervous. "Do they not like each other?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "They use that as terms of endearment. They adore each other. They're just vulgar about it," I explained. He smirked and walked over to me, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"So, should I call you Daddy's little slut?" He asked. I was about to protest when he attacked my neck. I moaned and then pushed him off.

"No."

"Too far?"

"Little Bit," I Said. We turned and saw the two girls with their elbows on the counters, chins in their hands, and smiles on their faces.

"Oh, don't mind us," Snow started. I glared at them.

"Please, do continue," Kat added.

Snow nodded. "Yes, Kookie, we'd love to see what Daddy can do!"

I was about to comment when Jungkook turned to me with lusty eyes. I gulped and he grabbed my waist and slammed his lips on mine. He bit my lip and I moaned, letting his tongue slip in my mouth.

His hands reached down and grabbed my ass. He then grabbed both legs and wrapped them around his waist. I could feel his hardness pressing against my clothed butt. I totally forgot that the girls were watching us.

He led me over to the couch and laid me down. He started nibbling and sucking on my neck. I wrapped my arms around him, scraping his back with my nails. He pulled off his shirt, obviously wanting my nails on him

He bit down on my collar bone and my nail dug deeper. He moaned and the melodic sound turned me on so bad. I scratched down his back till I reached his pants. I slid my hands in and dug my nails into his perfect ass. He grunted and thrusted, mashing our crotches together.

"Fuck, Kookie, your cock, I need it," I moaned, rubbing him through his pants.

"That is enough, Children! Kookie get off my child!" Jin's voice rang throughout the room. Kookie's face turned red and he immediately grabbed his shirt off the floor and covered his chest.

I looked over and saw Jin holding a gift basket, Namjoon with a party hat and a noise maker, and Taehyung, also with a party hat, and a big case of wine.

"Why did you make them stop?! It was just getting good," Snow whined. My face turned into a tomato.

"Yeah! I was just about to see what 'Daddy' was packing!" Kat mewled. Jin raised an eyebrow at Snow.

Snow raised her hands in defense. "Hey, I have been dry for a month now. I'll take what I can get!" I swear I saw Tae almost drop the wine.

I jumped up and ran over, clutching the box of wine and placing it on the table. "Be careful! That is precious cargo!" He widened his eyes then smirked.

"You might wanna take care of that," Tae said. I tilted my head in confusion just as he squeezed the tip of the—very obvious—tent in my pants. I moaned and almost fell forward but he caught me.

I felt hands wrap around my waist and pull me away from him. "That is my dick and you will not touch it, thank you very much!" Kookie growled. Tae winked at him. Kookie leaned down to my ear. "Unless you want us both. I may be able to share you for a few hours."

I shivered at his breath in my ear. I realized everyone was now staring at my crotch. I turned around and hid in Jungkook's chest. I could feel his prominent hardness pressing into my stomach.  _ At least I'm not alone in that. _

"Where the newbie at?!" Hobi's booming voice rang out. Hobi came walking in, Yoongi following behind. Both had party hats and whiskers painted on their faces.

"I'm here too!" Jimin grunted, carrying around thirty bags. "Hi everyone! I'm- Hi," Jimin stuttered when he saw Kat.

"Oh, that's right. We should probably introduce ourselves," Jin said. He walked over to her and held out his hand. "Hello, I'm worldwide handsome Jin."

"Hi, everyone. I'm Katja but, you can call me Kat, or Kitty as most people call me." She had a small wave and a dazzling smile.

Namjoon was next to introduce himself, then was the rest. Jimin went last, he stuttered through his introduction, obviously smitten by the purple haired girl.

I looked up at Jungkook. "He's a 'player', huh?" I chuckled. "Jungkook, if you don't stop grinding your dick on me, I'm gonna drain you in front of all of them."

Jungkook groaned. He grabbed my hand and looked up at the group. "Hey, guys. We'll be back; we have important things to do!" Jungkook stated, dragging me with him to my room. He threw me on the bed and poked his head out of the room. "Like my boyfriend draining my cock!"

My eyes widened. All I heard was Jin scream, "YAH!" Before he closed and locked the door. He walked over to me and pulled his dick out.

" _ Suck." _


	21. Chapter 21

"It was so aggressively thrust in there that I had no idea it was coming!" Hobi stated, finishing the story.

"#Life!" Snow yelled.

"#Preach!" I added.

"#Truth!" Kat added.

"#Mood!" Taehyung added.

"#CanYouFuckingStop?!" Jin asked. 

"Sorry, Mom," Kat whined. All the boys looked at her in shock, including Jin.

I shrugged. "She's a quick study," I explained. Jin smiled and the rest nodded along.

"So, we're not gonna have to worry about her, are we?" Jungkook asked.

I tilted my head. "Only on Tuesdays," I mused. 

Jimin's head snapped to me. "What happens on Tuesdays?" The nervousness was obvious in his voice.

"Don't worry about it," Kat responded.

"Just don't open the bottom drawer," Snow added, smiling innocently.

"W-what's in the bottom drawer?" Jungkook asked, eyes wide.

"It changes weekly. It could be a collection of butt plugs, vibrators-" I started.

"A dead body," Kat added. Everyone's heads snapped to her.

"Party money with sausages on them," Snow added. Jungkook and Jin looked at each other.

"Who are you people?" Jin asked, chuckling. We all just shrugged, laughing along.

"Alright, it's time for Kat to open her presents!" Hobi squealed. I looked at the other boys and they looked confused. "Oh, don't worry. I bought something from all of us!" he exclaimed, holding up all the bags that Jimin carried in. He brought them over and handed them to Kat and sat down excitedly, next to his boyfriend. "Open them up!"

Kat looked at the bags awkwardly. I chuckled at her. She straightened her back and opened the Gucci bag, reaching in and seeing diamond studded stilettos in her size. Her mouth dropped. "Snow told Hobi your shoe size and he squealed so loud when he saw them that we almost got kicked out of the store," Yoongi explained.

Kat blushed and started opening the rest of the bags. She got a Louis Vuitton purse, several more pairs of shoes and bags, and she got a little black dress. There was one bag left, from Victoria Secret. She opened it and it was a large selection of sexy black and pink lingerie. "That was from Jimin," Hobi chuckled.

Jimin's eyes widened as he shook his head. "I didn't buy that!" he barked, a red tint dusting over his face. 

Kat smirked, holding one of the sexy corsets to her chest. "Really? I thought you would have this kind of taste," she explained with a voice sounding sickeningly innocent. "Even though you didn't buy it, what do you think?" 

Jimin gulped and Hobi started laughing, holding his hand over his mouth to silence the noise. "I don't know. Do  _ you  _ like it?" 

Kat frowned. "You don't know?" She sighed deeply. "Oh! I have an idea!" She jumped up with the bag, grabbing Snow's hand, and running into my room. I shook my head, knowing exactly what was going to happen.

"Get ready," I remarked, studying my nails innocently.

"F-for what?" Jimin mumbled. I just giggled. After a few minutes of me waiting patiently, the bedroom door cracked open.

"Are y'all gays ready?" Snow asked.

"Hell yeah!" I yelled back, excited to watch Jimin and Tae's faces. The door opened wider and there was Snow and Kat in the tight lingerie. Snow's was pink and Kat's was black, offsetting their hair colors.

Jimin and Tae's mouths just dropped. "This is the outfit," Kat said, strutting out, Snow following behind her. They stopped in front of everyone and we all cat called and whistled. Kat stepped over to Jimin and Snow to Tae. "What do you guys think?"

Tae and Jimin, in unison, grabbed pillows and put them in their laps. "Do you like them?" Snow asked.

They both nodded slowly. "You should spank me, Jimin."

His eyes widened. "O-okay. Wait, what?" he said quickly.

"You should thank me, Jimin, for helping you make a decision if you liked it," she responded, innocently.  _ She knows she did not say that _ . I chuckled.  _ This is going to be fun while she's here. _

I looked over at Snow and she grabbed Tae's hand and slid it down her side. "See, Tae, it's almost like I'm wearing nothing," she quipped. Tae nodded, silently. She slid his hand down to her ass and moaned. "Wow, your hands are so warm."

I covered my mouth to keep from laughing. Jungkook wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to his lap. He leaned into my ear, still staring at the girls. "Why does this seem so planned?" he asked. 

"They're quick thinkers," I explained. He nodded.

"We're gonna have to watch out for them, aren't we?" he asked.

"Not you," I said. He looked at me confused until I snapped my fingers. Hobi grabbed his phone and tapped on the screen. I had my phone in my back pocket. It vibrated right on his crotch. He jolted. "I'm the only one you need to look out for," I said, kissing him.

"Giovanni Di Laurentiis, you are going to be the death of me," he groaned. Grinding into me. I put my hand on his chest.

"I have no more room in my stomach to do that again," I said. He frowned.

"But, you haven't even eaten today."

I looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

His eyes widened and then he pointed to the clock. "You've been with me since this morning and it's now eleven p.m." 

I nodded. "I've had my fill," I grinned. 

He looked directly into my eyes. "You're going to eat."

"I'm not hungry, though," I whined.

"Giovanni!" Kat barked. I turned and saw that her and Snow were fully clothed.  _ When the fuck did that happen? _ "We're going out and going to have dinner." I nodded.  _ I'm such a good husband. _

I got off Kookie's lap and walked to my room to change.  _ This is gonna be a long night. _


	22. Chapter 22

We found a nice restaurant in Hongdae. We were all excited to go here. Jin called the restaurant and had them set up a table for 10. The place was absolutely gorgeous. There were a lot of tables, a large crystal chandelier in the middle of the room, and everyone was dressed in suits and dresses.  _ I'm so glad I had a suit with me. _

We all ordered steaks except for Jin who ordered a seafood platter, which Namjoon scrunched his nose at. Apparently, Namjoon doesn't like seafood because 'the ocean creatures are his friends'. It's official--as if it wasn't before--Namjoon is an adorable koala.

The dinner was absolutely amazing. Kat, Snow and I were telling hilarious stories that happened to us and the group was laughing hard. Kookie and I kept kicking each other under the table, one time I missed and clocked Jin right in the shin. He glared at me and kicked me back, accidentally hitting Jungkook. He laughed saying that he was 'guilty by association'.

The waiters brought desert out and it was some sort of french dessert that tasted weird and jiggled like jello. (make the boys say hello WHAT?! Sorry. I'm done. kthxbye). My stomach was so full. We laughed and I excused myself to the bathroom. 

I walked into one of the stalls and relieved myself. I don't use urinals because splash-back is a no-go. I walked out of the stall and saw Jin at one of the urinals, texting. "You shouldn't be taking those kinds of pictures in a bathroom, Jin, it's slightly distasteful."

He turned his head to me and smiled. "A picture of anything I have can never be distasteful," he retorted. I laughed, washed my hands, and walked back to the table. Everyone was looking at their phones and breathed a sigh of relief.  _ What are they looking at? _

I decided to ignore it and sit down. "So," Jin started, sitting down at his seat. "I'm sure you've all wondered why I've gathered you here today." I blinked at him. I looked at everyone and they all had eyes on me.

"Why is everyone looking at me?" I asked, panic evident in my voice.  _ They're all gonna say that they hate me and want me to leave. I should just run. I need to get away. _

"Koda," Jin started, mother voice in place. "We know what happened to you." I froze.

"Wow, nice intro, Pinky," Snow barked. "Koda, after what happened with Max last time and you ending up in the hospital, I got scared. I needed help and they were there. I know it wasn't my business to tell but, we all love you here and we're not gonna let you harm yourself because of some asshole."

"Y-you told them?" I whispered, shock and anger in my voice. I went to stand up but Jungkook was holding my hand tight. Looking at me with pity in his eyes.  _ Fucking kill me now, please. Now they all know how pathetic and worthless I am. I can't even live without a fucking babysitter. _

"We forced it out of her is more accurate," Namjoon said. "Please, just hear us out." I relaxed into the seat and Jungkook laced our fingers together.

"We needed to know what extent Max had on you to make you get like that and, in order for us to learn that, we had to learn about... _ him, _ " Jin explained. I slowly nodded. Tears slowly started to fall from my eyes.  _ Why did they have to know about that douche pickle? I didn't want anyone to know. _

"Is that why, when I woke up, your eyes looked all red and puffy?" I asked, hoping for a 'no'.

"Yes."

I lowered my head, tears falling faster. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset anyone. That's why I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to get mad or upset or anything. Your lives were so much better before I got here. I'm so sorry," I sobbed. Yoongi grabbed me, leaned me close, hugged me tight. Jungkook didn't let go of my hand, he started rubbing circles on my back.

Jin slammed his hands on the table, thankfully, nobody else was in the restaurant. I jolted and started to shake hard. "I'm sorry, Koda, look at me." I looked at him. "Don't you ever apologize for coming into our lives or for us knowing your past. That only means you're closer to us. We're not gonna let you go anytime soon."

"This night was supposed to be about welcoming Kat. I can't even stop my past from ruining that," I cried.

"No. It wasn't," Taehyung said. I looked at him confused. "We came here because we needed to show you something."

"We needed to show you that you're loved here, and you can be happy here," Jungkook stated quietly.

"And that we're here to support you no matter what happened in your past or what you may think of yourself," Kat added.

"And you're part of our family now. We're gonna protect you as one of our own," Jimin said.

"You  _ are  _ one of our own," Yoongi stated, voice blank.

"I don't want you to go to the wedding," Jin stated, matter-of-factly. I just stared at him.

"Why?" I asked.

"I'm nervous. Why would you even want to go to the wedding?" Jin asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess...I may need closure?"

"I'm afraid how seeing him, especially with that... _ thing _ is going to affect you," he explained. I sat up, slumping my shoulders. "I saw how you were just from hearing his voice and it hurt me to see you cry from them and when he called while you were sleeping, I remembered seeing you so broken and I lost it and said-"

"You said what?!" I growled, anger filling my body. Yoongi and Jungkook both released me due to the tone of my voice. I stared daggers at him.

"I said you won't be going and-" he started but I cut him off.

"How fucking _ dare _ you. You have no right to get involved in my life like that. I cannot believe you would have the audacity to speak to him on my behalf when you have no idea what I am thinking or feeling!" I stood up, threw some cash on the table. "There's for mine. I'm leaving."

"Wait, Koda, let me drive you!" Jungkook said.

"No. I'll take a fucking uber. Just all of you leave me the hell alone," I barked, walking away from the table. I slammed the door to the restaurant open and walked out. I fished my phone out of my pocket and texted the only person I could think of.

**Me**

Noona, are you busy right now?

**IU**

Not at the moment. What's up?

**Me**

Do you want to rehearse?

**IU**

Sure! I can be at BigHit in a while.

**Me**

Can we actually go to your studio? I got into a fight with the boys and I really just don't want to be around them right now.

**IU**

Absolutely. I'll text you the address.

**Me**

Thank you so much.

She sent me the address and I put the details into my app. It was only a twenty minute walk so I decided to just walk there instead of taking a taxi.

**3rd POV**

**IU**

Koda is gonna be practicing with me tonight. I know you would worry. He's safe and we're not drinking.

**Snow**

Thank you for letting me know.

"Koda, you doof. You should really talk to them," Jieun (IU's real name) said to nobody. She got up off her bed and went to change into some comfortable clothes to practice in. "Tonight is going to be a  _ long _ night."


	23. Chapter 23

I woke up and my eyes were burning. I looked at the clock and it was only eight in the morning. I went to bed three hours ago.  _ Why the fuck am I awake? _ As if on cue, I realized my bladder feels like it's going to explode.

After running to the bathroom, I decided to walk out to the kitchen because soda is a need. It's morning so I have to be awake. I barely even opened my eyes while walking to the kitchen.

"Koda, can we please talk?" I heard Snow's voice. I turned and looked at her on the couch. She looks like she hasn't slept at all. Her hair was a mess and her makeup was running down her face. 

"Honey, why do you look like crap?" I asked, not realizing my words could be harsh.

"I didn't sleep at all. I was worried about you," she explained. I frowned. "I'm so sorry for telling them. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just so scared I was going to lose you and felt alone and didn't know what to do," she sobbed, her face in her hands.

My heart broke hearing her say that. I walked over to the couch and hugged her. She sobbed on my shoulder and I felt tears fall from my eyes. "I'm so sorry you've been carrying my burden. Don't apologize. I'm not mad that you told them; I'm mad that Jin said that to Max. It has nothing to do with you."

She pulled back and looked at me. "You didn't let him finish. He said he wouldn't allow you to go but he can't stop you so if you do end up going, then you'll be bringing a date. He said it was because he was mad. He didn't say it to hurt you."

My heart hurt even more. "I shouldn't have overreacted but when I heard what he said, I felt like Max would hate me and never talk to me again. I'm scared to lose him...I need him," I sobbed.

"No," she sobbed, placing her face in her hands. "You don't need him. All he does is hurt you and make you feel like you're crazy. You don't deserve that. I don't care how much you think you need him, he's nothing. He's a parasite to your happiness. You may love him but every single person knows that he doesn't love you!"

I cried harder, knowing how true her words were. It hurt to think that I would give up my life for that man at any point and time, no questions asked, and he can drop me no problem without a care in the world. I would do anything for him.

He always told me that he'd do anything for me, choose me over everyone, be there no matter what but, when I needed him most he ignored me. He constantly ignores me when he has anything better to do. I'll always be his last resort but, I still need my closure. I still have to go.

"I'm still going. I have to," I recalled. She grabbed my shoulders, looking directly in my eyes.

"You're not going alone," she demanded.

I nodded. "I won't. I'm going to ask Jungkook to join me. If he won't then I'll drag you along," I explained. She shook her head with narrowed eyes.

"I will harm that bitch," she said.

"Which one?" I asked.

"Both!" she barked. 

"I'll figure it out. I promise."

She nodded but still continued to cry. I wrapped my arms around her, crying myself. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight.

"I didn't mean to make you feel like this. I promise," I cried. "I'm such a screw up. If I could just get over this stupid shit, you wouldn't be hurting. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"It's not because of your past, it's because of how you hate yourself." She wiped her tears. "It hurts that you don't see how amazing you are and that you constantly hurt yourself. We saw the cuts on your sides the day you got drunk. We know that you've been throwing up. It hurts to know that you're hurting yourself."

I froze. I didn't know that they saw the cuts and knew about the sickness.

"You hate yourself so much that you feel like you have to puke to be good enough for assholes who don't even see your worth. They're worthless piles of trash and should mean nothing to you. I hate them for hurting you and letting you hurt yourself," she yelled.

"Honey, I'll stop, alright. I promise. I'm so sorry that I upset you," I cried.

"It's not you, God damn it!" she screamed. I looked at her with wide eyes. "It's those fucking trash bags that hurt you. I want nothing less than death for them!"

I jolted back at her bluntness.  _ Wow. I didn't realize she felt that way. _

"If Kookie won't go with you, then I will. I will try to contain myself but if he gives you even one teasing look, then I will fucking slaughter him."

I nodded and hugged her again. I looked around. "Where's Kat?"

"She fell asleep at Kookie's place. She was hoping you'd turn up there."

"She's mad isn't she?"

"No. She's just worried about you. We all were," she explained. I nodded.  _ I need to talk to them. _

"I should probably go over there, huh?"

"Probably a good idea."

"Alright. Why don't you get some sleep while I go talk to them?" I asked. She nodded and stood up, wiping her eyes. 

"I will. I love you, Giovanni," she said. I gave her a soft smile.

"I love you too, Ali. Get some sleep." She nodded and walked into her room. I went and got ready, taking a shower and changing clothes. I walked up to JiKook's room and knocked on the door. The door opened and Jimin attacked me in a hug.

"Koda, we're so sorry. We didn't mean to upset you. We just wanted to help you and she was trying to help us understand better and we didn't mean to hurt you like that. Jin was just trying to help you because he thinks of you as his son and he didn't think before he spoke and-"

I cut him off. "It's fine, Jimin. Don't worry. Snow explained things. I overreacted and I'm sorry."

He pulled back and looked at me. "Are you alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine. I just went and practiced with IU. We got it down perfectly now. We were practicing till five in the morning," I explained. He nodded. "Is Kookie awake?"

He nodded. "He hasn't slept all night." My heart broke.  _ He must be mad at me. I'm a horrible person. _ "He's been waiting to talk to you."

"Is he in his room?" I asked. Jimin nodded. I walked inside and down the hall to his room. I knocked on the door.

"Not now, Jimin." His voice was hoarse and weak. He sounded exhausted. I opened the door and heard him growl. "I said not now!" he barked. He turned around, his face was angry but softened when he saw my face. "Koda."

I walked in, tears streaming down my face. He stood up and I hugged him. "I'm so sorry. Please don't be mad. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm so sorry," I cried. He hugged me tight. My sides ached but I didn't care.

"I'm not mad. I was worried. I'm sorry if you think we took it too far. We're just scared," he explained.

"Thank you and I'm sorry for worrying you. I'm trying to get better, I promise. I just needed to think and I overreacted." He pushed me back to kiss me on the forehead.

"It's alright. I understand," he said. I gave him a small smile. We sat down on his bed and I laid my head in his lap. He played with my hair. "I think I do want to go to the wedding. I do think I need closure but, I have a question."

"What's that, baby boy?" he asked.

"Will you go with me?"

His movements froze for a second. He continues playing with my hair. "Of course, I will."

I sat up, sighing deeply. "Thank you." I kissed him. "What did I do to deserve a man as amazing as you?" I chuckled.

"Killed Hitler?" he questioned.

I laughed and kissed him again. "From here on out, I promise to be the best boyfriend. I promise to keep your stomach full and balls empty."

He cocked and eyebrow before kissing my neck. "Well they're pretty full right now," he crooned. I moaned before pushing him away.

"I have to call Max. After though, I expect you to pound me into oblivion," I said. Rubbing his hard cock through his shorts. He moaned, grinding into my hand.

"Make it quick or I'll shove myself into you while you're on the phone," he warned. I winked and licked his lips. His eyes widened.

"Oh no, don't do that. I promise I'll be a good boy," I whined innocently, scratching down his leg with my nails. He moaned. "I'll be right back."

I stood up and walked out of the room to the living room. I looked and saw that Kat was sleeping on the couch and decided to walk out into the hallway. I saw that I was very hard and so I adjusted myself to try and hide it.

Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I tapped on contacts and pressed 'Do Not Answer!' and listened to it ring.

" _ Oh my god, Giovanni. Are you alright?!" _

"Yes. I'm sorry for what Jin said the other night. I don't know what's wrong with him."

_ "It's alright. I'm just glad you're alright." _ BULLSHIT!

"I was calling to let you know that I'll be there."

_ "Awesome! I'm so glad to hear that. Everyone was hoping!" _

"One thing," I started. "I have to come in costume as Koda because Jungkook is my date."

There was a slight pause.

_ "Is this 'Jungkook' your boyfriend?" _

I smiled. "Yes. Yes, he is."

_ "Meh, you could do better." _

"Do you want me at this wedding or not?!" I barked.

_ "I'm sorry. I do. I can't wait to see you! How long has it been?" _

"Too long," I whispered. "Anyways. I have to get going. I'll text you when I have the plane ticket and stuff."

_ "Alright, sounds good!" _

"Bye." I hung up the call.  _ This is going to be interesting. _ I walked back in to go ride my boyfriend. I need a release and him releasing into me, is better than I can ask for.


	24. Chapter 24

"We're gonna miss you so much!" Kat cried, squeezing the absolute life out of me.

"Can't...breathe," I choked out and she didn't let go.

"You can survive for a few more minutes before you turn purple. Blue is a good color on you anyways," she cried. Jimin grabbed her by the waist and she jumped, releasing me and giving me an escape to go hide behind Jungkook.

"We have to go, you guys!" Jungkook chuckled. 

"You better take care of him, Justin!" Kat warned.

"It's Jungkook!" Everyone said. 

"Either way!" She grunted. We collected our bags and walked to our gate. There were a lot of reporters and cameras asking why we were going to America. We had to ignore all of them. It didn't take us long to go through customs. 

The first flight wasn't too bad. We had to change planes in Shanghai since we were heading to Arizona and not L.A. The second plane ride felt like it was taking forever. I was scrolling through the Save Me webtoon, sobbing. "Are you alright?"

"It's just...so sad," I sobbed. He grabbed my hand.

"You're going to be the death of me, Koda," he chuckled. I scoffed and looked at him.

"That was the car you stepped out in front of!" I barked. He rolled his eyes.

"It was a music video from five years ago! When are you going to get over that?!" he whined. I pointed a finger at him.

"When you stop throwing yourself off rooftops and fucking up Jin's mind!" I retorted. He looked ahead and then looked at me.

"It. Is. Just. A. Webtoon," he reminded me. He got close to my face. My face turned red. "If you want, we can go to the bathroom and I can show you just how alive I am," he smirked. I bit my lip and nodded.

"That sounds amaze-"

" _ Now arriving at Sky Harbor international airport. Thank you for flying AirAsia and we hope you have a wonderful day!"  _ The intercom cut me off. I looked at the time and it was five in the morning.

"Ah. That's depressing. I guess we'll have to wait till we get to the hotel," he whined. I chuckled and nodded.  _ This is going to be a long trip. _ "Are you going to see your mom while we're here?"

I shook my head. "She's on a business trip in Canada right now."

"Pity. I wish I could have met her," he explained. I smiled.

"Don't worry. She knows all about you. I'm not the only army in my family!"

His eyes widened. "How much does she know."

"Everything the Army knows including your fear of microwaves," I explained. I stood up and we grabbed our carry-ons. I walked off the plane with Jungkook trailing behind me. 

"It's not my fault they're scary," he mumbled. I chuckled and resisted the urge to kiss him. Too many people were around us. When we exited the plane, there were cameras everywhere, taking pictures of us, and yelling out questions.

We continued to ignore them as we went through customs and went to get a rental car. "Where did Snow book us?" I asked as we walked to the car.

"She booked us at a hotel near the wedding but she made sure it wasn't the same hotel that they're staying at," he explained. I nodded.

"What would I do without her?"

"Probably not a lot," he chuckled. I was going to say something snarky but, he was right so I just nodded along. "Don't worry," he said, getting into the car. "I'm here to help make this as painless as possible."

I nodded, looking down at my hands as he began to drive. "I just hope it gets over quickly, I can say goodbye, and never think of him again."

"I have a question. If you still have feelings for him, how do you like me too?" he asked. I just looked at him.  _ I was not expecting that question. _

"Because," I started, trying to collect my thoughts. "I don't have 'feelings' for him. I mean, I  _ did _ but now, I know that it was just a "Prince Charming" syndrome. He saved me, and I thought what I felt for him was love. It was nothing more."

"Except for the fact that he was relentlessly leading you on and being a total worthless, pile of shit?" he asked. I widened my eyes at the jealous tone. I didn't say anything. "I could have saved you better than him," he whispered.

A blush crept over my cheeks. "Yes, you could have. I'm just glad that you don't look at me like he used to...like everyone else does," I explained.

He cocked his head to the side and looked at me. "How does everyone else look at you?"

"Like I'm porcelain and getting ready to break." I put my head down, looking at my hands. "You can't worry about me breaking if I'm already broken."

"Well." He grabbed my hand. "I'm gonna be the glue that puts you back together. Piece by piece."

"Let's get food before we get to the hotel," I requested. He nodded.

"I want In-N-Out! I haven't had it in years," he whined. I cocked an eyebrow.

"You were here two months ago," I reminded him.

He shrugged. "Well, it feels like years."

I chuckled and gave him directions to the nearest branch. The food was absolutely amazing. Jungkook ate three burgers and four fries. I stared at him and asked him where all that food went. He looked down then back at me giggling. I held a hand up to stop him and pulled his last burger from his mouth.

He had looked at me confused and I let him know that if he continues eating, I won't walk for a week. He smirked at me and told me that he was going for that. My face went red and continued stuffing his face.

When we got to the hotel, it was very large and nice. Of course it would be because of Snow. 'Always the best, never settle for less' she always says. When we checked in, the lady at the desk kept blushing at Jungkook and my jealousy got the best of me.

I may or may not have barked at her to get it over with. I knew I'd have to apologize but, still. My man.  _ Myyyyyyyyyyyy man! _ While we were checking in, I could have sworn that I saw someone hiding behind one of the potted bushes but decided to ignore it. The lady didn't say our room number so it was fine.

When we arrived at the room on the twelfth floor, I threw myself on the bed. The wedding was later today, so we didn't have to start getting ready for a few more hours. He came up to the edge of the bed and I wrapped my arms around his legs. I put my chin on his stomach and looked up at him.

He ruffled my hair and I smiled at him. "You're adorable," he said. I cocked an eyebrow.

"I'm not adorable," I whined.

"Yes, you are."

"Not."

"Are."

"Not."

He leaned down close to my face. "You're even adorable while I'm doing horrible, horrible things to you." My face went neon red. "In fact you get even cuter when you beg."

I pouted and he ghosted his lips over mine. "We have hours to get ready," I reminded him.

"Is someone a little needy?" he asked, teasingly.

"'A little'?" I repeated, cocking an eyebrow. He pushed me back on the bed and crawled next to me, sitting his chin on his hand as he looked at me. "What?"

"Even though I'm about to completely destroy you, how am I going to keep my hands off you at the wedding?" he mused.

"Because there with be hundreds of people with Cameras and everyone knows who you are," I pointed out. He rolled his eyes.

"Well, guess I'll have to just get it all out of my system now, huh?" he asked. My eyes widened and before I could respond, he was on top of me kissing me.  _ Ah well, we got time. _


	25. Chapter 25

When we arrived at the wedding, it was a beautiful chapel. When we got out of the car and walked to the front, there was a small girl whose mouth dropped when she saw us. I chuckled and Jungkook smiled at her.

"Koda Cortez for two," I said. She looked at the list.

"Ah, y-yes. Koda Cortez and Jungkook Jeon," she squeaked, obviously nervous. She nodded and waved us in. We walked in and saw the absolutely beautiful set up.  _ Well, he must have convinced her somehow because she would never get married in a church. _

There were a bunch of gasps and whispers about us. We expected nothing less. When we were about to sit down in one of the pews in the back, someone came over to us.

"You made it!" the voice said. I looked over and saw Anthony, Max's father, smiling warmly. He gave me a hug.  _ I swear this family is completely bi-polar. _ I saw Jina, Max's mother. She gave me a big hug.

"You never call us!" she whined. I chuckled, feeling the warmth in my chest from her hug. She always gave the best hugs. "Who is this?"

"This is Jungkook, he's my-"

"Boyfriend," he finished. I saw their smiles go tight. " _ Hello, Auntie," _ Jungkook said in Korean. He bowed and she did the same.

"So, you're the man that stole our Giovanni's heart. Max told me about you," Anthony said. My heart panged at the ' _ our Giovanni' _ part. "Says that you have quite the voice."

"They know?" he asked me. I nodded.  _ They were ones of the first to know.  _ "It's wonderful to meet you, sir."

"You as well," he said. He looked at me. "Have you seen Max yet?"

"Not yet. We just got here," I explained. He nodded.

"Why don't you go congratulate him? He's happy that you're here," Jina said. I was getting uncomfortable with their demeanor. Last time we spoke it wasn't a good time.

I shook my head. "It's alright. I'll see him later," I said. They nodded tightly.

Jina smiled. "Well, you two must sit with us! We have two seats in the front saved for you."

I nodded and we followed them to the front. We sat down and I was next to his sister. She smiled at me, flashing her pearly white teeth. "Gio! You're here! Last time I spoke to Max he didn't know if you were gonna show up or not."

"Hey, Jane, how's it going?" I asked. She smiled and cupped her stomach, that I didn't even know was protruding. I gasped. "You're pregnant?! That's amazing! I'm so happy for you!"

I gave her a light hug and she chuckled. "It's taken forever but, we're glad for this little bundle of joy!"

"That's amazing. I know you're going to be the best mother!" I assured her. She smiled.

"I guess I should be congratulating you as well," she said.

"For what?"

"For landing that one," she said. Jungkook's ears perked up, knowing that she was talking about him and he pointed to himself. "Yes, you!" She looked back at me. "Keep him. He's adorable," she said, winking.

I looked at Jungkook and his face was red. The boy gets complimented on a daily basis by fans and that seems to be the one that turns him red. The music started and we all turned our attention forward. I didn't even know that Max had gone to his position already.

Our eyes met and I gave him a small wave. He gave me a small smile and nod.  _ Oh, great. I'm gonna fucking puke. _ I held down my bile for the entirety of the wedding. It was really pretty. When they kissed, I felt Jungkook squeeze my hand. I looked at him and he gave me a small smile.

We all got up and exited the chapel to head to the reception. Jungkook didn't take his hand off mine except to get into the car. He knew that this was hard for me and my silence proved it. He knows that I was stuck in my own head and that was never a good place for me to be.

We arrived at the hotel, which was about half a mile from ours, and entered the reception. The place was totally decked out with crystal chandeliers and crystal centerpieces. We got our cards and realized that our table was next to the families' and in front of the dance floor. 

I walked over to the table and Jungkook followed behind, practically like my bodyguard. We sat down after Jungkook grabbed two flutes of champagne. He handed me mine and I had to be cautious and not down it in one go.

The people at our table were part of both families. I recognized Laura's aunt and Max's cousins. I caught Laura's mother looking at me from the other table, glaring is a more accurate word. She quickly turned away when I looked at her.

The reception was very nice. They had their first dance, played a couple jokes, and Jane's husband gave his best-man speech. It was funny and really sweet.

"Now it's time for a surprise! We have two special people in the house to wish our lovely couple a happy marriage," Anthony said on stage. I gulped.  _ No fucking way. _ "Koda Cortez from Inamorata and Jungkook from BTS are here to sing you a special song."  _ That's why he was being so nice. What a fucknut. _

The spotlight came over and landed on us. My eyes were probably as wide as saucers. I looked at Jungkook who smiled widely. He leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Let's give them a show they will never forget, babe."

I smiled and nodded. We stood up and walked up to the stage. I grabbed the two mics from his father who smirked at me before walking off the stage. I handed the other mic to Jungkook and turned to the band. "Can you play Beauty and The Beast?" I asked the band and they nodded.

We turned around to face everyone. The wedding couple sat with their families directly in front of us. The music started and their faces went to confusion. They probably thought I was going to try and ruin their wedding.

"Best wishes to the happy couple!" I said in the mic before I started singing. People took out their cameras to record.

**_Tale as old as time_ **

**_True as it can be_ **

**_Barely even friends_ **

**_Then somebody bends_ **

**_Unexpectedly_ **

I looked at Jungkook and we smiled at each other. He placed the mic to his mouth, not breaking eye contact. 

**_Just a little change_ **

**_Small to say the least_ **

**_Both a little scared_ **

**_Neither one prepared_ **

**_Beauty and the beast_ **

Everyone was swaying with the song. It felt great to perform again. We both kept eye contact as we sang the next part in perfect harmony. It was such a relief because we never sang together.

**_Ever just the same_ **

**_Ever a surprise_ **

**_Ever as before and ever just as sure as the sun will rise_ **

Just then, the music cut off and was replaced with a rap type beat. Some white boy with dreads and face tattoos came on stage.  _ Soundcloud rapper.  _ "Now, y'all thought this was gonna be cute but, I'm here to spill some tea!" the douche-pickle said.

**_Koda Cortez, the self-proclaimed 'best'_ **

**_You tried so hard but could not get him into bed_ **

**_While you thought about him, he was fucking with your ex_ **

**_You cried about him while she was giving him some head_ **

I looked at Max in shock. He was smiling at his dad. I saw him mouth 'best wedding present ever'. Jungkook looked like he was going to rip the spine off this man. People stood up, looking confused as all hell; I was making the same expression.

**_What I'm saying is that Laura got something you want_ **

**_Again she got someone that you never could have got_ **

**_You coulda whined, coulda cried, wanna die, he didn't care though_ **

**_Cause he didn't wanna fuck around with a stupid homo_ **

Before I had the chance to respond, I saw a flash of purple hair. It was Kat.  _ Kat?! What the fuck is she doing here?! _ She jumped on stage, grabbed the guy by the dreads and slammed his face down to the dance floor. People gasped.

I was super confused and I walked down to the dance floor to see Kat beating the living shit out of the man, not giving him a chance to even try to hit her back. "Kat, what the hell are you doing here?" I looked up and saw Yoongi was holding Snow by the waist as she was struggling to get out of his grip.

I looked over at Max and Laura. Laura was fuming, she started running towards me. "You ruined my reception!" she screamed. I was frozen in confusion. She came over and slapped me. My mouth dropped. Jungkook stepped around me and grabbed her by her hair.

"Don't touch him again, bitch!" Jungkook barked before throwing her at her family.

Max started over to us but I saw that Yoongi let Snow go and was sitting, eating cake.  _ Oh no. Bye, Max. _ She leaped onto him, her hands around his neck as she twisted on him and somehow slammed him to the ground. Jungkook grabbed me and we ran out of the building.

We raced over to the car and he put me in. "We can't just leave them here!" I yelled.

He got in the driver's seat. "We can and we will. That bitch had the nerve to slap you," he growled. He was livid. I could tell by the way he was clutching the steering wheel; his knuckles were white. "She is lucky with what she got."

I decided to sit in silence for the duration of the car ride. When we got to the hotel, his arm was around me until we got to the room. He went over and sat down on the couch. "I'm going to take a shower," I said, not wanting to be in the awkward silence.

He nodded with a soft smile, running his hands through his hair. I knew that he was trying to calm down. I took my time in the bathroom, hoping that he wouldn't be so mad when I was done. I realized when Jungkook gets angry, I get  _ scared _ of him.

I came out of the shower and saw him still sitting on the couch but this time, tears were streaming down his face. I was confused. "Kookie?" I asked. He looked up and me and smiled. He stood up and walked over to me.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek, then my lips. "I'm so sorry," he apologized.

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I promised myself that I would never let you get hurt again," he explained. My shoulders slumped.

"You couldn't have stopped it. They planned it. They literally used their most 'happiest' day to make a fool out of me. If that isn't a K-drama plot, I have no idea what is," I chuckled. He gave a humorless chuckle and kissed me again. "Thank you for coming. I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there."

"I don't even want to think what could have happened," he groaned. I pushed him back so I could look him in the eyes.

"Hey, it's over now. We never have to think about this ever again. It's just us now. None of them will ever be around again," I said, trying to soothe him. He nodded and hugged me.

"How are you so cavalier about this?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I've been through so much worse, this is nothing."

"And he still put you through this even knowing what happened to you?"

"He's a doofus but, I wouldn't change a thing that happened," I explained. I looked up at his eyes.

"Because you met me?" he asked, the playfulness evident in his voice.

"No. Because it won me a Grammy," I stated bluntly. His eyes widened and he frowned.

"Of course it's because I met you," I assured him. He smiled and kissed me again. We heard a knock on the door. I turned my head with a less-than-amused expression on. "Time for a pretty damn good explanation, or at least, it fucking better be!"


	26. Chapter 26

I sat on the chair in the living room area of the hotel room, my legs crossed and my arms over my chest. "Well, I'm waiting for an explanation," I said, staring at three guilty looking people sitting on the couch. Jungkook was leaning against the chair, his arms folded too.

"We followed you because we were nervous. We didn't know why he would contact you after all this time and we were scared it was for something like what exactly happened," Kat stated. I nodded.

"Well, thank you. You know, you could have just told me and I would have been fine with you coming along," I explained. Kat and Yoongi looked towards a shocked Snow.

"Really?" she asked. I nodded.

"I totally understand your fears because I had the same ones. Obviously, all of our instincts were correct," I said, gesturing around. "Thank you, guys. It really means a lot that you were sneaking around- Wait! Was that one of you hiding behind the bush thing?"

Yoongi slowly raised his hand up. "That was me. You guys were earlier than we thought you would be."

I laughed. "That makes sense."

"Are you alright?" Yoongi asked.

I sighed deeply. "Well, not really. I'm sad and hurt by learning that my worst fear was true," I explained, feeling tears well up in my eyes. "They never cared about me, did they?"

"Apparently not," Snow hissed, angered by the two people we called friends.

"I got an idea," Kat piped up. "Why don't we all go to the club? We can help Giovanni celebrate closure and freedom, while keeping an eye on his drinking!"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Jungkook asked, looking at me.

"Absolutely!" I jumped up, excited. I leaned into his ear. "Then, after the club, you can show me more of how alive you are!"

He pushed me back a little. "Dude, last time I orgasmed this morning, literally nothing came out. We should probably cool it!"

I grabbed his crotch in front of everyone. "Alcohol will help you make more." He grunted into my touch.

"Ooh, can we watch?" Kat asked. I turned and looked at Yoongi scrunching his nose up in disgust.

"If I have enough alcohol in me and the exhibitionist decides he wants some then I don't see a problem," I replied. Jungkook's eyes widened. I winked at him and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Let's go get some drinks," he grunted, nuzzling his face into my neck. Kat yelled in excitement. We all went to get ready. Their room was a few floors down so we decided to meet in the lobby. It didn't take us long to get ready. Thankfully, it was late enough that the club would be fun. The wedding started at four and it was now ten. 

"Time to go to my old stomping grounds," Kat said as we walked down into the lobby. She stopped and turned to me. "I just realized something," she said. I tilted my head. "You've been taking elevators."

My eyes widened.  _ Holy shit.  _ "I didn't even realize."

"Looks like Jungkook is doing more for you than you realize," Yoongi said. I looked at Jungkook and smiled.

"Can we  _ go? _ " Snow whined. "I need to shake something!"

We all nodded and headed out to the club. It was a club on the next street up, so we decided to walk instead of driving, so we could all drink. The club wasn't too packed but it was busy. We grabbed a few drinks and found a booth to sit at.

The music was really good. It was pop/dance and EDM. We all danced and had fun. A couple people started dancing with us when they realized that Inamorata and two sevenths of BTS were at the club with them. Even Yoongi looked like he was having a great time, flashing his gummy smile whenever we looked at him.

Kookie and I were dancing like hoes and laughing hard. I turned my head and smiled at Kat before realizing who wasn't that far from her.  _ Max.  _ He was dancing with some chick.  _ Shouldn't he be with his wife? _ She saw me stop and followed my gaze.

Her mouth dropped and she started to walk towards him. I grabbed her arm and shook my head. I led her back to the booth and the others followed. I told them he was there and they all went into battle mode. I calmed them down and said I was going to get some air.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Jungkook asked.

I shook my head. "Just keep an eye on him!"

They nodded and I made my way to the entrance of the club. I asked the bouncer to stamp my hand so I could get back in and he did. I walked to the alley next to the club which was where a Burger King was. It was brightly lit and thankfully not creepy at all.

I saw someone smoking and my feet started walking towards him. "Can I bum one?" I asked. He looked shocked, then I remembered, I'm Koda right now. He nodded and handed me one with his lighter. I took a long drag, almost missing when I used to smoke. I stepped away from the guy and started going through my phone.

I felt hands snake around my waist. The  _ wrong  _ hands. I knew those hands better than anything. I felt his hot breath on my ear and could easily smell the whiskey coming from him.

"Do you still think of me?" Max asked, slurring his words. "When he's thrusting into you, are you hoping it's me inside you?"

"Max, stop," I warned. He dug his fingers into my hips, grinding on me, to music that wasn't there. I started shaking.

I felt us separate and turned around quickly. Kat grabbed Max's crotch with a surprising amount of force making him scream out in pain. "If you ever, and I mean  _ ever _ , fucking touch him again." She squeezed again, making him yelp again even louder. "I will rip your fucking balls off and shove them up your ass," she whispered in his ear, looking in my eyes.

I flicked my cigarette on the ground, stomping it out. She let him go and he fell to the ground, clutching himself. She looked at me with a small smile. We walked back inside to see the others standing near the entrance.

"Yup, he went to go find him," she said. They all looked angry.

"Can we go?" I asked, my voice barely over a whisper. They all nodded and we walked back to the hotel.


	27. Chapter 27

We got back to the hotel and all decided to just head back to Korea as quickly as possible. Yoongi called and changed all our flights to be on the same one and we were heading back the next night. It was kind of nice. This time, we were all sitting close and everyone was laughing and talking, probably annoying the other people.

We slept for most of the flight, trying to get our schedules back to Korea time. When we arrived, there were cameras everywhere again. Customs took longer because  _ someone _ decided they wanted to bring back some wine, which they could not import...That person may have been me.

When we got back to the dorm, we all decided we needed more sleep. It was around eleven at night. We slept until the next morning which is when I ended up going to another practice for the MAMA awards which were the next day. This time the practice was actually at the stadium.

Snow and Kat joined the boys and I. The boys were performing a remix of their song "Hero". When we got to the Universal Arts Center it was a nice size. We were driven to the back and all walked in with a bunch of other artists that were arriving.

Almost everyone was dressed in sweats except for people who needed last fittings for their clothes, IU and I included. We got to meet some cool groups and artists. We got to meet EXO and SHINee and I may have fanboyed too hard and scared like...all of them but, it was still a good time.

A lot of the artists knew that we were releasing a remix of the song with me rapping in Korean so a lot of them decided to sit and watch the practice, especially because it was going to be the full thing and they could prep their reactions.

We got ready in our outfits. It was a pretty interesting song about fighting for love even when it seems pointless, kind of ironic due to my previous situation. The outfits were supposed to resemble ancient Vikings and Valkyries. I really liked it.

Once we were fitted again, we were under the stage on a rising platform. The stage was really big so we didn't have to crouch. The VCR played showing IU—whose name I found out was Jieun—on a flying horse. It looked amazing.

The music started and we were raised up. I took this as a time to prove myself to the sunbae artists that were watching. I looked in the crowd and saw SHINEE, EXO, BLACKPINK, Twice, Mamamoo, CLC, Red Velvet, the boys were in the crowd, and a bunch more. Even though I was humiliated less than 72 hours prior, my nerves weren't as bad as I thought they would be.

I was rather excited to perform in front of people I've spent most my life listening to. I put on the most seductive face that I could as we rose, a lip bite to help, even though they couldn't see it. I heard the artists go 'ooh," when we rose. I winked and a couple of the girls giggled.

The performance went better than expected. Everyone applauded us, including a few standing ovations. Apparently, my Korean wasn't as bad as I thought it was.

The performance went well and we didn't get a chance to see the boys perform because of fittings but everything stayed in place so apparently, they decided to keep it. The next day, we all got there early. The boys were here earlier because their performance was well before ours.

The show didn't start for a while and we weren't going to be sitting in the crowd before the performance. They decided they were going to have Snow and I perform our latest song after my IU performance.

Our stylists from Solar ent. sent our clothing over. Apparently, they had planned this for a while. It seems they decided to throw this on us to test our abilities. I got ready quickly and got into hair and makeup. "Make sure that this is quick so I can see the boys perform," I asked Kat. She nodded and smirked.

"Is it because they pull their shirts up and you're hungry for cock?" she asked. I rolled my eyes.

"You know that's fucking why!" I barked, jokingly of course. She smiled and laughed. She hurried on my make up. I sat in front of the T.V. and watched as the boys performed "Hero" and they did amazing. I giggled at Jungkook lifting his shirt up barely. "I sucked his dick," I giggled.

The staff called me to come to the lift and I put on my Thor-looking headpiece. I followed him to the lift and got on with IU. She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, nerves finally starting to hit me. The VCR played the intro.

I grabbed my hair and growled, not realizing the mic was on already, just doing it to get myself into a seductive mood. The crowd went wild. IU had to turn off her mic pack because she started laughing too hard. The stage rose up and she immediately collected herself.

The performance went better than the rehearsal. When the stage lowered. We crawled through the tiny hallway. "That was amazing!" she squeaked, hugging me. I started shaking and she pulled back. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "Just nervous from the performance."

She rolled her eyes. "You did better than the actual recording. I'm so happy. Thank you!"

"No. Thank  _ you _ !" I squeaked. "If it wasn't for you, people would still think I was dating Yoongi.

"Which is funny because Jimin obviously has a thing for you!" she explained. I widened my eyes. She nodded. "It's true. You should date him! You're single right?"

I nodded, hesitantly. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Cause you're a total catch. If you weren't gay, I'd be all over you!" she said. I widened my eyes. "Either way, I gotta get going! Hope you have a great night!"

I nodded, kind of confused.  _ What the fuck is happening right now? _


	28. Chapter 28

The next month went by fairly well. Especially during Christmas. I waited to give Jin his Christmas present which was some Gordon Ramsey signed/etched cookware. He cried and hugged me. I gave V a new camera with fifteen interchangeable lenses. It was a good time.

Jungkook and I were doing great. He gave me, publicly, all my favorite things, horror movies, wigs, and electronics but—privately, he gave me a bunch of sex toys and a lot of lube.

I gave Jungkook around 250 white t-shirts, a lot of gray sweats and a lot of timberlands. He laughed hard and gave me a kiss. I—privately—gave him similar sex toys. He told me he couldn't wait to use them on me. He said that he was going to pound me so hard that even by a touch on the forehead, I would orgasm. I couldn't wait. 

It had been a good month. Everything seemed to be going very well. The news went crazy after the wedding but, thankfully, the performance made sure those were done for. We ended up shooting a new music video, a response to the wedding. The song was called 'Reincarnation' and it was savage as fuck.

When we got done shooting the music video, it was fairly late but I walked up to the boys' floor. I opened the door and saw Jungkook and IU standing at his door. I smiled and was ready to walk towards them, when I saw her kiss him. My mouth dropped.

I was in shock but I thought that he would push her off but he pushed farther into the kiss. My breath hitched and I ran out. I couldn't believe him. He looked so happy that it hurt.  _ Why would he do that to me? I thought that he cared about me. _

My brain started telling me terrible things as I was running down the stairs. I needed out.  _ Who would love a fat fuck up like you? You're nothing and he knew it. He found someone better than you could ever be. _

Tears fell from my eyes as I ran out of the building. I ran. My legs were burning but I still didn't stop.  _ You meant nothing to him. You were just a cum dumpster for him. He doesn't and never cared about you. It's pathetic that you thought differently. _

I hit my head to get rid of these horrible thoughts. I don't know how long I was running for but I know it was for a long time because my legs gave out and I hit the ground. People around gasped and looked at me weird. I realized that it was probably because I was still in costume from the music video.

I looked around and saw a club. My legs lifted me up and I walked over, ignoring the burning in my calves. Thankfully, I had my wallet with me. I entered the club and heard gasps about me being Koda. I paid no attention and walked straight to the bar, asking for a long island iced tea. I knew that it would fuck me up beyond all recognition.

The music was bumping and I kept dancing with random people. Most of them had their phones out, recording the experience. I went along with it and started getting intimate with them on camera. I knew that the tabloids would say I'm cheating on IU but I didn't care.

Someone grabbed my hips and was grinding into my ass. I moaned and put my hand around their neck. I was wasted and it was dark so I had no idea who was behind me but, at that point I didn't really care. I could tell that they were wanting my ass.

We danced together for a while and then he started kissing my neck. I could feel my pants tightening. I didn't care who it was behind me. I just wanted someone to fuck me so that I didn't feel this pain anymore.

I grabbed his hand and led him towards the bathroom. The bathroom was dark as well, which was confusing as to why. Usually club bathrooms are bright but I guess the owner didn't want flashes of light disrupting the atmosphere. We walked in and I locked the door.

The man pushed me up against the sink and started kissing me hard. I moaned into the kiss as his tongue battled mine. He grabbed my waist and thrust our crotches together. I gasped, throwing my head back and giving him access to my neck.

His lips felt amazing but familiar. I didn't even think too much about it because I was too entranced in the pleasure I was receiving. He pulled me closer to him, his lips and teeth still attached to my neck. He slammed me into the wall.

I let out a cry of pain at the force. It hurt. The man grabbed my neck and lifted me off the ground. I was in shock and I looked at him. It was Adrian. I tried to gasp but his grasp on my neck got tighter.  _ There is no way this is real. It has to be a dream! _

He looked at me with a smirk. "Look at our little Giovanni, a world superstar, reduced to a weakling. You were always weak," he growled. "Did you think I wouldn't find you?"  _ This isn't a dream. _ He grabbed my shirt and threw me on the ground. My jaw hit the ground with a loud crack sound.

Adrian grabbed both of my hands and locked them behind my back. He pulled down my pants and shoved himself into me. I screamed out in pain. He kept thrusting into me, even with me begging him to stop. He was ripping me open. I could feel the blood running down my legs.

After what felt like forever, he came, and pulled out. He turned me over and started hitting me in the face. I felt so weak, I couldn't even fight back. I saw the bathroom door slam open but I couldn't stay awake. I felt myself slipping from consciousness, then everything went black.


	29. Chapter 29

I woke up and I was in a hospital. My eyes took a minute to register where I was. I looked around and saw Yoongi asleep on the couch, his face was covered in bruises and cuts. Snow was sitting in one of the chairs, sobbing into her hands.

My memories started coming back and without realizing it, I started screaming, scared that he was going to come back. Yoongi and Snow both jumped up and held me back on the bed. The nurses and doctor came running in. They pushed Yoongi and Snow out of the way and held me back to the bed.

"Giovanni, you're here. You're alright. He's not here anymore. You're fine!" the doctor kept telling me. It took me a little while but I ended up calming down. I was still having a panic attack.

"So, it was real?" I asked, my voice nothing more than a whisper. The doctor nodded.

"You had a lot happen to you. Mr. Min explained how he found you. You don't have to worry anymore. He's in jail," the doctor explained. I started crying, hoping that this was also a dream. "Don't worry, Giovanni, you're safe now. He's not going to hurt you anymore."

"Dr. Kim, we need you in room 302," a nurse said, popping her head in. He nodded and bowed to me before leaving the room. I looked around, both Yoongi and Snow's eyes looked red and puffy. They had to have been crying.

"What happened, Gio?" Snow cried, tears falling down her face at an alarming rate. I shook my head, sobbing.

"He...He wasn't supposed to find me. I thought I was safe from him. I'm never safe. I'll never be safe. He's going to kill me," I sobbed. Yoongi and Snow came to the sides of my bed.

"He's not going to hurt you anymore," Yoongi said, placing his arms around me. I sobbed into his chest. "I was the one who found you. I kicked that piece of shit's ass. You're safe. The cops have him now."

"H-he raped m-me," I sobbed. I felt Yoongi's embrace tighten and Snow start crying louder. "I was too weak to get away. He's right; I'm weak and pathetic."

"Never,  _ ever _ , say that you're weak. You went through hell and you're still here. Never say that you're weak," Yoongi cried. "I'm here. You're safe. Don't cry. I'm here," he soothed.

"He's going to find a way to kill me, I know it."

"No," Snow barked. "I will peel his skin off with a potato peeler before he gets to you again. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you."

"Don't cry. This wasn't your fault," I said, wiping the tears from my eyes. Yoongi let me go and kissed me on the head. "Please, tell me that nobody knows what happened," I begged Yoongi. He frowned and ran his hand through my head.

"Unfortunately, because you were dressed in your Koda outfit, the tabloids found out. The boys don't know that you're here because I told them you were with me. The only people that know besides the news is Snow, Hobi, and I," he explained. I nodded.

"Why did you go to the club?" Snow asked. I started crying again, remembering last night's events.

"Kookie kissed Jieun," I cried. Yoongi clenched his fists. Snow widened her eyes.

"What?!" Snow barked. I flinched and she took a step back, apologizing.

"I went to go see him after the shooting and Jieun kissed him. I thought he would pull back but he kissed her harder, grabbing her waist and everything," I sobbed.  _ He really didn't care about me.  _ Snow grunted and walked out of the room.

"That son of a bitch," Yoongi barked. "After everything he knows about you, he goes and does that bullshit?!" His loud voice scared me and I started shaking. He noticed and apologized.

"Please don't be mad at him," I started. They looked at me like I grew another head. "He found someone he can love in public. I'm glad that he found someone that he cares about," I cried, softly.

"It still doesn't excuse what he did!" Yoongi said, more like growling. I nodded. I didn't want him to be upset with Jungkook. I mean, it's not like he cared about me in the first place. "I'm going to talk to him. Get well soon, baby," Yoongi crooned before kissing me on the forehead and leaving.

"Please, don't let him come here!" I yelled after him.

Snow came back into the room and looked at me. "Thankfully, there is nothing seriously wrong with you. You can get released soon." She gave me a small smile.

"I don't want to be here anymore," I cried. She came over and sat on the edge of the hospital bed.

"Don't worry. We'll be back home soon," she said, smiling softly.

I shook my head. "No. I don't want to be in Korea anymore. I want to go back home to Arizona. I don't want to deal with this bullshit anymore. I don't want to be around the boys, I just want to go home!"

She grabbed me and hugged me. "I'll find a way. Are you going to be alright if I leave for a little bit?" she asked. I nodded.

Snow was gone for a few hours. I just watched T.V. while she was gone. The doctor came in a few times to check up on me. When Snow came back, she had a small smile on her face.

"We're leaving tonight," she said. I widened my eyes.

"What?"

"I told the CEO what happened to you here and that you don't feel safe here anymore and he agreed that it would probably be better for you to get better at home," she explained. I tilted my head.

"But, we have promotions to do for our new single." I was extremely confused. "Aren't we starting those here?"

She shook her head. "Not anymore. We're going to start them in Phoenix in a week, enough time for you to recover and get some rest."

"So we can go home?" I asked, crying from happiness. She nodded and I felt a wave of relief wash over me.  _ I can finally go home. _

_ 6 Months Later _

We were preparing for the Grammys. We were super excited except for the fact that we found out that BTS was going to be there performing, which meant that Jungkook would be there. Yoongi and Namjoon were going to introduce us. We had been practicing our songs for weeks now.

The Grammy's were tonight. We just found out about the boys and I was really uncomfortable. I haven't seen or talked to most of them in six months. I spoke with Yoongi a couple of times so that he knew that I was alive and Jin too but, other than that, I haven't really spoken with them.

_ This was not going to be fun. _ When we arrived at the hotel where the show was being held, we walked through the back and I looked over to some girls that were flocking around someone. I looked at the object of affection's eyes and I could have sworn that it was Adrian.

My panic induced and I grabbed Snow. She looked over and then back at me. She knew about the hallucinations getting worse and worse. It was Justin Bieber, not Adrian. My mind was playing tricks on me again.  _ I can't take this anymore. It just doesn't stop. _

It used to be only my dreams but, now it's always. It doesn't stop. I see him everywhere. I don't want to be here anymore. It hurts too bad. My heart can't take this anymore.


	30. Chapter 30

"One minute till Inamorata," the stage-hand said. I looked at Snow with tired eyes. She gave me a small smile. I squeezed her hand then let go. I looked at the screen and watched as Yoongi and Namjoon took the stage.  _ Why did they have to introduce us? _

"This next performance is done by some of the most incredible people I could have ever hoped to meet. They have taught me the true meaning of friendship and what it means to be strong. It was a pleasure to meet them and to also be able to call them 'friend," Yoongi stated.

"They were known for their covers on YouTube, before they became one of the biggest duos in the world Here to perform their favorite covers, please make some noise for, INAMORATA!" Namjoon screamed.

I took my place on the raising platform. The smoke from the edge of the stage totally blinded me from seeing the audience. All I saw was the bright lights from the stage. The piano started for the song 'Impossible' by Shontelle.

I looked around before the music started. I spotted BTS and Jungkook in the center of the front row. I was looking for my big brother, hoping that he was in the crowd. I spotted him sitting in the center of the third row. I nodded to him, watching him smile as his little brother was on stage.

I know that Max was in my past and I still hated him for what happened during his wedding but, I was still glad that he was here. It made me feel like everything could go back to normal in my life. I had already made the decision that would make it impossible for that to happen but, a part of me still had hope.

The cue for the lyrics happened and I started singing. I looked towards Jungkook, not wanting to, seeing his eyes filled with tears and looking directly at me. When I sang the line, 'All my scars are open', I stared at Yoongi. His widened eyes signaled that he knew what I meant. My cuts were open and bleeding.

He looked at me, his expression asking if I was alright. I shook my head, looking at him, still singing the song. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something but knowing that I wouldn't be able to hear him. He closed his mouth and I saw the tears in his eyes. I mouthed 'thank you' to him and I saw his eyes widened in fear and a tear slip from his eye.

'Please don't." I saw his mouth. Tears sprang to my eyes, knowing that could be the last time that I would ever see him again. I know there is the last song to do but after that, nobody would ever hear from me again. This was my final goodbye to everyone.

When I finished the song, everyone cheered for me. I walked off the stage, still trying not to cry. Snow was already preparing for her song, 'I will never let you down," by Rita Ora. She was lifted on to the stage in a cloud of smoke as I was and started singing.

The stylists found me and dragged me to the dressing room. My next outfit was put on the couch. I quickly put on the outfit since Snow's song was only about three minutes then I walked to the edge of the curtain. Once the puff of smoke came out, I was supposed to run to her side for the final song.

I did as I was told and ran to her side. The instrumental for 'Bring Me To Life (Synthesis Version)' by Evanescence came on. We started the performance. I was focusing on my big brother who was looking at me with such pride in his eyes.  _ If only he had any idea. I'm sorry, Max, Please don't hate me. _

I sang the song with every fiber of my being. Singing as hard as I could. I cried, knowing that this was the last time I'd be performing on stage. I felt the tears drip down my face as I looked at BTS who stared at as though they knew there was something wrong.

When the high note hit,I felt myself scream it out, begging for help. Even though I knew that nobody would come. This was my final farewell. I hoped that BTS, Kat, and Snow would be alright after I was gone.

The rest of the song was a blur as my eyes were overflowing with tears. I watched Jungkook and Yoongi leave their seats.  _ Goodbye. _ The song ended and we struck our poses. The lights turned off and I ran off stage, ripping off the mic pack and placing my mic on a nearby box.

I stopped when I saw Yoongi and Jungkook waiting for me with cautious and nervous eyes. "Koda," Yoongi started. I started hyperventilating at seeing Jungkook and just ran past them, not caring if they followed me. I just needed to get out of there.

"Let him go," Snow warned.  _ Thank you, Snow. I'll miss you.  _ I ran to the car that was waiting outside and jumped in the backseat, locking the doors.

"Drive. Please," I begged. The driver nodded and sped off. I saw Snow, Jungkook, Jimin, Hoseok and Yoongi chasing after the car. They stopped and ran back inside. I knew that they were going to go to the hotel, I couldn't go to that one.

My heart raced when I thought I left my wallet and phone there, thankfully, I have both. My phone kept blowing up with everyone asking where I was going and what happened. I turned my phone on do not disturb and looked up to the driver.

"Bring me to another hotel, far from the one I'm staying at. I don't care which one." He nodded and drove me to a Marriott not too far from the airport. "Thanks, Kevin. You're a really good guy." I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed.  _ Please, live well. _

"Thanks, Koda. You are too. I'm glad to be your driver." Tears streamed down my face again. I stepped out of the car, trying to console myself, and walked into the hotel. I walked up to the front desk and the associate gave me a warm smile that made me give her a small smile.

"Welcome to Marriott! My name is Margaret, how can I assist you?" Her widened eyes made me realize that I was still in costume. I took off my mask and held it in my hand. Her mouth dropped in shock when she saw my face.

"Do you have any availability for tonight?" She nodded. I handed her my ID and credit card. "I'll take whatever you have. I don't care about the cost." She nodded again and started typing away at her computer.

"Also, do you have a razor and shaving cream that you can put on my tab as well?" She nodded and opened a drawer. She handed me a razor and some foaming shaving cream. I thanked her and put them in my pocket.

"Alright, Mr. De Laurentiis, you're in room 304, third floor, 3rd door on the right from the elevator." She handed me my keys and I walked over to the elevator. I don't even care about elevators anymore. My reason for fear is what I'm planning to achieve.

As the elevator went up, I didn't even pay attention to where I was; I just knew where I needed to be. Since I was stuck in the elevator, I checked my phone. 42 missed calls and 57 texts. I decided that I was going to text Yoongi, something I promised him I'd do.

I opened KakaoTalk and I saw his texts.

'Please come back'

'Can we talk, please?'

'What happened?'

'Why were you crying on stage?'

'Did you cut yourself again?'

'I saw the blood on your shirt.'

When I read that one I looked at my sides and saw the blood spots decorating the white button-up I was wearing.

'I'm sorry. Please answer.'

'Koda. You're scaring me.'

'Don't do anything stupid.'

'Please, talk to me.'

'Please, let me be there.'

'Please, little brother. Let me help you.'

My heart ached even worse, knowing that I was upsetting him. I felt sick to my stomach. I need to wait till I get to my room. The elevator doors opened and I walked out to the room she gave me. When I entered, I saw that she gave me a fairly nice suite. The window overlooked the city and was gorgeous with the lights lighting up the busy streets of L.A.

I pulled out my phone and took a deep breath. He sent me more messages. I didn't dare open the ones from the others. I just deleted all of them, except for Jungkooks. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I went back to Yoongi's thread.

'Please tell me where you are.'

'I promise I won't go there. I just need to know that you're okay.'

'Please. Koda, don't hurt yourself.'

'I need my little brother here with me.'

My stomach finally calmed down, accepting my fate. I knew that no matter what, I would never see them again. It's for the best, the world is better off without me.

**Me**

I love you, Yoongi. Mianhae. XO

10:43 pm

I sent the message, my heart rate slowing down. My body is accepting defeat and is no longer trying to fight me. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the bath, filling it up high.

**3rd POV**

Yoongi was in the lobby of the fifth hotel. He sent Koda another message hoping that it would get through to him. 'I need my little brother here with me.' He didn't know if it would work or not but he was running out of time. He didn't know where to look or what to do.

All the other members were out at hotels looking for him as well. Snow, Namjoon, and Jin were taking the west side of town and Jimin, Tae and Jungkook were taking the north while Hobi and Yoongi took the central and south. Yoongi was exhausted but he had to try and find him as soon as possible.

His phone rang and he closed his eyes, hoping it was Koda responding and saying that he was alright, just upset. When he looked at his phone, tears burst from his eyes as he screamed, "NO!"

Yoongi had a flashback to when him and Koda were in Korea.

***

"Yoongi," Koda started. Yoongi tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. "If things ever get to the point that I can't handle it anymore, I'll send an XO to signal you."

"I won't let that happen. You're my little brother now. You can handle anything." Yoongi smiled and Koda gave him a small smile back and looked down. "Don't think that I won't be there in an instant if you send me that."

Koda nodded. "I just hope you're fast." Koda opened the door to his dorm and walked inside, closing the door behind him. Yoongi stared at it for a second.

"Don't you realize that I love you too much to lose you?" he asked aloud, knowing that Koda couldn't hear him. "Be safe, little brother."

***

Yoongi took off running. He looked at the next closest hotel, the Marriott. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him, begging God to give him speed. He ran inside the door and slapped his hands on the desk.

"Is there a Giovanni De Laurentiis here? I'm his husband and I think he's about to kill himself." The girl looked at him in shock, half in the statement he just made and the other half because he was Suga of BTS.

"What?!" Yoongi turned around to see Jungkook with Hobi, tears streaming down their faces, a look of horror on both of them. Yoongi turned back to the girl.

"Please! This is a matter of life and death." The girl swiped a card over a machine and handed the key to him. Yoongi grabbed it.

"Third floor. Room 304." She said. Yoongi took off running to the stairs. Jungkook and Hoseok follow behind him. He felt like his legs couldn't move fast enough as he took the stairs three at a time. When he got to the third floor he kicked the door open and ran to the room.

He inserted the key and went inside. "Koda," he yelled out. No answer. He ran in and looked around. Nothing seemed out of place. He ran to the room and nothing was there. He ran inside the bathroom and screamed.

Jungkook and Hoseok ran in and screamed too. Koda was laying in a bathtub, filled with red water. His wrists were bleeding profusely. Jungkook ran over and pulled him out. He put his head in his lap as Hoseok wrapped his wrists in towels, in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

"Baby, I'm here. Please don't leave me. Please." He begged, tears streaming down his face. "I'm here. Everything is going to be okay. You just have to hold on, okay? I'm gonna be right here."

Yoongi was on the phone with the ambulance, crying his eyes out. "We need an ambulance. Room 304 at the Marriott. Please."

"K-kookie," Koda whispered. Jungkook looked down at him. Koda's skin was pale and cold.

"I'm here, baby. Just hold on. Please!"

"I l-l-love y-" Koda couldn't finish the sentence before he passed out. Jungkook sobbed out loud, holding Koda tighter.

"No!" he screamed. "Please, stay with me. Oh my god." Jungkook couldn't hold back his sobs as he held the unconscious Koda in his arms.

Hobi tapped furiously on his phone as he tried to console the weeping Jungkook. Snow answered in two rings. "Did you find him?"

"Get to the Marriott, now!" He screamed into the phone before hanging up. It was only a minute before the EMT's came into the room. They ripped Jungkook away from Koda, Hobi holding him back against his will.

The EMT's placed a finger to his neck. "He's got a pulse but it's weak. We need to get blood in him now." One of the EMTs grabbed a blood bag from his bag and hooked it up to an IV. They jammed a needle into his arm and the blood started flowing while another EMT stitched up his wounds to stop the bleeding.

Hoseok pulled Jungkook out of the bathroom and sat him on the bed, holding the inconsolable maknae. Yoongi was laying on the ground sobbing. Snow, Tae, Kat, Jin, RM, and Jimin all ran in. Snow hit the floor when she saw Koda on the stretcher.

"Koda," Jimin screamed. He attempted to run over but RM held him back. Jimin struggled against his Hyung.

"Jimin. There is nothing you can do right now. You need to calm down," he explained. His face strewn downwards as tears started to flow from his eyes. Jin was trying to talk but felt like he was being suffocated. No words were able to come out of his mouth.

The EMT's were bringing Koda out of the bathroom into the living room, passing a crying Jimin and Namjoon, Jin and Snow were staring in shock, seeing Koda's wrists bandaged and unconscious.

Yoongi was still laying on the floor, sobbing. He stood up and walked towards the gurney. Jungkook followed him. "Are you family?"

"I'm his older brother," Yoongi stated.

"I'm his husband," Jungkook said at the same time.

The EMTs looked at both of them and nodded. "You can come with." They followed them out and ran down the stairs to meet them at the lobby. Photographers were lining the doorway and the way to the ambulance.

"Everyone make way! Move!" The EMTs kept yelling. Everyone was snapping pictures of Koda on the gurney and the BTS boys following them. Snow, Jin, Tae, and Namjoon went into a car, Jimin, Kat, and J-Hope went into the next one.

The ambulance pulled away and the cars followed closely. "Please be alright, Koda. Please." Snow kept chanting in the car. Namjoon was driving, Jin was in the passenger seat, trying to cry quietly.

"Koda." He looked up to the sky. "We need you here. You're not done yet. Please, live." Snow cried harder hearing his words. The thought that they could lose their friend like this was absolutely inconceivable.

"His time isn't over yet. He still has to give us grandchildren with Kookie," Namjoon said, trying to lighten the mood. Jin nodded, still crying.

_ Please, God, if you're listening. Please let Koda live! _ Jin mentally begged. He was never super close with him but he knew that Kookie loved him and knew that Kookie would never be the same if he lost the love of his life in this way.

But, they would find out the fate of Koda when they arrived at the hospital. They had no idea if he was going to live or not, they just hoped for the best. They prayed to God that he would be alright.


	31. Chapter 31

**3rd POV**

As every raced behind the ambulance, fear was in everyone's hearts. All of them felt sick to their stomach. Jungkook and Yoongi were in the ambulance, watching the EMT's trying to help. Koda was fighting for his life, laying on the gurney.

It didn't take long to get to the hospital. The EMT's ran inside with Koda, forcing Yoongi and Jungkook to be in the waiting room. Everyone parked and ran inside. Jimin was holding a sobbing Kat, Hobi ran over and hugged Yoongi, Namjoon and Jin were side by side. Snow ran and hugged Jungkook, Tae following behind her.

"Do we have any idea what's going on?" Snow sobbed. Yoongi wiped his eyes and shook his head.

"He's in surgery right now," he said. Hobi hugged him tighter. People in the waiting room were silently taking pictures of the group. 

"What happened after you left? We didn't even get to say goodbye," Jungkook cried. He was shaking violently, not knowing whats going on.

Snow sighed deeply. "First, we need coffee. Then, we'll get into the story," she said. They all nodded and got coffee before sitting down. "It all started when we came back," she started. "The nightmares started getting so bad that he wouldn't sleep for days."

"For days?" Jimin asked. 

Snow nodded. "He couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep. Eventually, it got to the point that he was having hallucinations. He was seeing Adrian everywhere. When we were at the awards tonight, he looked like he was going to pass out when he thought that Justin Bieber was Adrian. I guess he just couldn't take it anymore."

"I had no idea he was that bad. Why didn't you tell us?" Jin asked, concern and anger evident in his voice.

Snow shrugged. "He asked me not to. I have to respect his wishes. I thought I could handle it but, the hallucinations never stopped. He started going to therapy and I thought it was helping because he started sleeping more, the nightmares were still there but he was sleeping and eating." She sobbed into her hands.

"Then there isn't a way that you could have known this was going to happen," Tae explained, wrapping an arm around her. "I don't know what was going through his head but I just pray he's alright."

"I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose him," she sobbed harder. "I don't- I just-"

Snow couldn't even finish a sentence anymore. She was absolutely terrified, all of them were. The clock felt like it wasn't moving and the four hours they spent in the waiting room felt like days.

When the door opened, all their stomachs churned when the doctor came out, covered in blood. All of them rushed over to him, making his eyes widen and him retreat a few steps to give himself some breathing room.

"Is he alright?"

"What happened?"

"Where is he?"

"He's going to be fine right?!"


	32. Chapter 32

_ "He didn't make it." _


End file.
